Off The Field

twelve

From Beth:
Sending you and Courtney so much love! I'm having to head back to camp today but if you need anything just let me know xx

To Leah:
Thank you for everything yesterday, Beth. Means the world. If any of the girls ask, can you just tell them the truth? I don't think I can face telling them xx

From Beth:
Of course I can. Leave it to me xx

Sliding her phone back onto the bedside table, Leah drapes her arm over Courtney's waist as the brunette lets out a shaky breath and shuffles closer to the blonde.

'Do you need anything? Painkillers? One of my heat pads?' Leah asks softly and Courtney shakes her head.

'We need to pick up Bunny.' Courtney says quietly, her hand resting on top of the blonde's and linking their fingers together.

'My mum said she'll drop her off... She's happy to have her until after dinner time or even overnight again.' Leah replies and Courtney shakes her head.

'Not overnight.' Courtney replies.

'Okay. Just until after dinnertime then.' Leah says and Courtney sighs. Neither of them has had anything that would even count as a decent chunk of sleep.

'I'm so sorry that I couldn't keep our baby safe.' Courtney almost whispers causing the blonde's arms to tighten around her.

'Don't do that, Court. Don't blame yourself for this. I know how much you wanted that baby. If love could've saved them then that baby would still be growing big and strong in your belly...' Leah says.

'I feel like my body has let us down... Like it hasn't done the one thing that it's made to do.' Courtney admits.

'No, what's happened is awful and horrible but it isn't your fault and it isn't your body's fault either. It's just a horrible, horrible thing.' Leah says pressing her lips against the brunette's shoulder. Neither of them have slept very much throughout the night but they've barely spoke as well, instead choosing just to lie in silence with tears streaming down both of their cheeks. Shuffling backwards until she's pressed against the blonde, Courtney sighs and grips onto Leah's hand.

'Please don't leave me.' Courtney whispers.

'I'm not going anywhere, love.' Leah says.

****

'Oh bubba... Come here.' Amanda says softly as she opens her arms and watches her daughter immediately move into her embrace. Wrapping her arms tightly around Leah, her heart aches as the blonde sobs into her shoulder.

'I'm sorry.' Leah mumbles attempting to pull away from the redhead who only tightens her arms around the blonde.

'Don't. You don't have to act all strong with me. I'm your mum.' Amanda says.

'Bunny is asleep in the car so we've got some time.' Amanda adds feeling the blonde immediately relax into her arms.

'Court is sleeping as well.' Leah mumbles and Amanda nods her head.

'Then we've got plenty of time.' Amanda says softly. Pulling away slightly, Leah closes the front door over and sits down on the doorstep, thankfully their house is set back from the road giving them the privacy they wanted.

'What's going through that head of yours? Talk to me, Leah?' Amanda asks taking a seat next to her daughter.

'I should've been here.' Leah replies shaking her head.

'None of us were to know this was going to happen, Le. You got back as soon as you could.' Amanda says.

'It's not good enough... I left her and I just- She'd already had bleeding at the beginning of the pregnancy and I should have just said that I couldn't go to camp this time, they'd just have to replace me.' Leah replies.

'Do you think that's what Courtney wanted? I know that she told you time and time again to go to camp. The sad reality is that this was going to happen whether or not you were here and that's shitty. I get that it's shitty. I wish I could wrap you both up and take this pain away from you both but you can't blame yourself for not being here.' Amanda says. Letting her head drop to rest on her mum's shoulder, Leah sighs as tears continue to stream down her cheeks.

****

'Mumma poorly?' Bunny asks as Leah peeks her head into the bedroom with the little girl perched on her hip.

'Mm-hmm... Mummy's feeling a little bit poorly today.' Leah replies softly causing Courtney to lift her head off the pillows and glance towards the bedroom door.

'Not too poorly for cuddles with my Bunbun though.' Courtney says causing Leah to smile slightly. Making her way into the bedroom, she carefully places the little down on the bed and watches as she immediately snuggles into Courtney's chest.

'Could you make me up a hot water bottle, bubs?' Courtney asks glancing at the blonde who nods her head.

'Of course... Is there anything else you need?' Leah asks and Courtney shakes her head.

'Just the hot water bottle.' Courtney replies. Leaning down, Leah presses her lips against the brunette's forehead before taking the cold hot water bottle and making her way back downstairs. Setting the kettle to boil, she runs her hands over her face and sighs as she feels her phone vibrate in her pocket. Pulling it out her pocket, she glances down at her unread messages and immediately begins to reply to some of them.

three best friends and Lucy:
Keira – Sending you and Courtney all our love, Lele... If there is anything you guys need please don't hesitate to ask and we'll all do our best to sort it all out for you Xx

Georgia – Love you both so much xx

Lucy – Hope you're both okay, Leah x

Leah – Thanks guys x

Making up Courtney's hot water bottle, Leah makes her way back upstairs and into the bedroom. She passes it to Courtney who immediately tucks it against her stomach and pats the space on the bed beside her. Climbing into bed beside Courtney, Leah sighs and drapes her arm around the brunette. Bunny is on the opposite of Courtney watching Shrek which has been put on their TV at the end of the bed.

'I feel like I could sleep for a week.' Courtney admits.

'Why don't you go back to sleep for a bit? I can take Bunny downstairs?' Leah suggests and Courtney shakes her head.

'I don't want you to go... I don't want any of you to go. I want to spend the night in bed with my people.' Courtney says and Leah nods her head.

'Okay. We're not going anywhere then.' Leah replies softly.

****

It's a little after 3am when Leah wakes with a groan; the curtains aren't closed properly resulting in a small slither of light streaming through the gap and Leah's neck is stiff from the position she's lying in. Courtney is curled up at her side, the hot water bottle held tightly against her stomach with one hand, her other wrapped around Bunny who also remains in their bed.

'Where you going?' Courtney asks groggily, her hand letting go of the hot water bottle to wrap around Leah's wrist as the blonde attempts to get out of bed.

'I'm just closing the curtains properly, love. I'll be right back.' Leah replies feeling Courtney's grip loosen allowing her to quickly make her way over to the window. She closes the curtains before climbing back into bed beside the blonde.

'Hot water bottle need redone?' Leah asks and Courtney shakes her head.

'It'll be okay until morning...' Courtney replies.

'Are you sure? I don't mind going to re-do it. Or you could try one of my heat patches? I have some in my bedside drawer?' Leah offers and Courtney nods her head.

'Heat patch sounds good.' Courtney replies quietly. The blonde reaches into the drawer and pulls out a patch before helping the brunette put it on so they don't wake Bunny.

'Thank you.' Courtney says quietly as she curls back into the blonde's side.