Blackbird - ATEEZ Pirate!AU

Drowning Lessons

I was madly in love,
We argued so much.
You left first.
It's been raining all day here,
It quickly reached the tip of my chin.
I'm out of breath.

The pendulum of my heart drags me deeper and deeper.

Oh, I'm drowning.
It's raining all day, yeah.
I can't breathe, yeah.
Oh, I'm drowning. 
I'm drowning.
You're taking my life from me.

Why did you close your eyes after knowing everything?
Killed me with kind words.
You laid me down, and you left.
You cut me bad, I'm still waiting for you.
After you leave, this place is locked away with tears.
You loved me so much...
Where did they scatter?

I could fall deeper and die,
Will you come back one more time?
I could fall deeper and die,
One more time...

"Drowning" - WOODZ

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I left my room quickly, shutting the door behind me. I stood, leaning against the door to my room for a long, quiet moment. By then, I knew the winding halls of The Blackbird well enough to get around, but I didn't have any idea where I wanted to go. 

I thought about heading to visit San again, but some part of that felt like a dangerous thing to do. If I went to San, I knew things would escalate between us again, and as much as I didn't mind the idea of it, I knew it was something that could not be undone.

I could have perhaps gone to visit Yeosang, who would surely be back in his quarters in the infirmary by now. The idea was tempting, in that I wanted to talk about the things I'd found out about, but also I very much wanted to see him again. I always wanted to see him, but then again I always wanted to see all of them.

Finding Seonghwa was out of the question. He'd made it clear he needed time alone, and I didn't want to push him any further than he could handle. I knew he was exhausted, and also somewhat hurt by finding out about San and I in such a way. And besides, I didn't know which room was his yet. I didn't exactly want to knock on doors just to find him.

The only other person I knew how to find without searching the ship from stem to stern was Hongjoong, but that too was a dangerous thing. There was such an electric pulse between us whenever we were alone, and I didn't trust myself not to cross a boundary. The boundaries I'd unknowingly laid for myself without fully understanding why.

"I can't just stand in the hallway all night," I groaned, pushing myself off the door with a huff. 

Not really knowing where else to go, I started walking toward the stairs that led to the upper deck. I made my way up the stairs silently, poking my head out to see if anyone was lingering on the deck. Unsurprisingly, I couldn't see anyone around, and so I made my way up fully.

Stepping onto the deck proper, I took a deep breath, filling my lungs with fresh ocean air. By now the sun had dipped low enough in the sky that the only remaining indication of it was a small stripe of orange along the horizon line, which inevitably reminded me of Mingi. 

I wondered idly what The Goldfinch was up to, even considering calling out his weird catchphrase in the hopes of summoning him to my side, but I thought better of it. I needed some time to myself, to digest all of the wild and strange things I'd been through on this strange day.

Striding across the deck, I headed towards the foremast, stepping around it carefully with a narrowed gaze. I didn't exactly have luck with masts after all, and even though it wasn't mainmast, I wasn't going to chance it. I headed toward the forecastle, taking the small set of stairs that lead up to the forecastle deck.

Moving toward the right side of the deck, I let myself lean over the wooden railing to gaze into the water below. Even in the low light of sunset the crystalline water was dazzling, catching sparks of stray sunlight to ignite in an orange glow. I stood there for a long while, losing track of time as I watched the waves lick the side of The Blackbird and sorted through my messy thoughts.