Aşkım.. You're Mine

Aşkım 39

YOU will really never knew what will happen in the future. If She only knew that that night will be the last night that she will see his face, she should have fought her drowsiness and talked to him more even if they reach until morning. If only she knew that talking to him that night will be their last talk, she should have told him how much she loves him and how she treasure every moment they spent together. If only she knew that night would be the end of their relationship, she would have spent it looking at his grey eyes and handsome face never knowing that when the morning comes there would be no Oguz to call her again anymore. She never knew that that night will be the last night that she will have a very good sleep because after that night she's been deprived of sleep thinking about the man she loves the most.

She keeps on waiting for his call that he promised to her that night but hours, days, months and years passed by, there is no call or even a single text message that she received from him. She's been thinking unnecessary things that might have happen to him. She don't want to think that he ghosted her but all the circumstances are telling her that he really did ghosted her. Even her family, especially her two old brothers told her to stop thinking about Oguz. Her friend Giselle is so furious too when she knew what Oguz did. She can't blame them, Even her, feels disappointed to what happened to their relationship. Never did she knew that their almost perfect relationship will be this wreck. She doesn't want to think that Oguz left her after getting her innocence. She doesn't want to think that it's just what he's after. I knew he is not that shallow. She believed that he really loved her for real, at least that is what she wanted to believed in.

It's been four years. She already accepted the fact that their relationship has already reach it's end. But she still can't help to reminisce all those happy moments that they shared together. All his possessiveness and clinginess' towards her. All the care and love that he made me feel. But she knew to herself that all those things are now gone. She needs to accept the truth that the once true love that she experienced with Oguz was now a part of her past only. A past that she can never erase completely of her system. Like everybody's saying, life must go on and we have to move on. That's what she's been doing for the past four years of her life. She can't afford to be weak because there are people that defending on her. She also have her family and friends that always on her back to cheer her anytime when she feels like crying. She also have Purple, who also help her and stay with her during those dark and lonely times of her life. She also have Choco that served as her warmer when cold nights embrace her. And most of all her favourite, Lynde her adorable little kitten that makes her happy every time she comes home tired from whole day working. Those three will come running to her once she open the door of her own apartment unit. They would hug her and kiss her, especially Lynde the sweetest and most clingy of all. They are my happiness now. They are the reason why she still smile and continue living happily even though there is a hole in her heart that remained open.

Just like now, she can't help but to smile while looking at the three precious gift she have. Choco is eating and on his side is Purple also eating her food on her plate. And on the small table there is Lynde also eating her food in a messy way. She chuckle and continue eating her food too. It's her day off today, they are having their breakfast. She heard the doorbell rang so she decided to open it. it was her friend Giselle. Napangiti siya ng makita niya ito.

"Bff! good morning" malakas na bati nito.

"Ang aga-aga pa Giselle hyper ka na agad." natatawa niyang tugon dito. Sa totoo lang namiss na rin niya ang kaibigan niyang ito. Naging busy siya sa trabaho niya kaya hindi na sila masyadong nagkaroon ng time magbonding maliban sa sandaling pagkikita at kunting usap. Hindi na rin kasi sila magkasama sa trabaho. Umalis na siya sa trabaho niya sa hotel dahil sa mga nangyari sa buhay niya na hindi inaasahan. Ngunit nagpapasalamat siya na mayroong Giselle sa buhay niya. Ito kasi ang nag-aalaga minsan sa tatlong treasure niya sa tuwing wala ang nakatalagang tagapangalaga ng mga ito. Minsan naman ay ang mga kuya niya ang pinag-iiwanan niya sa tatlo. Hindi rin kasi pwede na walang titingin sa mga ito, lalo na kay Lynde na masyadong makulit at maligalig kaya kung minsan ay nagrereklamo ang kanyang mga kuya dahil napapagod daw ang mga ito sa kakahabol sa little kitten niya. Pero masyado  namang mahal ng mga ito ang little kitten na iyon. Who can resists her anyway? Not even me.

"Syempre naman bff, namiss kaya kita at ang mga bonding moment natin." nakangiti nitong saad ng makapasok. "Where is my favourite little kitten?" tanong pa nito.

"Ayun oh." turo niya dito gamit ang kanyang nguso.

"Little Kitten Lynde come to tita pretty, I have pasalubong for you, and for Purple and Choco too." masiglang tawag nito sa tatlo.

Nakita niyang mabilis na tumakbo palapit dito si Choco kasunod si Purple at nahuhuli naman c Lynde na hindi makatakbo ng mabilis dahil sa malusog nitong katawan. Puro pa pagkain ang mukha nito kaya naman bahagya siyang natawa ng makita ang itsura nito.

