Perfect || Harvey Specter

Aching

Harvey busied himself with more work, avoiding all the thoughts coursing through his head.
This wasn't the time.
Ava's life was hanging on by a thread.
All the evidence pointed to her; he wasn't even sure whether she was innocent or not.
And he didn't ask.
He didn't wanna know.
Because he shouldn't know.

Cameron Dennis was fighting tooth and nail for this case, and Harvey was just so tired.
He wanted to win. He can't lose.
Not Harvey.

But god, he was just so tired.

He rested his head on his hands.
The sleeves of his shirt rolled up, no tie, his hair a little messy from running his hands through his hair so many times out of frustration.

He had an odd feeling in his stomach.
Donna just told him she was dating Stephen, and she seemed to like him. Although they seemed to fit together, something felt wrong.

He felt like the answer was so close to him, so obvious but he can't quite grasp it.

It's been eating at him.

Or at least, offered a much needed distraction.

The night before, Carmen called Harvey, saying she needed to talk.
She sounded serious.
Harvey already felt like he was walking on eggshells around her.
He knew something was wrong, that something was bothering her. Or maybe even, she realised that she didn't want him anymore.

He had started to slowly convince himself of that, so when the call came, he practically stopped breathing.
His heart raced too fast, sweat dripping down his face. He clenched on a nearby chair, balancing himself.
He closed his eyes, attempting to control his breathing.
He didn't know what was happening.
He felt so weird.
So uneasy.

He was aching.

Once his heart calmed down, he went to face Carmen.
To hear what she had to say.

Once she said the word 'Seattle', he couldn't hear anymore. His ears were ringing, the bile travelling up. He shut his eyes again.

It happened again.

Stop.
Stop.
Please stop.
Carmen.

"Okay." Is all he said.

At the very thought of Carmen, his heart would tug.
It ached.
It was...painful to think about her.

He didn't understand what was happening.

Why she was leaving him, it didn't make sense.
He never did her wrong.
He never hurt her.
He was good.

He was perfect.

What went wrong?

Carmen felt an odd feeling in her stomach, it almost hurt.
A pit.
This anxious feeling.
She couldn't shake it off.

Her visit to Seattle, it was worth it.
She was sure of it.

She knew she did the right thing.

Now it's time to make right with Harvey.
He deserves to know the truth.

She needed to explain herself.

She never meant to hurt him.

She never meant for any of this.

She's made a lot of mistakes recently.

And it didn't make sense to her either.
Until she talked with Mike, she realised something.

Closure.

The day she left Derek, she never looked back.
Not one word.

Not only was it not fair to Derek, it was also not fair to her.