The Bikers Sin. The Sinful Riders Book One

troubles

Gin had successfully avoided her neighbour, Cody, for the last week.
It was a good job that her work could be done from home. Otherwise, she was sure that she would run into him. And she knew if she ran into him, she would only be able to look at one thing.
Maybe she should move?
Beth was no help at all. Whenever she heard movement outside the door, she would rush over to see if she could catch a glimpse of the 'fine specimen' as she put it. Then she was in her ear telling her that she should ask for a ride, just to make sure she still knew how to do it.
As if you could forget that!
"You need to move forward. All you are doing is hiding in your apartment. Like some kind of hermit." Beth had said, she was getting frustrated with her. But how could she act as if she wasn't gawking at his very large dick?
And then there was Griff!
His message about talking when she was ready still sat unanswered. She couldn't talk with him yet. Beth had been right in that regard. She would just roll over for him, and she didn't want to. She wanted to be strong and know her mind first, not letting her feelings lead the way.
What he had done was wrong and hurtful,  and so far, apart from knowing he did wrong,  he hasn't shown that he has grown much at all. Let alone taken responsibility for his actions.
She really wanted to talk with Priest, but something had happened,  and he had gone silent on her. Not without letting her know that it wasn't her, of course, but something had happened to the woman he loved. And she rightfully took priority.
So she wasn't going to bother him.
Burn,  however, had found out that she knew he knew about Griff and Mags and had been trying to avoid her.
She supposed it was due to his guilt over not telling her. She had tried to tell him that she had understood why he hadn't, but he just wouldn't listen.
She was contemplating what she could do with the man, when there was a sudden knock on her front door, causing her thoughts to freeze. "Gin. You're gonna have to get it." Beth called from the bathroom.
Sighing, she stood and walked to the door, checking to see who it was. Burn stood there with his arms braced against the frame, panting as if he had run a marathon.
Quickly pulling the door open, she asked him, "What is it?"
"Gin, I...I saw..." He looked up at her. And she saw the haunted look in his eyes that she had seen there only once before.
"Come in. Beth is still here, but we can talk if you need to." She took his arm and led him over to the breakfast bar, then got him to sit on a stool. "Do you need something to drink?"
He shook his head, but she could see he was trembling all over, so she handed him a beer and went off to wait for Beth. He wouldn't want to talk right now, not if he knew someone else was here.
As she waited for Beth, she picked up her phone, debating who to call. Finally, she settled on Griff, whilst she wasn't ready to talk to him fully yet. She was also aware that very few people knew about Burns' past.
"Gin? You alright?" His voice sounded a bit groggy, almost as if she had woken him. She belatedly realised that he was recovering, so he may have indeed been asleep.
"Oh, um, yeah, I'm ok. But Burn is here, somethings wrong. Can you get someone to come get him? Someone who knows about, you know?"
It was silent for a moment, then "Reaper might be in the area, let me check. If not, I'll call someone else. How bad is it?"
"Not too bad, but he might just be holding it together because Beth is here."
"Right, I'll try and get someone there within half an hour. Can you handle him for that long?"
"Yeah, I should be able to."
He was silent before he said, "Okay. I'm gonna go get this sorted then. I really miss you, Gin."
"I'm still not ready to talk yet."
"I know. I don't blame you. Take as long as you need."
"Thank you, Griff, bye."
Well, that was surprisingly easier than she had thought it would have been. But then again, Burn took precedence over them at the moment.
She turned just as Beth came back towards the bathroom. When she had left, Gin had no idea, but judging by the concerned look on her face, she would guess that she had seen their guest in the kitchen.
"What's wrong with him?" She whispered.
Gin sighed and looked over at the vulnerable mountain of a man, "I can't tell you much, but he suffers from a sort of  recurring depression. And he can get quite, how do I put it, stuck? Hmm, yeah, stuck in his own mind with the memories. Sometimes they aren't that bad, but others..." she trailed off, not wanting to scare her friend.
"Does he get violent?"
"No, he shuts down, and very few people can handle him when he does. I called Griff," she held her hand up, knowing Beth was about to rant. "He knows Burn the most. And he will know who to trust with him."
Beth nodded and looked back at Brun. "Do you think he needs anything?"
"Nothing we are able to give him, unfortunately." She sighed. Her phone buzzed him her hand. Griff was calling her back. "Hello?"
"Reaper is at your door. He doesn't wanna knock, just in case."
"That's fine, I'll let him in now. Thanks, Griff."
She hung up before he could say anything else and went to open the door.
"Hey, Ginny girl, where is he?" She pointed over to him and noticed that Beth was there stroking his back. Something that he wouldn't let most people do. "Thanks. I'll get him home."
"Thanks, Reaper."
She stood there and watched until they were out of sight. Then, she closed her door and turned sad eyes to Beth.
"Will he be okay?"
"After a while, he will be better. But I don't think he will ever truly be ok."
Why is everyone's life so full of troubles?

