Degrees of Desire (gxg, txs)

chapter seven

-Diana

Divorce is messy. I knew that from the beginning. I just never expected it to be like this. I have only been married for 3 years. I got married at 20 thinking I could manage living like this for the rest of my life.

I knew deep down in me the real reason why I decided to marry Andrew and he did too.

My parents decided that it would be best for me to marry him. They own a huge company back home in London. His family owns a large business here in the United States that my parents wanted to partner with.

We are both the same age, they decided if we married it would make sense to merge the businesses as they would be passed down to us.

I knew at a very young age that this was not what I wanted. This was actually quite literally the opposite. I graduated secondary school at 17 and managed to graduate from university at 20, I didn't have a life apart from school.

I moved here to the United States once I graduated from secondary school. I decided to pursue my studies here to become a teacher. I knew that I did not need to work. I was already earning money from the family business.

I wanted to pursue teaching because it was something I genuinely enjoyed. I had a passion for literature. I enjoyed reading and writing. My parents had always seen it as a waste of time but I didn't let them get to me.

Just as I thought my life was going pretty well, I'm here in the middle of a divorce. I couldn't bear living with him any longer. I had known about his constant affairs for a year now. I never said anything because I genuinely didn't care.

I never loved Andrew. I only did what was best for my family. If it wasn't me, it would have been my younger sister. She is 17. She would have been the one to do this and I couldn't live with that.

Today, I finally finalized the divorce. When my mother found out, she was furious. My father was the one to try and calm her down but it was no use.

She knew I never liked that man, or any man to begin with. But she couldn't deal with that. She did this out of spite and I knew it.

For the past 2 weeks, I've found myself extremely drawn to her. Since the moment I walked into that coffee shop, it felt as if someone had open the blinds and the sun finally shined through.

On the stormiest day, she managed to have such an amazing attitude. She didn't let anyone else's emotions get to the best of her. Her beauty was compared to no other. She is absolutely gorgeous.

When I found out she was my student, I completely shut it down. I remembered walking into class that day and seeing her. It felt as if that sunshine she manage to radiate was completely gone. I knew I could never pursue her even if I really wanted to.

She's made it extremely hard for me to keep my cold demeanor towards her. As much as I try to keep the conversation minimal and vague, she always asks me how I'm feeling, or gives me that soft and sweet look.

Her eyes are mesmerizing. She has beautiful green eyes, with specks of light brown. Her long blonde hair falls past her shoulders. She is the definition of beauty.

It's such a pleasure for me to see how flustered she gets around me. Her pale cheeks instantly redden when I am around.

I notice she fidgets with her fingers but tends to hold eye contact pretty well. I can tell my accent is very interesting to her. I may or may not purposefully exaggerate it to impress her.

I have found myself constantly wondering how she is. I suddenly feel protective of her. I notice that her friend seems to be in love with her but she has failed to realize it.