Shameless, Only For Him

Thirteen

Dhana Lakshmi

"Dhana Lakshmi...that's a beautiful name," I stare coldly at the vibrant psychiatrist, Mr. Vignesh. Puvi left me alone in this cabinet after exchanging some silent words with the doctor.

"...are you flirting with me?" I quirk one of my eyebrows and my word seems to have caught him by surprise as he shatters into a throaty laugh.

"No, we don't do that with our patients, Dhana Lakshmi," he says with a smile while I roll my eyes at him.

"How is your life at present, Dhana Lakshmi?" He questions, turning a bit serious. "I don't want to answer," he quietly gazes at me and then continues, "I know you're compelled to be here and it's hard to share things openly with a stranger. However, Dhana Lakshmi, I'm your doctor and whatever you spill to me, remains between us. I would be pleased to help you in any way I could, but I want you to cooperate," I rest my hands on the table and narrow my eyes at the doctor.

"You would do anything to help me?" I put a smile on my face as I query him. He nods, seeming pleasant.

"I've been in love with Puvi for years doctor but he never showed any interest in me. Can you give me any ideas to make him fall for me?" The doctor takes in my words with a sharp look and answers thoughtfully.

"...Dhana Lakshmi, have you proposed to him?" I nod my head busily.

"What did he say?" I sadly sigh as I respond, "He says he's in love with someone else doctor. But can you even imagine not kissing the person you've been in love with for more than five years!? He's crazy. He doesn't even what love is," he gleams at me and softly questions.

"And Dhana Lakshmi knows what love is?" Of course, I do. "Yes, it is when you're attracted to their personality. It is when, even flawed, they appear to be the most beautiful thing in this whole world to us. It is when you get possessive when they steer their interest to someone else. It is when you can't see them in pain. It is when you want to keep them happy and cared for. It is when their life seems more important than ours," he jerks his head, appreciatively.

"You are right, but there's something you have missed," I peer at him, a little annoyed. "Whatever you've described is relevant only when the person you're in love with reciprocates it. If not, it isn't love. It's called admiration," I frown at him.

"It's a complicated subject, Dhana Lakshmi. But when Puvi has someone else in his life, the right thing to do is move on from him," I shake my head at him.

"You don't get it, doctor! Puvi is not in love with his girlfriend. Why don't anyone fucking gets me!?" I raise my voice instinctively. "Calm down Dhana Lakshmi. I do understand your perspective. Let's take it slow," I don't have the patience to listen to this man. The only way I can get out of here is by agreeing with him.

"Go ahead, doctor," I sit comfortably on the chair and cloak on a placid look on my face. He regards me keenly and utters with a gentle smile, "You are not going to pay attention to me henceforth, are you?" Why in the world does he always have this smile on his face?

"Right! I'm glad you're smart enough to take the hint," I stand on my foot as I speak up.

"Come back here when you're willing to," he mutters composedly and doesn't react when I unlock the door and walk out.

Puvi, who was seated on the chair outside, approaches me when he notes my presence.

I watch him with a painful expression and move past him hurriedly. "Dhana! Wait!" I don't. He's hurt me beyond repair. The despair my heart feels at the moment, I can't describe it in phrases.

"Dhana," I increase my pace as I saunter out. After what he's done, it's proved that he will never even consider giving me a chance. And this means, it's time to implement the last option.

I hope I don't die. No, I'm sure I won't. If I perish, how could I live with Puvi happily?

Yet it was scary.

I pause at the entrance of the hospital and look at the vehicles moving past me with apprehension. If I run in front of huge ones, I'm definitely going to lose my life. The smaller ones don't guarantee my existence either.

Perhaps, this is a bad idea.

Thus, I'll just hint at what I would do If Puvi didn't love me.

"Dhana!" He halts behind me. With glassy eyes, I turn to him. "You won't love me, right? Then I've no choice but to die, Puvi. I find no point in living when you don't love me as I do," Puvi's features become harsh at my words.

He's understood.

"Dhana, don't you da--" I took off and was about to step into the road and jump in front of a vehicle, but I knew Puvi would hold me back before I could do so. And just as I anticipated, he heaves me back at the right time.

What I didn't expect was the searing slap he landed on my cheek.

"What the fuck is wrong with you!?" His aggression had me blink up at him in fear. Some people had diverted their attention to me and I felt humiliated.

"You think I would love you If you try these stupid stunts!? Seriously Dhana? Don't you have anything up in here?" he points to his head and glares down at me.

I'm not used to this side of him. He's never become this mad at me.

"Puvi..." I whimper as tears fall from my eyes. He tries to control himself as he gazes at my pathetic state but he is still very much occupied by wrath.

"Come," he catches my wrist tightly and guides us to the parking lot.

He appeared terrifying when he ordered me to hop on the bike.

I was genuinely frightened when he drove the bike at high speed.

But the crazy side of me found his angered condition attractive and imagined some angry sex. Yet I was sane enough to know that it's inappropriate to think those at present. The slap that burned my cheeks reminded me of the reality.

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