daughter of taylor swift and travis kelce imagines

who's gonna hold you?

y/n age: 14

tw:// panic attack, self harm

here we are again at yet another event. great. people are always jealous of me because i get to go to these events but it's not all sunshine and rainbows. in fact i hate these events. tonight we are at the grammys and mom is nominated in a lot of categories for her new album, ttpd.

we stepped out the car and immediately met with flashes that are blinding me. i can't even see where im walking. i'm immediately overwhelmed and want to go back in the car and go home.

"here y/n hold on to my hand so we don't lose you" dad said. i gratefully took his hand and he led me through the crowd towards the red carpet. once we got to the red carpet i became really tense and quiet.

"you okay baby?" mom asked. i hesitated before nodding i didn't want her to worry.

"do you wanna walk the carpet? you don't have to if you don't want to. i know they overwhelm you." she said.

"i don't really want to walk it today. i'm sorry. it's just that i'm already so overwhelmed.." i said quietly.

"hey it's okay no worries. you can just stay here with tree it's no big deal." mom said with a smile. i nodded and stood with tree. i was still tense and anxious and i think tree noticed because she kept taking glances at me and she looked worried. it also didn't really help that i didn't really like the dress i was wearing. i feel like it made me look fat.

after mom and dad got off the carpet we met them on the other side and we headed to our table. we were joined by jack and margaret at our table. once we sat down i let out a sigh of relief. but it didn't last long when they said the cameras were going to start rolling and the show was going to start. i sat in between mom and dad because it made me feel better.

"you okay?" dad whispered in my ear.

"yeah i'm okay" i said with a little smile.

"you sure?" he asked and i nodded.

the show went by really slowly and i was dreading every second of it. mom ended up five grammys so that was nice for her. after the show we finally got to go back to the car and i was grateful for that. as soon as i sat down i still felt stressed and overwhelmed and i don't know why. i was sitting in the middle of my parents in the car. i leaned my head on my moms shoulder.

"you okay baby? i feel like somethings bothering you. what's on your mind?" she asked. i just shrugged.

"you can talk to us y/n" dad said.

"i know i just...don't really wanna talk about it right now.." i said. i tried my best to hide my tears but they came out followed by an involuntary sob.

"oh y/n. why are you crying baby?" mom asked.

"i'm fine" i said through a sob.

"you're obviously not fine y/n. tell us what's wrong sweetie.." dad said as he kissed my forehead and wiped my tears.

"i'm just stressed out and overwhelmed. i don't wanna talk about this anymore. i don't want to have a panick attack" i said. i was being such a baby crying over this. especially in front of my parents and the drivers. they probably think i'm ridiculous. i'm 14 years old i need to grow the hell up.

once we got home i ran into the house and up to my room.

"y/n wait. we need to talk." mom said.

"can i take a shower and change first?" i asked.

"yeah we'll be waiting when you're done" mom said.

"okay..." i mumbled. i really didn't want to talk. there was nothing to talk about. my feelings weren't valid they are stupid. i'm crying over stupid shit.

as soon as i go in my bathroom i make mistake of looking at myself in the mirror. i saw how i looked in the dress and i don't know how anyone would want to be seen with me. i looked huge in this dress. a few tears made their way down my cheeks. i hated how i looked.

i took off my dress and turned on the shower to warm up the water. i just stared at myself in the mirror again and my gaze fell on the eyebrow razor sitting on my counter.

"y/n don't do it..." i said to myself. "you're going to ruin you're progress and relapse" i muttered. i couldn't fight the urging voices in my head and i grabbed the razor sliced across my wrists. i forgot how good the pain felt. after 8 cuts on my wrist 4 on each i got in the shower. it stung but i deserved it. after i got out the shower i felt guilty for cutting again. i promised my parents i wouldn't again and it took them a while to trust me with blades again and i broke it. i quickly put a sweatshirt and shorts on and walked out my bathroom and my parents were sitting on my bed. they really meant what they said.

i walked fully out the bathroom and sat on the bed in between them. i felt so guilty.

"y/n do you wanna tell us what's going on? we know something's bothering you" dad said. i just sat there silently and i was panicking. they can't find out that i cut myself again. i tried to get control of my breathing but it wasn't working.

"y/n?" mom said as she tried to look at my face. i just sat there emotionless but i was hyperventilating and shaking but i couldn't snap out of it. it's like i was stuck. i heard them but i couldn't snap out of the attack.

"y/n breathe honey" dad said as he rubbed my back. then i took in a big breath.

"there you go" dad said. then i started sobbing. my mom and dad both wrapped me in their embrace.

"i'm sorry i'm sorry im so sorry" i said as i kept repeating it.

"sorry for what baby?" mom asked.

"i did something i shouldn't have..." i said.

"what did you do honey?" dad asked. i just looked in between them.

"you can tell us we won't be mad." mom said as she wiped my tears. i took a deep breath and slowly rolled up my sleeves revealing my fresh cuts.

"oh y/n" mom said. i just began to cry harder.

"hey it's okay y/n we're not mad" dad said.

"i'm so sorry" i said as i cried.

"hey it's okay" mom said.

"no it's not i broke our promise. i'm so stupid and i can't do anything right. i'm sorry. i'm so freaking stupid i don't know why i did that" i said as i cried.

"no y/n. you are not stupid okay? you're feelings are valid just talk to us" dad said.

"no my feelings are stupid. i dont deserve to share my feelings.." i said.

"yes you do baby. please talk to us so we can help you." mom said as she kissed my forehead.

"if i'm being honest i don't know what's wrong with me. i just feel worthless all the time. i hate the way i look. i just want it all to stop. i just want to feel okay. i don't know why every inconvenience makes me wanna cut i don't know. and i feel so useless when i resort to it. i just can't make it stop" i said.

"we understand baby. that's why we're here to help you. maybe we talk more about it in the morning when you're rested?" dad said. i nodded.

"can you stay here until i fall asleep?" i ask.

"yes but first i need to clean and bandage those cuts" mom said as she got up to get the things she needed. she came and cleaned my cuts carefully. then i laid down in my bed with each of my parents on my side.

"just because you're clean, don't mean you don't miss it"

i clowned so hard for the 100th show for the eras tour. but her speech before all too well made me cry🥹