Griff had been sitting in a booth at the clubhouse, dozing off, when Gin called.
He was disappointed that she hadn't called to talk, but understood why she did call him. Very few people knew about Burn and his past. Gin knew only a small amount of what the man had gone through.
Griff knew everything, but he would never tell anyone, let alone her.
A commotion at the door had him on alert until he saw Reaper guiding Burn towards the stairs.
He sighed in relief that his friend was back. When he got like this, they just  told everyone he was drunk. It was better for him to say that rather than have to explain how damaged the man truly was.
He was about to get up and go after them when a woman sat down next to him. She was closely followed by several other women. He sighed again, this time in frustration. These women were all ol' ladies and had been giving him a hard time since they had heard what a prick he had been.
They had also helped him to realize that he may need help. More than talking with them could do.
"So, dickhead, seen the cunt lately?" The most outspoken of the bunch, Pearl, asked.
"No."
"Oh? Thought you would have, given how much you loved to before." Mavis said.
He didn't say anything to that. He wasn't sure where his mind had been for those two months, or afterwards when he was trying to justify everything.
"Nothing to say?" Mavis snipped. "No trying to justify your prickishness? No saying 'she forced me to'?" By her tone anyone could tell that she was pissed, even after all this time.
He looked around at the women sitting with him. They hadn't spent any time with Gin when he had been seeing her, but they had taken to being her champions ever since shit came out.
But of all of them only one hardly said anything. That was until now.
"Griff," Angel started, shocking everyone into silence. She never spoke in anything but whispers, but now she was practically yelling. He gave her his full attention. "Why did you do such a horrible thing?"
He sucked in a deep breath. "At first it was fun, ya know, sneaking around. Having a secret. But when I started feeling things for Gin, I don't know."
"You are aware that you played with her emotions from the start, right?" She asked.
"I didn't see it like that. I believed what Mags had told me. That I was cheering her up."
"And now? How do you feel about what you did now?" Had she studied to be a shrink or something? Why was she asking these questions?
"Now," he said, since he got out of hospital, he had decided that unless it was club business, he wasn't gonna lie to anyone again, even by omission. So he gave her the truth. "I realize that Mags had played me. She had convinced me to hurt Gin and got me believing that it was a good thing we were doing."
Angel sighed, "No, Griff. You weren't played. You wanted Mags, got turned down by her, then accepted anything she had said coz you still wanted her." He looked at her, shocked. How did she know that Mags had rejected him before she came to him with her idea?
Mavis sneered, "What did you think that she didn't brag about turning you down? She fucking laughed about it!"
Angel shot her a look before turning back to him. "Griff. What you did was hurtful, but you still can't tell anyone why you kept doing it, can you?"
He knew why he had kept going back. He just didn't want to admit it to anyone. He looked down at the beer he had been nursing since Gins call, still half full. Taking a deep breath he admitted, "She was too good for me. Way smarter than me. She didn't seem to need me for anything."
"That wasn't true, Griff." Pearl said quietly. "She needed you! We may not have spoken to her, but we saw the way she looked at you. And most women would kill to be able to look at someone like that."
"I think your own insecurities made you make bad choices." Angel said. "It might be time to talk to a professional."
His head snapped up at that, and he looked at her in accusation. He wasn't insecure! Was he?
Did he truly need to get help from a head doctor?