Degrees of Desire (gxg, txs)

chapter thirty

-Isabella

18+

I dragged my feet through the empty halls. My heart was racing but I tried my best to calm down. I subconsciously made my way towards her classroom. My mind and body had completely memorized the steps to get to that room.

I stood in front of the door and knocked, waiting for her to allow me in.

"Come in."

I slowly opened the door as my eyes were glued onto the floor. I couldn't bring myself to look at her. I felt like if I did, I'd end up crying or something.

I shut the door behind me and walked towards a random empty seat. I finally looked up at her and she was watching me intently.

"You wanted to see me?" I asked taking a seat in the chair.

It wasn't the usual spot I sat at. It was one a little farther away. I didn't know if she wanted me to be close to her right now. I wanted to give her space if that's what she wanted. I didn't want to overstep.

"Yes." She began. "I wanted to talk about your test." She quickly added.

My heart sank. Was she going to completely ignore what was going on? It's not like it hasn't happened before.

All this time I believed that we were finally going to be able to talk about what happened but instead she was referring to the shitty test I just took not too long ago.

"Oh." I said realizing my sad tone and quickly tried my best not to seem so disappointed. "What about it?"

"You left a lot of the questions blank. This isn't like you to not finish your test." She sighs handing me the papers. There was a "C+" written on the front of it.

I felt tears build up in my eyes. I have never received a grade like this before. I could already envision how my parents are going to react. So many scenarios were going through my head but I pushed the thoughts to the back of my mind.

I looked up at her and saw she was already looking into my eyes with a softened expression. I could tell she was pitying me but she didn't want to show it too much.

"Sorry. Didn't have much time to study. If I'm honest, I completely forgot about it. It won't happen again." I assure and stand up. "Is that all?"

She seemed surprised I had stood up so fast. I'm sure she expected me to at least try and talk about it.

"Uh- yeah that's all. You could retake this if you'd like." She added.

"That's alright. I made a mistake. I should live up to it." I nodded trying to convince myself it was okay. "Plus, you made it clear that you wouldn't allow retakes in your class. I wouldn't want others to think you are giving me special treatment." I said it a little more harshly than I had intended. I didn't mean for it to come out so negatively.

I knew she was only trying to help.

"Well, alright then." She averts her eyes from mine and fixes the stack of papers on her desk making them appear more neater.

"Have a good rest of your day." I said putting the test into my bag.

I began to walk away trying to stop the tears that were threatening to fall from my eyes. I opened the door and walked out quickly. I walked as fast as I could towards my car.