𝐃𝐄𝐕𝐎𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍 - 𝐌𝐈𝐍𝐒𝐔𝐍𝐆

09 | Lonely

Are you numb? Can you touch?
Is the silence a little too much?
✧༺♥༻✧

"Someone's in a mood" Hyunjin states the obvious as he takes a seat in front of me. Felix beside him looks me over and I roll my eyes.

"I woke up in a great mood" I lied, forcing a smile on my face.

I push around the fruit on my tray. I had no appetite and I skipped breakfast, I couldn't tell you why because I had no idea. I rolled out of bed earlier than I usually do, and ran like usual but instead of going back to the dorm, I found myself on the roof watching as the morning sun beamed.

I felt homesick and missed my bed back at home but honestly, I think I'm just lonely here—I was lonely over there as well but here I felt trapped and like I constantly had to be hidden, it was exhausting, to say the least.

I had Hyunjin to always occupy me and for the last year if I wasn't with him, I was off somewhere hidden with Luke. Luke helped a lot. In the beginning, he was so understanding and gentle but now he's pushy.

Loud laughter made the three of us look to the table beside us and I swallowed harshly when seeing the blonde laugh with his friends. He was so content with keeping us a secret, his life was perfect as is. He had his friends, his rich family, and this reputation of being one of the top boys in his classes. Good for him.

"I hate them," Hyunjin says bitterly. I look at him and he stabs his fork into his salad. "Rich and arrogant"

"Isn't your family just as wealthy?" Felix asks.

Hyunjin looks at him "Yeah..." He looks away "But they have a job ready for them after graduation, I don't. I still have to work for whatever career I plan on doing" Hyunjin says lowly, taking a bite of his food. My eyes wander to the table beside us.

"And you?" I look to Felix.

I shrug lightly, "My parents would love for me to follow in their footsteps but they travel a lot and that's not my thing"

Felix chuckles "Doesn't everyone love traveling?"

I look away and inhale lightly before getting up "I-I have a really bad headache, i'll see you guys later" I grab my tray and walk away, throwing it and walking out of the dining hall.

I walked to the bleachers, knowing it would be empty because it was lunchtime and everyone was in the dining hall at this hour. Looking over the bleachers, I was right. Empty.

I didn't walk up the steps but instead took a seat on the first row. Pulling my phone out and hitting call on the first number that came up. The ringing of the line made me swallow harshly as I placed the phone to my ear, hugging my arms to my body as a small breeze blew past me.

The ringing stops and a familiar gentle voice comes through "Hey hun, is everything okay?" her voice sleepy and I realized that she was asleep due to the different time zones.

I nodded, even though she couldn't see me. "Yeah," my voice was breathy as my vision blurred. "I... I just wanted to see how you are" I said, lying a bit. I just wanted to hear her voice, for her to tell me that everything will be okay. Maybe to tell me that I should go home and that she will also do the same. "You and Dad, how is it over there?"

"It's beautiful, I wish you were here to see it but your father and I know how much you value your studies," My mom tells me and I look down to my lap.

"Maybe we can plan a trip when I graduate?"

I can hear her let out a small sigh "About that—"

I shake my head "You're busy, both of you?"

"Honey, we are doing our best"