The Bikers Sin. The Sinful Riders Book One

Decision made

Gin was waiting for the knock she knew was coming, so when it happened she didn't jump out of her skin like every other time.

"Hey, Gin what's up?" Beth asked, as soon as she entered the room.

She motioned for her to take a seat on the end of the bed, and took a deep breath, "Beth I can't make the decision about Mags and those men. I want you to take over."

She watched as Beth just stared at her in silence. After what felt like a life time, she said, "No, I can't do that Gin." And before she could say a word to convince her, Beth continued. "It didn't happen to me. I didn't suffer through the sick plans she concocted in that fucked up brain of hers. I didn't have to hear what that bastard had planned either. So I can't pass judgement on them. I wish I could, I wish I could just tell the guys to tear them all apart but that isn't for me to decide. That's for you, and you alone, to decide. If I were to do it and you didn't like the decision I made then you would come to resent me, and I wouldn't be able to live with that."

She couldn't believe that her best friend had said that, Beth knew that she couldn't make a decision like that, that she wouldn't have the heart to do it, normally. She started to pace in front of Beth, not knowing how she could convince her to do it.

"Gin, I want you to tell me exactly how you feel about it all." Her steps faltered but she didn't stop. She couldn't, she needed the movement to keep her grounded.

"I'm scared, Beth." She said after a second. "All I see when I close my eyes is the manic look in her eyes as she slapped me and told me what she had thought I had done to her. All I can hear is when he asked if he could do certain things to me when he got a hold of me. I'm scared all the time and I cant stop blaming myself for Reapers death. I just want it to stop. Please Beth, make it all stop." She sobbed.

Beth shot to her feet and pulled her into her arms, holding her tightly as she sobbed. "I can't sweetie. I wish I could, but I can't." She was silent for a moment as she held her, before she said. "But we all know some people who can make them all disappear." She fell silent again, she didn't want to think about anything but being held. "Gin, I want to you to not think about anything I just want you to answer my next question right away, okay?"

She nodded, still sobbing, although they had slowed down a little.

"Do you want Mags to stay alive?"

"No." She was shocked at the conviction in her own voice. She should want to have her committed, to try and get her the help that she so desperately needed. But she truly didn't want her to live any more, if she was going to be completely honest with herself.

But could she really sentence someone to death? Could she sentence multiple people to death, just because they had hurt her? But if she didn't they would hurt more people, wouldn't they?
She thought about everything that Mags had done to her, all the lies, betrayals, trying to sell her to a monster whose only desire was to cause her pain. 

"I do want her dead." She finally admitted. "I want them all dead. I want the world to be safer without them in it. I want it to be as if they had never existed, especially her. She killed Reaper. She was supposed to kill me but she killed him, instead. He was a sweet old man who had lost so much, he didn't deserve to go out like that. I hate her."

Beth pulled back and looked into her eyes. "Gin, sweet, you know what you just did, right?"

She just stared at Beth, not really understanding the question.

"You vented. Griff said all you have done is cry, but you just let your emotions out for the first time to someone that isn't paid to keep silent about what you say to them. Telling me you want her dead for all she has done. That you want them all dead. This is a good thing."