Spade (MxM)

Chapter 102

"He woke up the morning after and he denied remembering everything that happened, including the kiss" Spade muttered out, feeling how sad and dejected his own voice came out

"Okay, but what if he actually doesn't remember"? Matteo asked and Spade shook his head

"That's impossible, he does remember, because after that day, he started avoiding me, spending all his time at the club with Bernie" he muttered the last part out with anger, as if it was Bernie's fault that Nate was avoiding him

"Okay" Matteo muttered, he could see how much talking about this was affecting Spade, which meant the actual incident did more than affect him, he'd never seem him like this
"Have you tried talking to him about it? Maybe telling him how you feel about it? Maybe he avoided you because he thought you regretted it?

Spade shook his head
"You don't get it, I did try to talk to him, countless times, but he kept pushing me away, doing everything possible to ensure I wasn't close to him" Spade muttered "so three days ago, I decided to go talk to him at the office I gave him in the club"

"Okay, how did that go"? Matteo asked with genuine concern, he knew talking about his feelings like this was really hard for Spade

He sighed out and ran his hand down his face, pulling it at the base of his beards
"Apparently he was with Bernie again" Spade gritted out, almost making Matteo to smile, he could hear the jealousy in Spade's voice, something he'd never heard from the man before
"And when I tried asking him about the night, he said he didn't remember what happened and he didn't wanna talk about it, whatever that means"

"Okay..." Matteo drawled out seeing the hesitation in Spade's voice and face, the man clenched his jaw again

"And then I kissed him again, I couldn't stop myself, I just.." he paused when he realized he was losing himself and rambling too much.
He let out a deep breath, giving himself time to compose himself before talking

"So what happened"? Matteo asked seeing the difficulty in Spade's eyes, the man looked at him and then at the empty space in front again
"Spade, what happened after you kissed him"?

He clenched his jaw, not wanting to repeat what had happened, the memory alone was eating at him, was biting him inside, he let out a deep breath "he walked away from me, said he couldn't do it" Spade muttered, balling his fists on the counter top.

Matteo let out a deep breath, he didn't even know what to say to this, there was really nothing for him to say, he wasn't a relationship expert, infact he had zero experience in relationships or feelings

"And since then he's been avoiding me again, and this time it's worse than before the whole office kiss, he doesn't even show up to the club anymore and I can't go to his office or apartment" he added quickly "it's like he doesn't even wanna be around me"

"Spade, I'm not really good with things like this and you know, but I don't think he's running away from you" Spade quickly turned to look at him, his eyes holding an array of hope as he stared at the blonde
"I think he just need a little space and time to figure it out"

"You think so"? Spade asked

"I'm not sure but I think he's overwhelmed, hell if a handsome, attractive and sexy man like you kissed me twice, I would totally lose my mind and run away for month" he tried to joke, seeing the worry lines on Spade's forehead to reduce, he smiled and put his hand on Spade's shoulders, giving it a light squeeze "he'll come around, don't think about it too much, if he likes you as much as you like him, he'll come around, just give him time"
Spade looked at him for a few seconds before he sighed out and nodded.

He really didn't like the fact that he was dumping so much of his own personal problems on Matteo, the blonde had been the one taking most of the workload since they started having problems with mystery man, and now he was adding Spade's problem to it.