Shameless, Only For Him

Seventeen

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I really really wanna say more but If I did... I'm afraid I won't be very nice. Thank you.

Puvi

At late 6 pm, someone knocks on my door. It was soft, unlike Dhana. Speculating it might be Thamara aunt or Deva uncle, I mute the television and walk up to open the door.

Taking me aback, Mugil stood there in her usual self, quiet and gloomy. Yet the latter has been intense in her countenance.

"Mugil," I smile and let her in while she silently, with an unsmiling exterior, comes inside and shuts the door behind. "When did you arrive?" I ask, watching her face which remains numb.

"I have to tell you something," I nod at her to go ahead. I thought she would break the news of her landing a job but what was spilled out from her mouth had me stiffen in shock.

"I'm sorry Puvi, we should break up...I've found someone else in Bangalore," she said in such an emotionless manner that only a fool wouldn't be able to realize that she was lying.

As far as I've known Mugil, she would never betray someone. She has never even hurt anyone. I'm well aware of her character more than she does. I've been there when she was blossoming and I've observed every little thing about her and her entire family.

"...may I know the reason behind this lie you've said now?" She stares up at me with a nervous look but hides it swiftly. I would've laughed If only I wasn't feeling devastated inside.

Still, I pull a small smile as I gaze down at her. "There could have been a million reasons behind your decision but you betraying me is not it, am I right?" She gulps slightly.

"He...is a good guy. I didn't want to give in but he made me fall for him. I couldn't help it," I chuckle at her attempt to deceive me.

Yet inside, I was already scattered into pieces.

"If you want to break up, then tell it directly. Do not try to degrade yourself in the process," she turns around as I respond.

"I've to be degraded Puvi. I'm not strong enough. I shouldn't have given in but the circumstances demanded I do. I've failed Puvi, I'm not right for you. I couldn't preserve our love. I don't deserve you," did she really find someone else?

Her words were embraced by raw emotions that caused my former notion to become twisted. "I know you wouldn't ever forgive me in this life...and I don't blame you, I shouldn't be forgiven for I couldn't save our love," she sees me over her shoulder with blurred eyes.

It's over?

Is that how valuable I am to her?

I couldn't say anything. But I've enough sanity to not beg her to stay. If she wants to go, she shall go. Grasping onto someone that doesn't need us is nothing but torture.

I didn't want to plead with someone again to stay and care for me.

She shall go...

But Mugil cheating on me? I just couldn't believe it. There is definitely something else. "I still don't trust you finding another person, Mugil. I know you and I have the right to know what pushed you to sever our relationship," she again looks away and moves to the door.

"It is what it is, Puvi. I've found another man," she turns the doorknob and an assumption pops in my head. If it's true, neither Mugil nor Dhana will have me in their life.

"Is it Dhana!?" She stills in the entrance and that partly proved my doubt.

"What about Dhana?" She asks, dubiously. Clenching my jaw, I nod towards Mugil and watch silently as she shuffles out.

I've grown up in their home and I've watched Mugil selflessly give everything to Dhana. From food to materialistic things to what not?

It was one of the reasons why I'd fell for her yet that very same thing now had me feel resentful and disappointed at her. I never thought she would let go of me for the sake of that stubborn one.

What was she even thinking!?

Is this the level of commitment she possessed? If I'm not wrong, Dhana would have bawled her eyes out and Mugil would have nodded her head, melted by the crocodile tears of Dhana.

I just can't accept the fact that she cut our bond merely because Dhana desired me. What am I? What an illogical thing to do...it's just showcased how much I mean to the one I'd in my heart.

I couldn't even cry.

I felt wrath bubbling within me but I shouldn't come to a conclusion now. This is my interpretation of what might have happened...

But If I did find out that Dhana is behind this, she's going to see the worst side of me.

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