Shadow | Huang Renjun

40

Renjun is back. Kind of.
It took another day, but he's back at university for the most part.

The only issue is that Eunah has barely seen him at all. It's like the first couple months all over again, with him avoiding or ignoring her whenever she's nearby.
Jeno too, although they were only just comfortable with each other beforehand.

Completely baffled, she tried asking Miyeon, Donghyuck, and even Jisung after Donghyuck gave her his number. With the Archdemon's permission, of course.
None of them know what's going on.

Even if Eunah hadn't asked to talk to him about the spying herself, they wouldn't have had the opportunity to say anything about it.
He's been uncooperative the entire time, staying in his room with the door locked unless necessary, and disappearing off to some random place in Hell to 'think'.

Satan told them to leave him be, when they asked for an audience about it. He's been keeping an eye on him, and he just seems upset for some reason. 'Nothing to be alarmed about'.

Confused and hurt, Eunah spent the entire day wondering what she did wrong, wondering if he found out on his own somehow and assumed the worst.

She's now standing on the stone bridge in the park, leaning against the short wall to watch the water below ripple alongside a warm, summer breeze. She exhales softly, running fingers through messy, loose hair that she couldn't be bothered to tie up today.

From the corner of her vision, she spots a familiar swirl of dark smoke– turning to find Renjun stalking off in the opposite direction. Her eyes light up, body shifting before she can think, and she runs after him.

"Jun!" the Angel calls, causing him to stop.
"Jun, can we– can we talk?"

A little tired, she pauses to breathe as he turns fully towards her. His eyes are bloodshot, cheeks stained pink with noticeable tear marks. She tilts her head, eyebrows furrowing in concern.

"Jun, what's–"

"Don't call me that," he mutters, his own sad frown deepening.

"I don't understand–"

"I said, don't fucking call me that!" he repeats, much louder this time.
"Angels don't get to call me that!"

There's a stabbing sensation in her chest at his words, heart aching to learn why he's acting this way. Tears begin to prickle in the corners of her eyes, the familiar stinging sensation in her nose and churning in her stomach.

"Did I do something to you...?" she manages to croak out, reaching to wipe the first tears to escape.

Renjun scoffs.
"Don't act stupid! You know damn well what you did, you fucking liar!"

"Wh– I'm not acting! I don't understand!"

"You fucking lied to us– to me!" he emphasises, his own eyes welling with tears.
"You've been working for them this whole time, haven't you?! Giving them all our information, like the rat that you are!"

Her startled yet guilty look all but confirms this for the Demon, who pulls a face of utter disgust at the woman he thought was safe to love. When she opens her mouth to reply, he interrupts.

"Don't bother explaining yourself. I've learned all I need to know."

"But I haven't been!" she shouts, desperate for him to listen.
"I was supposed to, but I– I haven't in months! As far as Mark knows, we're still stuck on that first riddle!"

"Liar! How the fuck am I supposed to believe you, when you couldn't even come to me about this yourself?!"

"I tried!"
Her voice is hoarse already, hard lumps in her throat every time she swallows.
"That's what I wanted to talk to you all about a few days ago! You weren't there, so I told Yeon and Hyuck that I wanted to tell you myself when you were free again!"

"Even if you did, that's still way too late!" Renjun argues, his own stomach bubbling with anger and nausea.
"I was right from the start! Don't trust any fucking Angels!"

"I'm sorry, okay?!" Eunah sniffs.
"I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner, I should have! But why won't you listen–"

"I don't listen to fucking liars, Eunah!"

"I'm not lying!"

"Miyeon and Hyuck might've believed your pathetic little excuses, or fallen for the tears, but I can assure you I won't! You fucking disgust me!"

Every time he opens his mouth, the words that come out pierce her like a harpoon gun, making the same hole in her heart bigger each time.
She staggers back, hand clutching her stomach for fear of vomiting over the lush grass. Ringing grows louder in her ears, making her dizzier with each passing second.

Not noticing in the slightest, Renjun continues to yell.
"I fucking hate you!"

"I'm sorry–"

"I don't want your pathetic apologies, I want my trust back!"

"I didn't– please–"

She places a hand on a nearby tree to steady herself, close to collapsing.

"I never should've let myself fall in love with you!"

Her whole world stops, vision fading back in for just a moment to find his enraged yet embarrassed expression directed towards her. Trying to steady her breathing, she stares back.

"You– you love me...?"

The Demon throws his hands up in frustration, further irritated by her obliviousness.
"Of course I fucking do! Are you blind or something?!"

"No, I– I just thought–"

"Thought what? That I hug and hold hands with all my friends?! Be fucking real!"

"I–"

"Doesn't fucking matter, anyway."
He cuts her off, seeming more embarrassed now than anything else.
"You like some other bastard, and you fucking betrayed us."

"You– you overheard me talking to Chenle..." she mumbles, realising what she saw that day wasn't a bird.

"Yeah, I fucking did!"

"That's why you were so upset..."

"I'm starting to think you're just fucking stupid."

Her gaze lowers to the floor, brows deeply creased and bottom lip quivering as she tries to nibble it for comfort. Renjun scoffs, rolling his eyes and turning away.

"No, wait–" she calls, him pausing but not facing her.
"I– we were talking about– about you..."

"Nice try," he retorts, much quieter than before. "I'm not falling for that shit."

"I'm not– I'm not lying!" the Angel insists.
"It's just a really big decision to make, so I wanted– I wanted to be completely sure it was real first. I didn't want to say anything and possibly ruin our lives, all for something I didn't know was real or not."

"Either way, you still don't feel the same. This is a waste of time."

"I do feel the same! It just– took me a little while to figure that out..."

He turns back towards her, anger fizzling down to disappointment.
"It's too late, Eunah. If you'd told me a week ago, I might've been happy about it. But now I know who you really are, so what's the fucking point?"

"Wh– Renjun–"

"Don't bother. Just leave me the fuck alone."

Eunah lets him walk away this time, shaky legs finally giving in as she drops to her knees– palm scraping down the bark of the tree. She lurches forward, coughing and spluttering amidst heavy breaths– a stinging liquid rising up her throat.

Tears mix with sweat, which drip onto the grass while she retches until a pool of vomit is forced from her mouth.
Trembling, she grabs her bag and blindly shoves her hand in for her phone– calling the first number she can find.

~~~~

Well, shit.