the perfect mistake

Chapter 22: i need you

ARIAS POV:
I woke up laying in Ezra's arm. realizing all I have done. All I have went through. Was it all worth it? It was because I love him. I love him more than I loved myself. I used the past tense because I can't love myself anymore. I'm so happy to have Ezra who will love me no matter what. I was staring around. Until I looked over at Ezra. I started kissing him to wake him up. "I wish I woke up to that everyday." He said I gently smiled "me too." I looked around still staring. "What's wrong? You okay?" "Nothing nothing I don't know what to think anymore I'm a horrible person. I can't even love myself. Ezra and I don't want you being with someone like me who's so caught up in the darkness. "Aria. No stop. We are finally going to have our happily ever after even if it takes me till the day I die for you to say 'I do' I'll wait. Wait forever because I don't want anyone else by my side. if you ever forget how to love yourself just know I'll love you enough for the both of us. And if you ever forget. You're Aria Montgomery. The love of my life. the strongest most beautiful women I know. I love you. Don't ever forget it." he said as my eyes filled I smiled and he cupped my face and brushed my hair back. He leaned in. "Don't ever forget it." I leaned in and kissed him. it all felt Surreal. the man that loves me more than words is by my side. But the fact of reality it wasn't real.

HANNAS POV:
As I stare at her limp body I hold her hand and feel nothing. sometimes I think it's better to think she's dead. because I need to face the fact she's never waking up. I look to see Ezra. He's a hopeless mess. He hasn't slept or ate anything in days. He's losing his mind. and if she doesn't pull through I might just lose my mind too.

EZRAS POV:
I got a call from Hanna crying telling. Me it's an emergency I had to rush to hospital. she couldn't stop crying once I arrived I realized why and suddenly I couldn't stop crying for nights, days and weeks. here we are two months later and I'm slowly losing myself. they said they'd only give her 6 months then that's it. Then they pull the cord. but I still have a little ounce of faith. every morning I look around and see that little black box and if I had one last chance I'd give it to her without question or doubt or thought I'd just propose because I love her and couldn't imagine my life with anyone else. The drinks slowly ease the pain. the many women trying to get me to bring them home don't help because it hurts. I just leave them there and can't sleep with them in their beds. I just bring them there and cry. because I can't do that to Aria. the night of the weddings he left. Left in a taxi to find me. she never found me instead they found her in a coma.

ARIAS POV:
I think I am dead most days. but then I'm constantly stuck in this dream that me and Ezra are happily ever after but I can't wake up. more than anything I want that but it's constant on repeat. It's like it's there so I can't forget it or him. I walk around sometimes in my dreams and see at what looks like a dead me on a hospital bed. everyone around me crying. Ezra. Oh Ezra. He looks like he's lost it. I try and reach out and talk to him but it's like he can't hear me. no one sees me. I felt like I was a ghost. I tried day after day for him to see me but he never does. I talk to him and sometimes when he's alone crying in the waiting room by the piano and the radio. Something's I turn on b26 so he can hear it. but it's like it hurts him more than it does make him feel better. nothing seems to get through to him except the liquor. i can't breath here and I need to go back. I need to find a way out. Today I saw a new dream. it was a flashback of my whole life. It's becoming harder to breath and I can't move. I want out. Help. I see the monitor go flatline. I see my face turn blue on the bed. I see Ezras eyes. I see him in tears. I saw him run out. I saw him run to roof. I saw him jump and fall. I tried stopping him but couldn't. I screamed. but no one hears. I saw his dead body lay there on the ground. no one noticed. Just like no one notices me.