Shadow | Huang Renjun

39

Anxious, Eunah's fingers drum against her thigh, bottom lip bitten a dark pink. She goes over the speech she prepared in her head, having arrived at the agreed meeting spot in the park over an hour early.

After waiting all day yesterday, she got a response to her message about wanting to talk.
No one was free until this evening, which is both a blessing and a curse. She didn't have to talk to them at university, where anyone could eavesdrop, but she also had to wait an agonisingly long time, only feeling worse throughout.

The bench she picked is getting uncomfortable, thanks to phantom tickling sensations all over her legs– from the jangling nerves threatening to physically manifest as vomit.
She tries her best to ignore the feeling, beginning to bounce her legs in an attempt to disguise it.

Her heart jolts at the sound of a text notification, clammy hands snatching her phone from her purse.

Yeon 🖤

gonna tp now babe

hope youre okay

Mhm

Eunah takes a deep breath, letting it out just as a swirl of dark smoke appears a few metres away. Once it clears, she frowns at the sight of those walking over.
Miyeon and Donghyuck, but no Renjun.

Upon reaching her, the couple smile warmly and offer a group hug, which doesn't really help as much as they might've intended.
They notice her looking around, Donghyuck pursing his lips before explaining.

"He said he had something important to do," he informs, seeming confused himself.
"Not sure what, though. Jisung said hello, by the way."

"Oh, um– right..."

The Angel stares down at the grass, what little confidence she had now shattered.
Worried, Miyeon and Donghyuck exchange a look before sitting down in front. They both place hands on top of her shaking ones, trying to calm her with soft rubs over her strained-white knuckles.

"What did you want to talk about?" Miyeon asks gently, leaning down to catch her friend's gaze.

"I..."
She hesitates, feeling her stomach bubble up again.

"It's okay, we've got lots of time."

"I was... I was originally supposed to spy on you guys for the Angels..."

The two noticeably withdraw, which causes her to shrink in on herself with arms folded over her stomach and tears pricking in the corners of her eyes. Her nose stings with guilt, a hard lump in her throat when she tries to swallow.
She sniffs, using the side of one hand to rub away the tears beginning to fall.

"I– I know I should've told you sooner, but– but I kept forgetting, or– or something happened that got in the way, and– and I never wanted to spy in the first place, but I thought that– I thought Mark and Jeno would hate me and leave, and–"

"Hey... slow down..." Donghyuck interrupts, his hand now carefully reaching for her shoulder.
"We're not angry, just... surprised."

Eunah looks up, just managing to make out their kind faces through the blur of tears. Her bottom lip quivers, bitten so much it looks as though it might start to bleed.

"You– you're not?"

Miyeon shakes her head, chiming in.
"Of course not. We know you, Eunie. You wouldn't have done it if you didn't feel like you had to. You're not that kind of person."

"But– but I did..."

"Did you want to?"

"No, of course not–"