Sins of the Rebels (Lush Trans Series #1)

Chapter 45

"What if umpog nalang kita sa pader, Reese? Baka sakaling bumalik ang memories mo, 'di ba?" The girl with a wide and big shiny forehead named Sophia said jokingly as she rubbed her right swollen eye.

Ang sabi niya, best friend ko siya since elementary kaming dalawa. Dalawa sila. Ipinakita niya ang mga pictures namin. Lalake 'yung isa at... ano ulit 'yung pangalan nun? Damon? Danilo?

Ex-boyfriend ko raw 'yung lalake. Noong una, hindi ako naniniwala hanggang sa ipinakita niya sa akin 'yung picture naming dalawa ni... ah! Si David. Oo! David ang pangalan niya!

Halos mahilo na ako sa dami nang kine-kwento niya na bonding naming dalawa, na hindi pumapasok sa isip ko, na hindi ko maalala, kaya wala akong magawa kung hindi ang titigan lang ang kanyang mukha habang taimtim na nakikinig.

"Gaga! Hindi magandang biro 'yan, Sophia. She's practically like a newborn baby now! Nangangapa siya sa kanyang paligid at sa mga bagay-bagay." Siniko siya nung Ayahzelle ang pangalan habang patuloy pa rin ang agos ng luha sa kanyang mga mata, basang-basa na ang kanyang mga pisngi.

As for Ayahzelle, uh, ngayong college ko lang siya naging friend... close friend, aniya. She also showed me our pictures together. And I... couldn't remember anything about us bonding...

"Biro l-lang naman kasi! Letche ka!" Sophia sniffed before dramatically turning her back on me and covering her face with her hands.

Inabot ni Jess ang kamay at pinisil 'yon kaya bumaling ako sakanya. Namumugto ang kanyang mga mata habang hindi na rin maawat sa pag-iyak sina Lia at Louisse habang naka-takip ang kanilang mga kamay sa bibig.

Jess told me that she and I met in a female washroom in our school during the enrollment, and became friends along with Lia and Louisse. And no matter how hard I try to remember, it only makes me feel dizzy and it hurts my brain if I force myself to remember a single memory of me being with them. 

"Girls, stop c-crying... hindi makaka-tulong 'tong pag-iyak natin sa amnesia niya—"

"We tried our best to hold our tears, Jess. She needs justice, bakit wala pa ring lead hanggang ngayon kung sino ang naka-bunggo sakanya? She or he or them almost killed her!" Ungot ni Sophia habang humihikbi, bahagya siyang lumayo sa akin habang sinusuklay ang kanyang buhok, parang stress na stress siya.

Huminga ako nang malalim at isinandal ang aking likod sa headboard ng kama habang pinagmamasdan silang lahat.

I bit my lower lip.

I'm so disheartened... disappointed... infuriated... with myself because why... why can't I remember them? Not even a single memory!

They're my friends for Pete's sake! And just by looking at all of them right now, weeping because of my situation.

It felt like my heart was being squeezed to a maximum level, or being stabbed by millions of needles. Sinapo ko ang dibdib ko sa paninikip na nararamdaman.

Did I make the right decision to see them right now? When I am like this? I asked my parents for this favor, didn't I? Thinking that this would help me remember one bit of my memory.

Hot tears clouded my eyes...

My face contorted in pain and my lips trembling in anguish, as I could feel myself breathing heavier than usual.

"I-I'm..." My throat tightened, a lump forming that made speech impossible. Overwhelmed by distress, I collapsed into tears, unable to contain the flood of emotions surging through my being.

"I-I'm s-sorry... I-I'm s-s-sorry f-f-for n-n-not remembering..." My chest heaved with each sob, breath catching in ragged gasps. I gently patted my chest while bursting into tears in front of them.