Irreversible

⚜♚17. Wedding ♚⚜

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*

Anabia

I sat in the hotel courtyard early in the morning, my hands around a warm cup of coffee.

My baby, my Arsu was getting married today, and I was feeling a mixture of emotions.

"I know Arsu is your baby, but you need to step back after marriage. He's a grown man, Ma Sha Allah, and he needs to start his life with his wife now. Guide them when they need, but let them have their independence." My mother had advised me.

*

FLASHBACK

"I'm going to die!" I screamed out.

"Don't say that. You'll be fine, In Sha Allah." Rehan reassured me, holding my hand.

"I feel like my body has barely recovered from giving birth to Rohaan, and I'm already in labour again!" Tears endlessly poured down my cheeks."Rehan, get married again. You won't be able to handle four kids on your own." 

As the nurse and the midwife moved out of earshot, Rehan leaned down, pushing back my hair off my forehead. "I told you that we should use protection, but you didn't want to wait for me to go and buy it..." 

I glared at him. "This is not the right timing to tell your wife that, Rehan Tariq." I shook my head. "We're never doing that again!" 

"Skipping protection?" 

"S*x." 

He laughed, but sobered when I glared at him again. He cleared his throat. "You said that when Rohaan was born, and you are the one who asked for it when this one came into existence."

"I don't want my husband in the room for the delivery." I said, even though there was nobody in earshot but Rehan. "I have twin three-year-old daughters, a baby boy, and another baby that's about to come into this world. I'm stressed enough." 

He leaned down beside me, taking my hand in his. "And you have me to take care of all you. I know it's difficult, and I know that I can never even begin to understand your pain right now, but do this, and I promise that I'll make everything else as easy for you as possible."

I felt tears in my eyes. "During the last months, I developed a great bond with this baby. I spoke to him, discussed the books I was reading with him, and told him the daily gossip. Now I don't know if I'll even be around to actually hold my baby in my arms."

"May Allah give you a long and healthy life. May you witness all our children's happiness. Ameen." 

A contraction made me scream out, and the midwife returned. She checked, and looked at me. "It's time, Anabia." 

"Do not leave my side." I warned Rehan.

"Never, not till the day I die." 

"Let's talk life, not death." I pouted up at him. 

"Practice what you preach." He kissed my forehead. "May Allah keep you under His protection. Ameen." 

*

The fear evaporated, and not even a memory remained of it as I held my newborn baby boy in my arms God-knows how long later. We'd already had the skin-to-skin, and now the sweetheart boy was snuggled up against me in his blue teddy bear onesie. He had been crying uncontrollably, but the moment he was placed in my arms, he stopped crying.