Oceanside

Chapter 14

Silas

My hands carefully pinch the brittle yellow paper between my fingers, slowly turning the pages. Resting on my quartzite countertop was the dark brown leather of my family's Lycan book.

The book itself was nearly four centuries old. It had been passed down through my fathers side to the first heir. It had been passed around quite a bit since it was created however it always landed back in the same lineage.

The main section had the history of Lycans and where we strayed from wolves. It included all the experiences of shifting and any potential dangers. Most of those stemmed from other supernatural creatures. It also contained information about mates, something I desperately needed.

Things with Odette were going good, better than I expected. I expected her to reject me when I first asked her out, then again when I asked for another. Each time I went for the next step I half expected her to push away. I was happy to be wrong. I was happy that my insecurity about what I was didn't actually come true. I had always been considered intimidating, even to other wolves, and it scared me that she might see that. That I might scare her off. I was grateful for those fears to be fruitless.

With progress in mind I asked my father for our book so I might be able to keep things stable. I knew I was eager but it was coming from within, from my Lycan. It was stronger each time I saw her. I wanted to know how much to expect and how to make it easier for both of us. Rushing didn't do either of us any good.

My parents reaction was on par with what I thought it would be. They were excited that I found a mate. My mother had already asked three times to meet her. Odette could meet her and tell her she was in a vicious gang and my mother wouldn't care. She had already accepted her fully. I had to remind her a few times how slowly I was having to take things. It would be a while before Odette met them. My father wasn't quite as persistent but he was supportive in my need to investigate. Unfortunately they couldn't offer any help otherwise.

My parents weren't mates. They were both Lycans but weren't paired in that way. They loved each other, nearly equal to true mates, but it wasn't the same. The urges and emotions I had coursing through me weren't something my father could relate to. He always wanted my mother to be happy and safe, but not at this obsessive level.

I skimmed through the history, already knowing that since I was in grade school. What I was looking for was something much more valuable. I stopped when I saw the familiar scribblings throughout the pages.

Towards the back of the book it spoke about mates. Written in several spots were personal notes from a relative. He was long gone by now but it might be helpful.

Heat is a process in which the female wolf endures intense sexual urges during the first moon cycle upon meeting her mate.

I scanned past it. Odette wasn't a wolf. My eyes paused on a paragraph handwritten in towards the bottom.

When a Lycan is paired to a non-wolf mate heat occurs differently. This event will take place within the humans' natural ovulation cycle. The heat will not be experienced by the female, but rather her mate.

What?

The male partner will only experience the heat if he is within reach for the first notes of hormonal changes. The scent change will trigger the reaction. Symptoms will include possible temperature spikes, physical aches, and intense need to complete the mate bond. If unable to do so symptoms will only fade after the ovulation cycle is over.

Great so the entire time Odette is ovulating I would be insanely horny. I already had urges now to be closer to her, even to complete the bond but I thought I was doing well at holding back. This proved that was going to be a warmup.

I placed the book aside and picked up my phone, googling when a woman's ovulation cycle took place. The site said approximately fourteen days before her period. I clicked off my phone and tossed it on the book.

I had no idea when she would start her period nor would I know how to ask that. I probably wouldn't. That would weird her out. Plus with the information I now knew I had to avoid her for two weeks. Fucking wonderful.

I hated the thought of not seeing her for that long. Hated it more that I would have to come up with some stupid lie when the time came. I wouldn't trust myself enough to be around her. I wouldn't force her into anything but I didn't want to get in the position where I wasn't able to keep my usual composure around her. I would most likely be on edge the entire time and it wasn't fair to either of us.

I tried to think of how I could figure out when she would start to ovulate without asking. With the little knowledge I had I knew the women didn't all have it at the same time. I wouldn't even consider asking any of them either. That was weird.

I picked up my phone again and started googling signs that might help. Immediately I was horrified. Acne, sore breasts, drowsiness, cramping, nausea, bloating and the list went on. She experienced this before it even hit? I closed out of the site. What the hell.

The entire list didn't help me at all. Maybe I could notice if she was tired but that might not mean she was going to start soon. The rest she would have to tell me. I was not going to rely on the acne one, that could be from anything.

I put my phone down. It was a very real possibility that I would only find out by smelling her. Meaning I would definitely endure the heat but I would have to come up with an excuse after to get away from her. I knew mating would calm the heat and I wasn't going to do that. I didn't want to have sex because of some rushed thing and I didn't want to mate without her knowing about me. It was bad enough we were this close and she didn't know.

Mating was a huge deal in the werewolf species. It completes the bond that was formed between two souls. I wasn't going to do that without telling her first. Creating a connection like that shouldn't be kept hidden or be discovered after.

It was easy to conclude that I would have to tell Odette everything before that happened. Just at the thought I was anxious. It was entirely possible she would reject me then. If not for what I am but possibly at the thought that I was crazy. I mean how do you tell someone you turn into a wolf during a full moon? It wouldn't be something I'd want to show her either. Going off just my word would make me sound insane. For all I knew she didn't even know supernatural creatures existed, let alone believed they might.

I wasn't sure exactly how to work this out. I needed to find someone in the pack that has a human mate and maybe ask them. Hopefully they would be in a similar situation as Odette and not have known about wolves before their mate. Until then I would continue with my normal interactions.

And that was part of it. Despite the secret I was keeping, things did feel normal with her. Being with Odette was easy, effortless in most movements. When she'd suck me into a conversation or just smile in my direction everything else faded away. In those moments I wasn't a Lycan. I wasn't keeping this secret from her. I was just Silas, as if the Lycan part faded away completely. She made it easy to let everything fall away.

The dimming of the room pulled my eyes away from the book and to the window. Outside the sun was falling over the horizon. It would be dark soon. With darkness came the usual paranoia.

Was she safe?

Was my scent new enough to keep predators away? Supernatural or not.

Did she make it home on time?

The compulsive thoughts spun until I was getting up out of my seat. I knew they wouldn't stop until I answered each one of them. Some days it was easier to curb them. The days I saw her. But I hadn't seen her in two days so I was out the door before I could grab more than my keys.

My routine would be the same. One mile out. Then five. Two rings should be enough to keep anything from entering her area. I didn't leave until I caught a glimpse of her blowing out the candle on her table near the window.