UNTAMED PRINCESS

•Chapter 28•

NA'EEM'S POV

I try to go about with my day like everything is perfect, it's not.

"Hey" Sa'adah placed her hand on my arm gently. "Yeah?" I jerk a little snapping out from my own world. "You're lost" It wasn't a question, just a statement. "You were saying something?" I ignore what she said. Her brows furrow into a little frown.

"You can tell me what's wrong you know" This is the second time she's asking me to talk to her if I want to and I do, but what you want isn't always the right option. "I'm fine" I place my hand where hers is on my arm squeezing a little.

She opens her mouth as if she wants to say something but decides against it as she sighs and pulls her hand away.

The slight ache I promised to never let myself feel for anyone else again is just a reminder to what's to come in 6 months time.

What I've been asking myself all day is if I'm going to be ready for the day she's going to leave forever.

Will I be able to handle it? Will I be strong enough for Nadeen because I know she'll be shattered all over again? Will Sa'adah ever want to look back or she's done for good?

I have not a single answer to all those questions and I always have answers for questions I ask myself.

Sa'adah made it clear as day last night when she mentioned she's only happy because everything is going according to her plan.

And maybe she was right. I'm a little delusional because if not me, I wished Nadeen was part of her happiness at least. I wished this was just more than an agreement to her.

I know it's selfish, but I also wished she saw something worth staying for in the months she was around. Being with her became so natural sometimes I tend to forget this whole thing has a deadline.

She might enjoy Nadeen's company but she was never part of her plan. She might also be enjoying the little games we play but that's all it has ever been to her, just a game.

She was ecstatic when the academy announced thier early graduation and while I like to pretend she was happy because of other reasons, I know it's because it means lesser days for her to be stuck here.

I'm happy that she's finally getting what she has wished for all her life. She love her art and getting the grooming and coaching she needs, I know she'll make wonders when she's out there.

That doesn't mean the selfish part of me don't wish I would be there by her side when she goes to make those wonders.

Last night was the wake up call I needed.

The best thing to do in a situation like this is face reality and deal with whatever life throws your way, the fact that I was hoping for a change and holding onto something that I know might never happen is just a stupid mistake on my part.

So when she made it clear on where she still stands, I stay away to keep my sanity in check.

I don't kiss her goodnight like I always do because that's some boundary that shouldn't have been crossed in the very first place.

Some lines have been blurred already. If we keep going on with it and playing games we shouldn't be playing, God knows I might not be able to keep my own part of the deal and let her go. It's going to be tough even without any of it.

I watch Sa'adah kneeling in front of a crying Nadeen as she whisper words to her, then kisses her forehead and cheeks all the while.

"Mama will be late for her flight, come here peach" I move closer to them picking up Nadeen who hides her head in my neck sniffling.