delicate

44

I stared at her as she walked slowly in a circle. I could feel Kai's eyes on me. "What?"

"You know this could kill all of us, right?"

I looked at him. "I'm not even sure I'm doing this yet."

He sighed as he turned his body to face me. "Just let me take it from you. I can -"

"No. And if you try it anyway, we'll both die."

He looked over at Bonnie, then looked at me again. He didn't say anything. His eyes spoke for him. He doesn't want me to put my life on the line when he could. He's begging me to let him save me, but I can't. I wanted to reach out and hug him or touch him or get even just a little closer to him, but I can't.

"Evelyn," Bonnie called.

I took a second before making my way over to her. I stopped a few feet from her. She looked from the sky to my face. "I think this is about where it happened. I can feel it." She put her hands out in front of me, palm up. "I need you to trust me."

I put my hands in hers. "You mean to relive it, right?" She started to say something, but I interrupted. "I know it's in my head. I'll be fine."

She nodded once, forcing herself to believe me. She closed her eyes, and then I closed mine. Over the next few minutes, the memory played out like a movie. I was dragged to where I am now. Lilian and Joshua separate as the spell starts. Except this time, I can see the magic take over my body. It's almost like I'm encased in a bubble of dark light.

"Okay."

I opened my eyes, and she pulled her hands away. She looked unsettled. "What is it?"

She took a short breath. "They weren't trying to bring people back from the dead." She glanced over at Kai, who was walking closer. He stopped a few feet from us. "They were trying to destroy the prison worlds and bring everyone out of them." She looked at me again. "They were using you as an anchor to keep the bridge between the worlds stable."

I furrowed my brows, "But they didn't finish the spell?"

She looked afraid to speak. "They got far enough into the spell to make you the anchor."

I stared at her for a minute. "So if we do the spell, then..."

"The prison worlds collapse," Kai finished.

"And everyone in them dies," Bonnie added.

They're not innocent, or they wouldn't be in a prison world. "Do the spell."

She got a confused look on her face, "Evelyn, it's too dangerous."

I shook my head, "I don't want to die for those people."

"So you're making them die for you," Kai asked.

I looked at him, "I didn't choose to be attached to them."

"That's not the only risk you're taking," Bonnie added. "You could die along with them."

I looked at her, "That's a risk I'm willing to take."

"No. You're not dying."

I looked at Kai. "That's not your decision to make." I looked at Bonnie, "I can't live like this. You know that. If you won't do the spell, I'll find someone else, or I'll do it myself. Either way, I could die."

I could see how hard she was thinking about this. She glanced at Kai, then focused her attention back on me. She nodded once, agreeing. I breathed a sigh of relief.

"You realize this is suicide, right? You're actively trying to get yourself killed."

I turned to him. "It wouldn't be the first time."