Shameless, Only For Him

Fourteen

Puvi

She is sick.

And my head is spinning in rage. If I hadn't tugged her back from the road at the right time, she would have been dead! The girl whom I raised would have had her life perished right in front of my eyes and the worse is that I would have been the reason for her idiotic decision. Does she even care about others' feelings?

I can't even imagine losing her.

She could have at least thought about her parents! Deva uncle and Thamara aunt would be devastated If they were to know that Dhana attempted to commit such a thing.

I'm really concerned about Dhana and it'd now turned into a simmering wrath.

At present, as we attain our apartment, I pull her into my apartment and shut the door. She's peering at me with fearful eyes while I try to calm myself down before speaking up.

"I'll give you two days, Dhana. Either you become sane or I'm moving out of here," her face pales at my words.

"Puvi..." Air leaves her mouth as she utters my name lowly.

"And If again your mind suggests you kill yourself, think about your parents first. I could move on from your death easily as you're just my friend. But your parents wouldn't be able to do that. Instead of dying for someone who doesn't care about your existence or your absence, try to live for the ones who genuinely care about you," I insert a lie, hoping she would stop obsessing over me and wouldn't try anything stupid anymore.

"Am I just a friend to you? Don't my life matter to you, Puvi? Wouldn't you feel sad If I perish?" She asks as tears stream down her cheeks.

It pains me to behold her in this condition. However, this is needed to detach her from me.

"No, I wouldn't feel much sorrowful. You are merely a friend to me and I might be dull for two or three days but then I'll just carry on with my life as usual," I say in a calm and nonchalant manner that has her look shattered.

Without another word, she dashes to unlock the door. "Running to commit the unthinkable again?" I ask cooly while being scared inside.

"For you who don't give a fuck about me!?" She booms in a tone blended with pain and fierceness. I was pleased upon listening to her words.

She wouldn't try that stunt anymore and she would probably move on from me...

The slamming of the door resonates throughout my apartment as she shuts it harshly after shuffling out. Meanwhile, I just sigh, feeling distressed. I wish Mugil would say the happy news of her landing a job soon so that we could make our relationship official. If Dhana is to know I'm committed to Mugil, I'm confident she would act more understandingly.

Rubbing my forehead, I plop on the couch and try to relax myself. The duties were less today and so I'd taken a two-hour leave to bring Dhana to the hospital. But after everything that occurred, I need more rest. I might as well take the whole day off.

Dhana Lakshmi

He must be lying!

But heeding such words from him had me withered. I've gone to the extreme to catch his attention, yet I've failed.

It's disheartening.

It makes me feel hopeless and shattered.

Locking myself in my room, I throw the black bag that clings to my chest on the floor and wail harder. Why won't he just give me a chance!? Has he really fallen for the girl he's committed to? Then again, what kind of love do they have between them that they don't find intimacy necessary?

Who is that girl he's in love with? Is she so beautiful inside out than me? Does she care for him more than I do!?

No way...

I'm the most exquisite one when it comes to looks. And my character, as far as I know, is not bad. I'm not very well-mannered but I'm not a cruel person!

Apart from all of it, I'm the one who loved him first and still loving him beyond my sanity. I deserve him.

Not that random girl.

I'm tired. What could I do more to make him love me? On top of all that, he has said that he would move out of his apartment If I didn't stop disturbing him. Every door is closed...does that mean I couldn't have my Puvi?

Goosebumps occupy my skin as reality begins to sink on me and I keep crying until my eyes fall on my mantra books.

Slight hope glimmers in my eyes as I drag myself to the study table and splay the book open. I grab a pen from the cabinet and begin to jot down the mantra.

My burdened heart emitted tears while I was writing and the liquid that carries my pain adorn the white page that was being filled with mantra...

God won't fail me.

Mother has said to have faith in God however worse life gets.

The divinity is my final hope.

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