Maddie is 17 and Kies twin. She is dating JJ
Maddy didn't know what was wrong with her. No one did. She has spent the last three years trying to figure it out and so far has no answers. Until then pain management was her only option. There were good days and there are bad days. On a good day Maddie's fever would only reach 100. On a bad day it would leave her in a hospital bed.
She woke up feeling like she got hit by a bus and knew it was going to be a bad day. It was four in the morning. She was sweaty and every muscle in her body was aching. Her throat felt like it was on fire and it hurt to swallow. She slipped out of her boyfriends arms and stumbled to the bathroom. She used the flashlight on her phone and looked in the mirror. Her throat was lined with bright red ulcers. She spit a mouthful of blood out hating the metallic taste. Tears pricked at her eyes. She hated it. Absolutely hated it.
For the last 3 years Maddie has been to so many doctors. So many different specialist, most she can't even pronounce. Gastroenterologist when she threw up after eating 90% of her meals, Rheumatologist when her blood work was off the charts, Orthopedist when her back hurt so bad she couldn't walk some days, ENT when her throat would swell shut and bleed. She had bruises lining her arms from getting her blood drawn so frequently and Iv lines from her trips to the ER when she couldn't keep her fevers under control. She hated what her life had turned into.
"Hey... Baby... What's going on?" JJ frowned from the doorway seeing the tears pouring down her cheeks. "I hate it." She whispers. "Hate what?" JJ questions wrapping his arms around her. "I hate feeling like this. I hate being like this." She whispers getting more upset. "What's your fever at?" JJ sighed tiredly rubbing his eyes but trying to wake up. "I don't know. High." She whispers before spitting out more blood. "Shit let me see." He says lifting her chin. "I'm fine." She whispers. "Let me see." He repeats sternly. She opens her mouth and he grimaced looking at the series of ulcers. "Can you breathe ok?" He questions wanting to make sure she didn't need medical attention. "Yeah." She mutters. "It just hurts." JJ pulled her into a hug pressing a kiss to the top of her head. "Why do you even want to be with me?" She whispers shocking JJ. "What?" He frowns seeing she was dead serious. "Why wouldn't I want to be with you?" He says pressing a kiss to the top of her head. "Because I'm broken. I'm sick, and I'm not getting better anytime soon. You can date someone who isn't in the hospital all the time and doesn't go to the doctors like 4 times a week. Someone who can have fun and go out with you everyday. Someone who can actually go to school. Someone who isn't going to just weigh you down." She says tears running down her cheeks. "You could never weigh me down Cupcake. And you're not broken. Not at all. I know what you are going through is horrible, and I wish I could take it all away but we are going to figure this out. And I will be by your side the entire time. Holding your hand every time they take your blood, sitting beside you in the hospital and going with you to every appointment. You're going to be ok Love." He soothes kissing her forehead. "What if I'm not? What if I don't get better?" She whispers. "I'm still going to be right here." He soothes not wanting to think about it. This entire process has been traumatic for everyone involved. Watching her suffer was horrible and it has been a steady decline but they refuse to accept that she isn't going to get better. "JJ... I don't want to die." She whimpered. "I know Cupcake. I don't want you to die either." He says voice cracking. "I'm just so tired of fighting. I'm exhausted all the time and I hurt all the time and I'm so tired of fighting just to be alive." She sobs. "I know beautiful. I just need you to keep fighting. I need you here with me. Can you promise me not to give up?" He pleads now crying himself. "I promise." She whispers. "I love you." JJ sighs pressing a kiss to her lips.
This story is kinda all over the place sorry. I'm giving Maddie my illness so everything she is experiencing I am experiencing and I'm struggling to write about it but writing is my therapy so just bear with me please.