"Little Lynde look at you, you are so cute and so adorable. Pwede bang akin na lang si Little Lynde bff.?" nakanguso nitong sabi sa kanya na para bang nanghihingi lang ng candy sa kanya. 

"Manahimik ka nga Giselle, akin lang si Little Lynde, pati na rin si Choco at Purple ko." sagot naman niya dito at pabiro itong inirapan.

"Ang damot mo naman bff, pero okey lang basta nakakasama ko sila anytime I want to be with them." Masaya na ang bukas ng mukha nito.

"Syempre pwede mo silang makita anytime. Sira ka talaga eh ikaw nga minsan nag-aalaga sa mga iyan di ba?" sagot naman niya dito.

"Ay oo nga pala hahaha. Maiba ako bff, kamusta ka naman at ang shop mo?" tanong pa nitong muli sa kanya.

"I'm okey Giselle and my shop is also doing fine now. Ikaw, ano nang balita sayo?" balik tanong niya dito. Sa totoo lang ilang beses na niyang sinagot ang tanong na kamusta na ba siya at lagi niyang sinasabi na okey siya kahit pa nga hindi niya alam kung ang sarili ba niya ang pinapaniwala niya o ang taong nagtatanong sa kanya. Ang shop naman na sinasabi ni Giselle ay ang negosyong tinayo ng kanyang kuya Tanner at Kuya Talha na siya ang ginawang tagapamahala na kalaunan ay ibinigay na ng mga ito sa kanya para umano malibang siya noong mga panahon na lugmok siya at hindi na pwedeng magtrabaho. Kaya naman labis ang pasasalamat niya sa suporta ng kanyang mga kuya hindi lang sa aspetong pinansyal kundi lalong-lalo na sa aspetong moral. They are her strenght during those times.

"Mabuti naman at okey ka bff, okey lang naman ako. Eto malapit ng matuyo sa kakahintay ng the one ko. Hayyy naku." tila malungkot na sagot naman nito.

"Don't worry friend, I know darating din ang the one na hinihintay mo, wag ka lang magsasawang maghintay." pagpapalakas niya ng loob nito.

"Hay naku bff namumuti na ang mga mata ko kakahintay. Ikaw ba wala pa bang nagpapatibok ng puso mo?" baling nito sa kanya.

Ngumiti lang siya dito bago tumingin sa tatlong makukulit na naglalaro sa sala niya. "Sila lang naman ang nagpapatibok ng puso ko sa ngayon Giselle. Sila ang kasiyahan ko sa ngayon kaya hindi ko na kailangan pa ng ibang magpapatibok ng puso ko dahil sa kanila pa lang kuntento na ako, masaya na ako." mahaba niyang tugon dito habang patuloy na pinagmamasdan ang tatlong makukulit.

"I know that you love them bff. And I also know that you're still waiting for him that's why you're not entertaining those men that begged for your attention." makahulugan nitong turan sa kanya.

Bigla naman siyang natahimik dahil sa mga salitang binitawan nito. Aminin man niya o hindi ay alam niya sa kanyang sarili na patuloy siyang lihim na umaasang babalik ang lalaking matagal na niyang hinihiling na muling makita. Tanga na nga siguro siya dahil sa kabila ng ginawa nitong pag-iwan sa kanya ng wala siyang alam na dahilan ay patuloy pa rin siya na umaasang  babalikan siya nito kahit na walang katiyakan. Wala mang kasiguraduhan ang mga lihim niyang hiling ay umaasa siyang muli niya itong makikita. Marami siyang gustong itanong dito. Hindi niya alam kung ano ang mararamdaman niya oras na makita niya ito dahil alam niya sakanyang sarili na tanging ito lamang ang lalaking kanyang mahal, minahal at mamahalin kahit ano pa man ang nangyari sa kanila sa hinaharap. She can't see her self loving other man that is not Oguz in the future. At bago man mangyari ang inaasam niyang muli nilang pagkikita ay kailangan niyang mag-ipon ng lakas ng loob upang maibato niya ang mga katanungang matagal ng nakahimlay sa kanyang isipan na nangangailangan ng kasagutan at tanging ito lamang ang makapagbibigay ng mga kasagutang iyon sa kanya. Sana lang ay hindi siya mawalan ng pag-asa at lakas ng loob na maghintay dito, dahil naniniwala siyang babalikan siya nito tulad ng pangako nito na babalikan siya nito hindi man siguro sa ngayon pero naniniwala siyang babalikan siya nito.