𝐃𝐄𝐕𝐎𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍 - 𝐌𝐈𝐍𝐒𝐔𝐍𝐆

08 | Call It What You Want

✧༺♥༻✧

No regrets. That's what I kept reminding myself throughout the day. It's not that I regret going to the party, I don't even regret punching a random boy—it wasn't for me, but for Minho... and I guess for Chan and Changbin too.

The ache in my hand did regret it though. My form was shit. My knuckles bruised and they were sore. I've never gotten into fights growing up, this was kind of out of character for me but here's growing up.

The sound of someone walking up the bleachers pulled me away from my notebook. I was trying to catch up on the studying I didn't do last night. Yes, I wanted to have more fun in my life but grades were still a big deal to me.

My eyes met with blue ones as I looked up at the boy who stood in front of me. "I've been trying to get ahold of you all morning"

"I've been studying all morning, you know I keep my phone off when I do"

"Yeah, I do but I also know that you study later in the day—never this early"

I furrow my brows "It's noon"

"Jisung" Lukes's voice was stern. He spoke like he was scolding a kid. I knew why he was here, looking at me with fire in his eyes.

I shut my notebook and sigh "Say whatever you're going to say, holding it in is useless"

Luke stares at me for a second, "You went to the party the football players throw in the woods"

I shrug "That's what people are saying" I didn't confirm nor deny.

"Not what the others say but what I saw"

A video. Of fucking course, the world is against me on this one. Of course, people took videos at the party. Of course, I'm not that lucky to slip in and out of a party unnoticed by... well Luke.

He was a nice guy... one who hated those parties. He had something against them. He never said why, not that I asked. I never had an interest in them either, and still don't but with Minho—I don't know, I knew it would be fun and I knew it would also be fine. I didn't feel out of place or forgotten in the corner.

I stood up, "It's not a crime to have fun"

"Punching another guy in the face is assault Jisung, so technically a crime"

I scoffed "Fuck off" I was about to walk past him but he grabbed my arm, stopping me.

"This isn't you"

I frown and yank my arm out of his grip "I had fun Luke, you aren't the only one that's allowed to experience that"

His face dropped and I could see the guilt wash over his face but I didn't wait to hear his apology, I hardly did. It was always this way. He was good to me but then he wasn't. He speaks before he thinks. Regrets it later but he knows how it will end, I know that when I do let him apologize—I'll forgive him. That's what loneliness does to you, you never want to get rid of the only person that knows the real you.

I walk down the bleachers, my eyes going towards the field where the team practiced. It wasn't unusual for me to study here, I did often when the weather was nice—lots of others did.

✧༺♥༻✧

There was a video of me punching the boy Jackie was dating, forgetting his name but not the look on his face when he was ready to murder me afterward.

Everyone kept staring at me and I couldn't study in peace. I just wanted peace, but no...

I knock on the familiar door repeatedly before it opens. A confused Felix answers and I push through the door with a low groan. "How do celebrities do it?"