Blackbird - ATEEZ Pirate!AU

A Memory Unlocked

I tremble,
They're gonna eat me alive.
If I stumble,
They're gonna eat me alive.

Can you hear my heart,
Beating like a hammer?

Help, I'm Alive,
My heart keeps beating like a hammer.
Hard to be soft, tough to be tender.
Come take my pulse,
The pace is on a runaway train.
Help, I'm alive, my heart keeps...

Beating like a hammer.
Beating like a hammer...

If we're still alive,
My regrets are few.
If my life is mine,
What shouldn't I do?
I get wherever I'm going,
I get whatever I need,
While my blood's still flowing,
And my heart's still,
Beating like a hammer.

"Help I'm Alive" - Metric

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I had barely set aside the spoon in my hand, the last grains of rice still being chewed in my mouth, when The Caladrius began adamantly shooing everyone away.

"Yeogiseo naga! Kkeojyeo! Out, the lot of you!" Yeosang was quick to his feet, moving swiftly to usher everyone else out of the room, hemming and hawing as they dragged their feet out the door. "And don't even think about looming outside the door, trying to eavesdrop, you rapscallions. I take doctor-patient confidentiality very seriously!"

All but slamming the door shut behind him, Yeosang flipped a small locking mechanism in place before turning around to sigh heavily. Crossing the floor gracefully, he reached for the tray on my lap, carefully plucking it up and setting it aside on the nearest end table.

"I apologize on their behalf for them being so feral today," Yeosang glanced down at me with warm eyes, a soft smile gracing his perfect features. "Truly, they don't mean any harm by it. They're just a rowdy bunch, and I think they were relieved to hear you'd woken up."

"Please, you don't have to apologize." I waved my hand between us, as if to waft away any apology he tried to offer. The way his nose crinkled near the nostrils when he softly laughed had me giddy, and I had to bite my cheek from squealing at how cute it was. In turn, I instead returned his easy smile. "Besides, it was a nice change from being basically comatose."

"That's certainly a positive outlook to have on the situation, madam. It's good to keep up those kinds of spirits about things like this." Yeosang moved to seat himself beside my bed, pulling out the chair Hongjoong had been sleeping in to. It seemed he wasn't as eager to get to the examination as he'd been previously alluding to, with how he leaned back in the chair to gaze at me. "Do you remember anything from your slumber, dreams, visions, the like?"

"I did dream, yes. I remember seeing lots of things, but," I frowned, recalling the heavy feelings I felt upon waking. Sighing heavily, I pressed on. "It's all very hazy, like I'm looking through a spyglass with a recently greased objective lens. Vague shapes and blurry colors, but mostly feelings."

"That is to be expected, sweetling," Yeosang nodded reassuringly, reaching out to pat my shoulder gently. "You've undergone a great amount of stress lately, and sustained injuries, albeit not physically." Lifting his hand from my shoulder, sighed softly before continuing.

"The amount of pain you clearly endured in the..." he paused, pursing his lips and narrowing his eyes in distaste as he chose his next words, "...incident with Jongho alone would be enough to cause some brain-body disconnect, even in the best circumstances. I can only imagine it would exacerbate your already compromised condition. It's highly possible your mind is trying to shield you from some sort of trauma, and undergoing more is only going to make it worse."

Trauma? Is that what happened to me?

"So, you're saying that the mind can simply choose to not allow you to remember things?" I breathed, furrowing my brows as I tilted my chin toward The Caladrius. "Is that why..."