its best if you leave (pt. 2)

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i felt like doing a part 2 for this so here you guys go enjoyyyyyy

i woke up the next morning and everything that happened yesterday came flooding into my head. i sighed and got up out of bed. mom had her second show in dublin tonight but i wouldn't be attending. i wouldn't be going for a while. i went to the bathroom and saw how puffy and red my eyes were from crying last night. then i walked out of the bathroom and went to go sit on the couch. mom and travis were sitting at the table in the kitchenette.

"good morning baby how are you feeling?" mom said walking over to me. i just shrugged.

"i'm so sorry y/n...tree is gonna come to the room in the next few minutes" she said.

"why?" i asked.

"she's just gonna help me put a statement together" mom said moving some hair out my face.

"a statement? for what?" i asked.

"don't worry about it baby." mom said kissing my head.

"if it's about what happened yesterday please don't because it's just gonna make the situation worse" i said.

"why do you think it'll make it worse?" mom said rubbing my back.

"because there all gonna come for me for telling you and being upset about it" i said.

"baby please listen to me. they won't i promise. and if they do that's their problem..." mom said. i nodded against her chest.

"what do you guys want from room service for breakfast?" travis asked.

"uhhh i'll just take a bagel. y/n what do you want baby?" mom said.

"i don't want anything" i mumbled.

"y/n...baby you gotta eat okay?" mom said.

"i know but i don't want to" i said trying not to cry.

"hey baby it's okay don't cry." mom said rubbing my back. "trav just get her a bagel as well i'm gonna talk to her we'll be back" mom said as she helped me off the couch. we went into the room i was staying in.

"baby tell me what's wrong. what's going on through that head of yours?" she asked.

"i don't know...i just. i don't wanna eat. i don't wanna be made fun of anymore. at first i just pushed it off as nothing but now it's like everyday this happens. it's like the voices in my head are saying that they're right and that i do need to lose weight." i mumbled.

"y/n you are beautiful the way you are. you are not fat at all you are a healthy weight. i don't want you to go through what i went through..." mom said.

"what do you mean?" i asked.

"you might be too young to remember but when i was in the 1989 era i had an eating disorder..." mom said.

"what...really?" i said.

"yeah. i wasn't in any way proud of it but it started because of comments people were making about my body and i don't want that to happen to you. those days with the ed was living hell. i just want you to be happy with who you are." mom said. i nodded and tears started to fall down my face which my mom quickly wiped away.

"i'm sorry mom" i said.

"baby you have nothing to be sorry for. if anything i'm sorry that my fans are being like this towards you. but it's up to you if you want me to speak out about it. i'm not going to do it if you don't feel comfortable about it. if i do talk about it it's gonna be vague and you aren't going to be mentioned."

"you can do it. it's okay." i said sniffling.

"are you sure?" she asked and i nodded. then there was a knock on the door.

"hey guys the food is here" travis said.

"alright thanks trav. come on y/n" mom said.

"mom please i don't want to eat" i said.

"hey i'll be right there with you. it's okay" mom said. i nodded and we went to the kitchenette to eat our food.

a couple hours later it was time for mom to head to the stadium.

"y/n are you sure you don't wanna come?" she said walking into my room.

"i'm sure mom. have fun at your show" i said with a smile.

"i love you so much baby. i'm gonna go live on my account for surprise songs and i'm gonna say the speech before i play the song on piano" she said after she kissed my head.

"oh what are you gonna sing" i asked.

"it's a surprise" she said with a wink. we exchanged goodbyes and i said bye to travis as well and they headed off to the stadium.

taylors pov

it was now time for the piano surprise song and i was really nervous.

"so um before i play this next song i just wanna talk to you guys..." i said clearing my throat as the crowd cheers.

"and im very grateful for you guys cheering but this is a serious matter. in no way is it okay to EVER and i mean EVER comment on somebody else's appearance and tell them that they don't belong somewhere. all of you here know that i went through an eating disorder during the 1989 era and it was triggered by people commenting on my body. you guys were very supportive during that time and it breaks my heart to see you guys commenting on other people's appearances. i in no way am going to tolerate that. and im not trying to be a like a bitch or anything but if you're going to that at MY concert...don't show up. i want this to be a safe place for everyone. not a place for judgement." i said. then i started to play clean.

"ten months sober i must admit. just because your clean don't mean you don't miss it. ten months older i won't give in now that im clean i'm never gonna risk it...from sprinkler splashes to fireplace ashes i gave my blood sweat and tears for this. i hosted parties and STARVED MY BODY like id be saved by a perfect kiss. the jokes weren't funny i took the money my friends from home don't know what to say. i looked around in a blood soaked gown and i saw something they can't take away. cause there were pages turned with the bridges burned everything you lose is a step you to take so make the friendship bracelets take the moment and taste it you've no reason to be afraid...you're on your own kid. yeah you can face this. you're on your own kid you always have been. and i think i am finally clean" i sang with tears coming down my face. the crowd cheered and i just sat there for a moment to collect myself. i wiped my tears and stood up from the piano and dived into the stage.

after the show was over i ran to travis' arms crying and people were filming me.

"baby it's okay. shhh don't cry" he said hugging me and swaying us. "your speech was beautiful babe. let's get back to the dressing room" he said.

i tried to wipe my tears but they just kept coming so i just stopped trying. trav and i started to walk back to the dressing room.

we got back to the hotel and i went to go check on y/n she was asleep. instagram was left open so im guessing she saw the live.

"mom...?" she said groggily.

"yeah it's me. go back to sleep baby" i said moving some hair out of her face.

"thank you." she said.

"it's not problem y/n. it really needed to be said" i said.

"i saw you crying a lot while you were singing. are you okay?" she asked.

"don't worry about me baby. i'm okay i just emotional. hopefully this calms down the criticism" i said. y/n gave a small smile and then fell back asleep. i went back into trav and i's room and we both showered and went to bed.

the day she plays a mashup of yoyok and clean on piano is the day i die. hope you guys enjoyed!

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