"Here's your lunch. Did you pack everything else?" Freen says as she approaches the little girl who is putting the reminder of her books into her backpack.
"I did." Lyra says hesitantly.
"What's wrong honey?" Freen asks as she ducked herself to the little girl's level.
"I miss mummy's cooking." Lyra says with profound sadness.
"Ouch! Are you saying I'm a terrible cook?" Freen pouted while looking at Lyra pretending to be hurt.
"You know I didn't mean it like that." Lyra exclaims.
Freen couldn’t help but slightly pinch the little girl’s cheek, causing her to scrunch her nose adorably, "I know honey."
"Where is she?" Lyra asks with a hopeful look. One that breaks Freen's heart.
Freen couldn’t bring herself to tell the truth and risk shattering her little girl's heart. To be honest she had no idea when their life had turned into this nightmare. Or maybe she did. Becky was pushing her away, even Lyra and she had little to no clue as to how to bring her back. How to help her? Where will she even start from? From the four year old who got her heart broken for the first time? She doesn't know.
"She wasn't feeling well last night. She probably slept in." Freen lies.
"You don't have to lie. I'm not a little girl anymore. I know what is happening." Lyra says.
Freen winced internally, "Lyra..."
"Please don't try and make excuses. I know mummy no longer sleeps with you in your bed. I also saw the empty bottles, she is drinking herself to sleep these days, isn't she?"
Freen falters unable to form any words. How was she going to explain something she barely even understood? Freen knew Becky had a lot of pent up emotions. And now all of it, all at once had rushed to the surface and she is clearly struggling having no idea how to deal with any of those.
"Your mother is going through a lot, we have to understand that."
"I'm trying. I'm giving her space. But I miss her Mami." Lyra says on the verge of tears.
Freen tries to keep her own tears at bay.
"I know love, I miss her too." She says pressing a kiss to her forehead and holding Lyra close.
"I'm scared." Lyra mumbles into Freen's shoulders.
Freen pulls back looking at her, "About what?"
"I don't want to lose you like I lost daddy." Lyra says sobbing.
Freen reaches out to wipe her tears away, "Oh honey why do you think that?"
"What if you get tired and break up with her? What if you leave like everyone else?" A series of sobs erupts from the little girl and Freen could no longer hold hers.
"I'm not going anywhere love. I love your mummy so much to just give up on her." Freen says swallowing her own sobs.
"Promise me something Mami." Lyra pleads.
"Anything love." Freen says cupping her cheeks and smiling at her.
"Promise me you will help her. Promise me we will get her back. I want her back Mami." Lyra cries as she wraps her arms around Freen, "I promise love."
********************
Becky woke up to a pounding headache which seems to be her usual companion these days. She regrets drinking as soon as she wakes up and yet she falls back into the same routine every night. She had no idea how else to numb the pain.
Becky had created a mask all these years, perfecting it as time went by. This care free, impulsive side of Becky was something she created so as to escape the reality. She was too afraid to let anyone in. She ran away, she slept with people here and there, all for the same reason. She never let anyone close not until Saint. A part of that was because Becky knew no matter what, Saint would never be able to give himself to her fully either. Because he had another life. And she let her guard down. That was a mistake. She is in this mess because she let him in. She shouldn't have. Then she wouldn't have met Freen. But wasn't meeting her one of the best parts of her life? The top of the list being Lyra. Her daughter. Her bundle of joy. She can't imagine her life without Lyra.
Becky walks to the kitchen to get herself a glass of water to swallow the aspirin down.
"You are awake." Freen's sudden voice startled Becky. "Shit!" She curses wincing and rubbing at her temple feeling the sharp pain coming back in, "Please don't do that."
"What am I doing, Becky?" Freen scoffs crossing her arms over chest and shooting her a glare.
"That. Keep your voice down. My head is killing me." Becky says walking towards the coffee machine to put it on. She is in desperate need for caffeine.
"And whose fault is that?" Becky doesn't answer, not wanting to fight. She had no energy for this.
"Are you even listening to me?" Freen says grabbing Becky's arm to get her attention.
"What do you want?" Becky spat.
Freen looks at her defeated and Becky feels terrible, she wishes the ground could swallow her down in that moment, "Do you even remember you have a daughter?"
Becky turns away from Freen unable to answer,
"Becky!" Freen calls her angrily.
"I'm sure you already sent her to school." Becky tries to be nonchalant.
"Of course I did. No thanks to you." Freen says scoffing.
"She's your daughter too." Becky retorted.
"That doesn't mean everything, Becky. She needs us both. I can't just fill up the gaps you leave in her life." Freen's voice cut through the air like a blade, her tone sharp and cold.
"I'm here, aren't I?" Becky shot back, forcing herself to lock eyes with Freen.
Freen sighs, "Are you though, Becky? Are you really here?"
Freens scoffs shaking her head, "Do you know our daughter is scared? Scared that I'm going to leave her like Saint did."
Becky looks at her incredulously, "Why would she think that?"
"Can't you see what is happening here?" She says gesturing between them, "We are falling apart, Becky. She thinks that I'm going to break up with you." Her voice cracked with anguish, her eyes clouded with unshed tears.
Panic flashed across Becky's eyes, "Are you?"
"We can't look at each other, talk to each other, even stand each other's presence for longer than a minute without getting into an argument. How are we going to make it?" Freen says tears streaming down her face, Becky's heart shattering with resentment.
Becky reached out, her hand trembling, but Freen recoiled. "To be honest I'm tired, Becky." Freen says as she turn and walks away.
Becky's body trembled with the effort to hold back her tears as Freen left, leaving her utterly alone.
What is stronger than the human heart which shatters over and over again and still lives?
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FanfictionUpon her husband's death, Freen discovers that he was leading a double life, one with another woman, Becky. She secretly befriends Becky, to uncover how the affair started and what really happened the night he died. But things don't go as planned. A...
