Don't Listen In Secret || Joshua Hong

Misunderstandings

jihye pov:

we were gazing at the star studded sky and the pale moon, with a cold drink and convenience store snacks. it was a mix of calm and chaotic because even though our surroundings were serene, our conversations were not.

jihye: what do you mean you never ran away from home? 

joshua: why would you?

i sighed. my life is definitely so different from joshua's. my childhood was like a survival program while his was a disney show.

jihye: jeonghan gaslighted me into thinking i was adopted. he even showed me documents.

joshua: WHAT?

there are way too many cons with having a cunning elder brother. we were quite mischievous as kids.

jihye: i have suffered a lot because of him.

joshua chuckled as i pretended to wipe fake tears. suddenly something crossed my mind.

jihye: you said you would adore me if i was your sister.

joshua stopped laughing immediately and gave me a 'are you for real?' look.

joshua: i like being friends more.

i forced a smile. i can't shake off this feeling of bitterness. he has been lowkey flirting with me. but the timing is so off. 

as good as i feel to help others. it's strange that he never paid me any attention until he was going through something and needed me to comfort him. 

maybe since he is only here for a week, he thought making a new friend would take his mind off everything. or maybe all my assumptions are bullshit. but i can't help but think this way. 

after more than 3 years of distance, this sudden proximity doesn't seem to be natural. 

joshua: i am really grateful to you for today. 

perhaps i am being too sensitive but it feels as if all he needed today was a replacement to yeri. 

it seemed as if he was filling yeri's absence with my presence. 

joshua pov:

i wanted to tell jihye how much i appreciate her for being with me today. but it looked like she didn't really care much about it. perhaps she only wanted to have a good time. i wished i could make her feel the comfort she gives me.

but no matter how much i complimented her, she didn't respond the way i had hoped.

eventually, it was time to go back and we listened to songs all the way.  jihye fell asleep and i turned the music off. the rest of the drive was eerily quiet with only my thoughts and the sound of the wheels racing over the roads to accompany me.

i couldn't stop myself from sighing. even this day has ended. i wondered if i would be able to keep my resolve of going back to normal tomorrow. 

perhaps this whole trip was a self made trap. can i ever forget how it felt to dance on the cool sand with her in my arms? 

the way my heart buzzed with warmth at the sight of her moonlit face, every wrong thing that felt so right. is it possible to let go of those moments?

the weirdest thing was that jeonghan didn't call even once even though jihye's job ended 5 hours ago and it was already 9pm.

i looked over at her as soon as we reached home. her face was relaxed and there was a faint smile on it. 

i wanted to stay in the car and just take in the serenity of her expressions. but it felt invasive to stare at her sleeping so i tapped her shoulder gently to wake her up.