Perfect || Harvey Specter

Us

A few more weeks had passed, Callie had left to Seattle not long after she arrived.
Carmen had successfully pushed the thoughts away, not thinking of him since Callie left.
Not talking about him since she left.

She avoided him and the thought of him at all costs.

Not the healthiest thing, but it seemed to work for Carmen.

Today she returns to New York, after a long flight she heads to her office directly.

It felt strange to be back.
She felt as though she could see him any where she goes.
She didn't wanna hate New York, it was her home, but now, it seems so uncomfortable to walk through these streets.

From the side of her eye, she could swear she saw Harvey, she could swear she smelt his cologne...not possible.
She shook the thoughts away.

She walked through the lobby, pressing the elevator buttons.

"Carmen," a too familiar voice softly spoke.

Her heart fell.

Harvey.

This can't be happening. 

It's not real.

'I'm dreaming'

"Carmen," he softly placed a hand on her arm, "please, look at me."

She clenched her jaw, she couldn't avoid it, she wanted the earth to swallow her whole.
She hasn't been back for an hour and she already bumped into him.
"What?" She finally faced him.
He looked different, he didn't look at her with a glisten in his eyes, he looked at her with such sadness and yearning. Her heart ached, 'I hurt him'.

"I'm sorry," he started, "for not texting, and calling after that night, I'm sorry. But that night in the bar, she was JUST a client. You have to know-"

"I know, Harvey, I know." She sighed, avoiding eye contact. She couldn't bear it.

"What?" He was taken back, "you know?!" A slight anger grew in him, "I've been beating myself up about it, trying to explain things to you for a MONTH, and you 'know'?!"

"Harvey-"

"I've been-" his voice broke a little, "I've been trying to see you, to talk to you for a whole month, Carm."

A tear rolled down her face at the way he called her, "please Harvey, just leave."

"If you know, then why the hell won't you talk to me?" He scoffed, "why won't you look at me?" He stood in front of her, forcing eye contact.

"I had a long flight, I'm not doing this right now." She walked into the elevator.

"Carmen." He clenched his jaw, "don't."

She looked away, watching as the elevator doors closed, "I'm sorry." She said.

Harvey stormed into his office, pouring himself a drink.
He couldn't believe it.
He felt guilty for a month. A month.
And she knew that he never did anything wrong.

She let him torture himself over it, for nothing.

"A drink before noon?" Donna inquired.

"Not now."

"How'd your meeting with Richard go?" She sat opposite him.

"Fine."

"So you saw Carmen?" His heart sank at the mention of her name.

"Yeah."

"You talk to her?"

"Yeah," he gulped down the drink, "she knew."