ELIJAH
What would you do? If the past still lingers within you, that still it affects you?
Let alone be with someone who hurt you, the reason why you aren't able to move forward without questioning the existence of every part in your life?
The thought of one day it will leave you just like the person you hold unto, it scares you that someday it will vanished without a note.
As I parked the car, naglakad na kami papunta sa lobby ni Adrian. I walk behind him like a child who's just new to this building.
Wala halos nagbago, iyong nasa desk information lang na babae at ang iilang furniture na pinalitan at bagong gawa. Dumaretso kami sa elevator, I prayed that there are more people na pumasok pa but to my dismay, wala.
Katahimikan ang bumalot sa aming dalawa, gusto kosiyang tanungin at magalit sa kaniya. Bakit pa siya bumalik?
Gusto kong magwala sa harapan niya, show him how my life turn around nuong iniwan niya ako bigla. Gusto ko siyang saktan just so he know how pain he gave me until now!
Tumingin ako sa kaniya when his hand place on my back, rubbing it gently. Agad ko naman itong inalis at lumayo sa kaniya ng kaunti. "Y-you're sighing and crying silently. I'm sorry if I touch you unconsent" saad niya. "I am fine!" matapang na sagot ko.
Just then I realized I was crying since I don't know when. Agad kong pinalis ang luha ko at saktong huminto ang 13th floor ay agad akong lumabas.
I know where his dorm is, the floor he's been walking dahil dito kami palaging umuuwi nuon everytime we went to a park or even in art gallery, after our date.
Walking at this hallway feels notalgic, the ambiance didn't change only the theme and color of the walls and even the floor tiles. Nang makita ko ang number ng unit niya ay huminto ako sa harapan nito. Its door still the same.
Kung maari lang ayaw kong pumasok dito dahil paniguradong mas masasaktan ako. Every part of his condo, we have memories there.
I heared a click sound a sign that its unlocked. He went inside and I still stand here outside, not even trying to peek what's inside his condo. This is so frustrating than I ever thought.
I am assisting him pero wala akong karapatan to decline netheir they know I had past with Adrian nor do they have background of my past love life. Its just me who have a problem with this. Na kahit si Adrian parang walang kaso sa kaniya ang magsama kami ngayon, na parang hindi niya ako nasaktan.
"Come in" utos niya sa akin pero tiningnan kolang siya na nakatalikod na sa akin at hinubad ang sapatos nito. Inilagay niya ito sa shoe rock bago lumingon sa akin.
"Why? May problema ba?" takang tanong niya pero hindi kosiya sinagot at pumasok nalang din sa condo niya. I inhaled deeply before exhaling freely bago ako tuluyang pumasok at hubarin ang suot na sapatos.
As I enter the condo, the scent of him filled my nose. He's still using the same perfume. There's no special new to him, halos walang bago.
Bukod sa iyong hindi ka niya maalala na para bang may amnesia siya.
"Nasaan ang mga gifts?" agad na sabi ko nang makapasok ako para hindi na ako magtagal pa sa loob. I can't even stay in the same room with him for about an hour pero wala akong naging option dahil sa akin din siya sasabay bumalik sa office.
"Ah...Can I ask you a favor?" halata sa boses niya ang pagaalinlangan at daliri niyang naglalaro ngayon habang nakatingin sa akin. How I wish I could act like this, iyong tipo na walang idea sa kung ano kami dati. What we are to each other and what we did.
"What is it?" tanong ko sa kaniya habang papunta sa mga regalong nasa lapag sa gilid ng kaniyang sofa. "Help me clean this room, wala kasi akong matagawan na helper" sambit niya.
Napalingon ako sa kaniya na may kunot ang noo. "I am just assisting you not your personal assistant. I'm a doctor, a soon to be Professional Psychiatrist." Saad ko sa malamig at seryosong tono habang nakatingin sa kaniya ng daretso.
He should know. He must know. Dahil sa mga oras na'to gusto konang umiyak. Hindi ko maatim na manatili dito let alone talking to him like we're friends, na wala kaming past.
I know that I should forget about it to move forward but I can't.
Sa ilang taon na lumipas, wala akong ibang inisip kung na saan naba siya. Kung kamusta na ba siya. Kung buhay paba siya...
"You really don't remember me, do you?" mahina ngunit paos kong tanong sa kaniya. Muling nagbabadya ang luha ko na hindi kona ngayon pinigilan pa.
The expression on his face says it all, he doesn't even recognize me. Walang bahid ng kahit na akong recognition sa mata nito kapag tumitingin sa akin.
"W-what do you mean?" takang tanong niya na bahagyang naglalakad palapit sa akin.
"Stay there!" mariin kong saad. "H-how...h-how can't you.." hindi ko mabuo-buo ang salitang gusto ko itanong sa kaniya.
I saw how he averted his eyes when our gaze met.
"I-ilang taong kita hinanap...ilang beses akong b-bumalik sa mga l-lugar na pinuntahan natin..." hikbi kong saad sa kaniya.
"I'm always hoping that somehow, you were t-there....t-that I m-might see you..." hindi kona napigilan ang sarili at napaupo na ako habang umiiyak.
"Y-you d-don't know how my life turn upside down....I-I fa-failed h-half of m-my subjects d-dahil palagi akong andito sa labas ng pinto mo...waiting for y-you.." mahinang iyak ko.
Inangat ko ang tingin ko sa kaniya. "T-tapos ngayon babalik ka...b-bumalik ka kung k-kailangan nakakaahon na ako..."
"Adrian....n-ngayon palang ako b-bumabangon..." nanghihina at halos nagmamakaawa kong saad. "G-gusto konang m-maging masaya..." dugtong kopa.
His expression still emotionless but his eyes confused. Umiling ako at bahagyang natawa. Minahal niya ba talaga ako? May totoo ba sa mga sinabi niya sa akin nuon?
I was about to get up when everythung became black. I passed out.

BINABASA MO ANG
Invisible String
FantasíaAs someone who's been isolating itself and ignoring the amount of odds he can experience in love more than a painting. And I find myself - again and again - asking the same questions that have never been answered. Would anyone even notice if I were...