Shameless, Only For Him

Twenty nine

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Puvi

Like a madman, I've been roaming around the city for hours but couldn't find Dhana anywhere. My nerves were kicking up while it predicted negative events that might have occurred to her.

Given the depressed state that I'd pushed her in, my mind suggested notions that had me become more burdened than I already was.

It was past 9.30 pm now!

Considering that she left her mobile in her apartment, she must have deliberately gone somewhere. And that was the most dreadful part.

Where has she disappeared into!?

Stressed and worried at my failure to locate her, I halted the bike on the highway and tried to calm my messed-up head.

Wherever she's, she should be safe...

It was thundering, an indicator there would be a downpour storming into the city anytime now. As the thunder screamed at the world, sorrow clogged my throat. Where the hell did she go!?

Furious, I kicked the bike start and rushed through the city again, looking for her in every shop, temple, park, restaurant...but couldn't spot her anywhere. It was 10 pm when I lost hope and paused the bike in the middle of nowhere.

It was murky, the night had occupied the world to its fullest.

People have wrapped up their work, closed the shutters of their shops and the few numbers of vehicles on the road carry people who are on their way to their respective homes...

The world is becoming quieter with each second. It was eerie, it caused horror to set within me. Where is she...? Is she safe?

Under the dull street light, I found myself tearing up. What is this strong ache within my chest...why does it hurt so bad?

Another thunder rips through the dark cloak that's wrapped around the earth, frightening the people that reside in it.

I was terrified as well.

Not for me.

But for her.

I want to behold her, until then, I'm not going to back off or cower. Intaking a determined breath, I drove the bike ahead while forcefully locking the tears in my eyes.

It was utterly dark by the time I found a small temple, nestled between the embrace of greeneries. It glimmered, contrasting the shade of the night and seeming pleasant to one's eyes.

I've come a long way from the city.

I couldn't believe that my Dhana came all the way to here. Her scooter was parked on the side of the road. I swiftly pulled out the key from the bike and removed my shoes before entering the sacred place.

It appeared that it was an auspicious day judging by the poojas that were transpiring inside. Few elderly people were involved in chanting mantras but my eyes stuck to the girl who sat in a corner, numbly.

My heart fluttered upon seeing her yet the condition she was in pricked my insides. It was me who caused this...

First things first, I contacted Deva uncle and informed him that I'd found her and I would bring her home. He didn't question anything further and asked to bring her as soon as possible. His voice resonated the devastated state that he was in...and until he sees his daughter, he's not going to be sane. And Thamara aunt's pain, I can't even imagine...

I've to get Dhana back home immediately!

With cautious steps, I near her and squat in front of her. She doesn't react, instead, she just straightens herself and stands up.

I gaze at her form as she unites her palm and worships God. And within seconds, she leaves the temple...

I hurriedly go behind her when one of the Iyer stops me, "Is she your relative?" I nod at him, watching as Dhana lowers the stairs at a normal pace. "...take good care of her. She came in the late morning and perched there up until now...she didn't even consume anything other than the offerings we give in the temple. Out of concern, we enquired her but she didn't open up," He glances at Dhana and looks back at me.

"I'll look after her..." He nods at me and shuffles away.

As soon as he leaves, I quickly dash out, wear my shoes in a hurry, and advance towards Dhana who is about to sit on her scooter that was parked away from the temple, on the side of the deserted road.

"Dhana," I engulf her in a hug but she doesn't participate. Still, I don't spare her. I need this to assure myself that I've finally found her and she's safe and fit within my arms. Seconds later, I feel her hands snaking around me.

That completed me.

...and for the first time in my life, I felt my heart skip a beat.

"I'm sorry," I apologize as I pull back from the hug.

She doesn't respond...

"Dhana," she stares at me dully. "I hurt you purposely. I was furious at you for you've instigated my break up with Mugil. I wanted to avenge you...see you in pain..." Her eyes fill with tears at my confession but she needs to heed this, the nasty truth.

"So you used my body?" She mumbles lowly. "Yes..." I admit, feeling disdain for myself.

"I shouldn't have done any of what I'd done, Puvi. I hurt everyone around me, even my sister...to have you...but in the end, I am hurt as well," as she speaks, raindrops begin to plummet from the darkened clouds...

The raindrops drench our bodies while we both keep on peering at each other.

"After everything you've done to me, my body, my soul, I should logically hate you..." She smiles sadly while tears and rain trail through her face.

"Yet I can't Puvi..." She bursts out and weeps louder amidst the brutal fall of rain.

My heart clenches at her crushed self...the same state in which I thought I would relish discerning her in instead brought me immense pain.

"I love you Puvi!" She wails harder and I attempt to hold her but she swats my hand away.

"But I don't want you..." She shakes her head and I feel myself shattering at the words that I least imagined would be strong enough to harm me.

What's happening with me...?

"I won't disturb you anymore. You can live your life as you please...I...I can even talk to my sister If you wish to be with her again. I hurt her a lot to have you. But you taught me that love is futile when it drips from only one side...you both deserve each other as you loved each other. I'm stupid to have come in between..." Each phrase that spills out of her mouth is accompanied by increasing tears.

"Dhana..." I cup her cheeks with emotions that I hadn't known existed up until this moment. "No Puvi...no...I don't want you..." she peels my palms off her cheeks and proceeds to cry along with the weeping clouds.

On the other hand, I just stood there, incapable of deciphering the feelings that swirl within my heart.

What are those?
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