Degrees of Desire (gxg, txs)

chapter thirty six

-Isabella

I had been calling and texting all weekend but I haven't received anything back. I was beginning to get worried. Did I do something wrong?

I waited by my phone all day and night, waiting to hear something, anything.

Today was our first day back after our winter holiday. I was eager to see her again to try to make sense out of all of this.

I arrived a bit earlier than usual. Diana tends to get here a bit early so I wanted to see if she'd be here. I walked to her classroom and tried to see if the door was open. It was not.

I knocked but didn't hear anything back. I opened the door and the classroom was completely empty. I gave up and just went to wait in my car until my Iris and Elena got here.

My relationship with Nate had slowly deteriorated since what had happened with Ashley but I can see he's attempting to gain it back.

My first class had passed by incredibly slow. Nate had been trying to make small conversation with me and I'd respond back. I don't hate him. What he did made me feel like he didn't really trust me. At the end of the day we are friends and I'm not going to forget that.

I practically ran out of the classroom so I could go see Diana. It wasn't the same as being alone but at least I could see her.

When I walked into the classroom, she was seated at her desk with her eyes fixated on her computer. It was almost as if a part of me wanted her to not be there.

That part of me wished that she wasn't purposefully ignoring me.

We met eyes and she watched as I took a seat at my usual desk while other students piled into the classroom.

"Good morning students. Today we are going to be starting a new book as a class. I'll hand them out and you can take the rest of the class to begin reading and taking notes. Tomorrow there will be a quiz on the first chapter." Diana's voice flows effortlessly through the room as she gets up and begins to hand out books.

As she began to finally approach the last row, she placed a book on my desk and without sparing me another glance, she continued to walk away.

I still cannot figure out what it was that happened. I don't know what I had done wrong.

I picked up the book off of the desk and a small note fell out from one of the pages.

I need to talk to you. Meet me here during the TA session.
-D

I felt my heart drop and I began to think of the worst things that could come from this conversation. Did she not want to be with me anymore? Was she beginning to get tired of me?

I looked over at her desk and she had been quietly watching me. I turned my attention back towards my book and let my mind drift off to how the future might look.

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The time of our inevitable conversation had been creeping up on me. It was all I could think about as I walked from class to class. I had completely tuned everything out until this moment.

A part of me knew what would be happening but I could feel myself being in denial about it. I was trying to accept the worse outcome before I even knew exactly what was going on.

Just when I thought things were perfect, this happens.

I stood in front of her door, contemplating if I should walk in or turn around and never look back. After all, she can't say anything I don't want to hear if i'm not even there at all.