Off The Field

seventeen

note: just an extra for today because it's after midnight an I'm awake with the baby who doesn't appear to be going to sleep any time soon! Just wanted to say I really love reading your comments and I'm so glad to hear you guys are enjoying the story. I will continue to update as regularly as I possibly can as long as you guys are enjoying the story. 

'Are you sure that you're ready for me to go back to training? I can stay if you need me to?' Leah asks softly as she sits on the edge of the bed.

'Mmm... I'm going to head into the office for a bit today. See what I've missed and work out a plan of action for returning to work.' Courtney replies and Leah nods her head as she lets out a small sigh.

'Are you ready to return to training?' Courtney asks watching as the blonde shrugs her shoulders.

'I don't know but I do know that the more I put it off then the harder it's going to be... The girls have been messaging me non-stop, Wally's worried and I just- I know I have to go back.' Leah replies watching the brunette push herself up on her elbows. It's been three days since the rest of the team returned from international duty and returned to club duties but Leah had requested some more time away from the squad to get her head straight which Jonas had been more than happy to approve once he'd found out their circumstances.

'You can talk to them about it, you know? The girls, you can tell them the real reason you left camp if it's going to help you.' Courtney says and Leah nods her head.

'I know. I just- I don't know if I want to talk about it to everyone.' Leah replies causing Courtney to chuckle slightly.

'I'm not saying you need to go announce it to the team... I just mean if you were wanting to tell Wally or Laura then I don't mind.' Courtney says.

'Oh... That makes more sense I suppose than what I was thinking.' Leah replies smiling as she gently brushes some hair out of the brunette's face.

'I love you.' Courtney says and Leah nods her head.

'I love you too.' Leah replies smiling.

****

'Leah, can I have a chat?' Jonas asks causing the blonde to nod her head as she follows him into his office. He closes the door behind her and gestures for her to take a seat which she immediately does.

'Is everything okay?' Leah asks quietly.

'Oh there is absolutely nothing to worry about here, Leah. I just wanted to check in and see how you're doing, see how Courtney is doing.' Jonas says causing Leah to let out a breath she didn't realise she was holding.

'We're okay, I think. She's working out a plan of action to head back to work and well I'm here.' Leah replies shrugging her shoulders.

'What do you need from us? Do you need us to implement a plan which means you are easing your way back into training? Are you ready to be back?' Jonas asks.

'Can I be honest, Jonas? I don't know if I'm ready to be back. I don't know what I need right now but I know that the longer I leave it the harder it'll get. I know that both Courtney and I need to start living some sort of normal life. So I don't know if I'm ready to be back yet but I know that this is where I need to be.' Leah replies and Jonas nods his head.

'Well we are on your side, Leah. If there is anything you need then you know where I am. We can take things a day at a time, a game at a time... You just let me know what you need when you need it.' Jonas says and Leah nods her head.

'Thank you, Jonas... I mean for everything, for being so understanding when I said I needed a few extra days away.' Leah says.

'Family comes first and you come first, Leah.' Jonas replies.

****

'Courtney had a miscarriage...' Leah says quietly as she glances at Lia who is sitting beside her at the edge of the pitch.

'What? I'm so sorry, Le.' Lia replies and the blonde shakes her head as she sighs.

'It's why I left England camp early. It's why I asked for a few extra days before I came back to training... I just- It has completely knocked us.' Leah admits.

'That's completely understandable, Le... How are you? How is Courtney?' Lia asks.

'We're getting there I suppose... It's been hard, we both felt a lot of guilt and then I had quite a bad endo flare-up like a week after it happened and I just- Yeah, it's been really hard.' Leah admits.

'That must have been so hard for you both to go through, Le.' Lia says softly as she drapes her arm around the blonde's shoulders.

'Mm... It got harder when all the articles started coming out about how people were questioning whether or not my heart was in the game because I just wanted to scream at them that my heart felt like it had been ripped out of my chest.' Leah admits dropping her head to rest against Lia.

'Oh, Le... That must have been so hard, some people don't know just how to mind their own damn business, do they.' Lia says softly. They sit in silence for a few minutes, watching the rest of the girls messing around on the pitch until Leah lets out a small sigh.

'I might've done something really stupid.' Leah whispers.

'What? What do you mean? What have you done?' Lia asks, concern clear in her voice.

'I bought a puppy.' Leah replies.

'You bought a what? When?' Lia asks.

'A puppy... The other day Court way just so sad and I just wanted to fix it then I was looking online and I found this breeder who had puppies who were very nearly ready to leave...' Leah replies.

'Okay. I'm not quite sure I understand how this is a stupid decision?' Lia asks.

'Courtney doesn't know... Initially I thought it would be a nice surprise but now I'm worried she's going to hate it, that she's going to think that I'm trying to replace our baby.' Leah admits biting her bottom lip.

'I'm sure she won't hate it, Le... Courtney has wanted a puppy for a while, she's not going to think you're trying to replace the baby.' Lia says softly.

'Do you think?' Leah asks and Lia nods her head.

'Court knows you and she knows that you wouldn't think or even want to replace that baby you both lost... She's spoken before about how much she'd love a dog, she's going to love it.' Lia replies causing the blonde to smile.

'When do you pick the puppy up?' Lia asks.

'Tomorrow...' Leah replies smiling.

'Bunny will be in her absolute element with a puppy.' Lia says and the blonde laughs as she nods her head.

'She will. She'll absolutely love having a little puppy running around the place.' Leah replies smiling.

****

'I missed you today...' Leah says wrapping her arms around the brunette and pulling her into her arms.

'Mm...' Courtney mumbles, her chin resting on the blonde's shoulder.

'Not gonna say it back, no? Not missed me?' Leah asks laughing as Courtney's arms tighten around her.

'Of course I missed you... I always miss you.' Courtney replies smiling.

'How was training?' Courtney asks as they move to sit on the sofa.

'It was good. It was nice to be back with the girls, to have a little bit of normality... What about you? How was the office?' Leah asks, taking hold of Courtney's legs and pulling them over her lap.

'Mm... It was a lot.' Courtney admits, her back resting against the armrest as Leah's fingers gently trace shapes against the brunette's shins.

'You know you don't have to go back just yet, you can take as much time off as you need, Court.' Leah says and Courtney nods her head.

'I've arranged to ease myself back into it. Not going back full time, five days a week straight away. I just- Couple days at a time, no meetings with clients etc.' Courtney explains and Leah nods her head.

'That sounds like a good plan.' Leah says softly.