Don't Listen In Secret || Joshua Hong

mixed up feelings

jihye pov:

it was deep into the night and the reddish-orange light of the grill was lighting up joshua's face with a soft warm glow. he seemed focused on his work, not paying attention to anything around him - scoups and jeonghan laughing, mingyu spilling the sauce or the confused girl whose eyes wouldn't stop landing on him.

he was looking down, chopping veggies with delicate and swift movements as if it was a sculpture that required utmost precision. his forehead was covered with messy bangs that looked honey brown in the warm light.

i couldn't understand what was happening to me. i felt so indifferent yet so sensitive. there was resentment, defensiveness, distrust but also a faint sense of regret and perhaps even a little hope that kept surviving all my attempts to extinguish it.

the neighbors must have thought we were crazy because this was no time for a barbeque party. but it was almost as if there was an unspoken agreement to make the most of the time left until we will be back to our busy lives.

mingyu: you look possessed.

i flinched as mingyu suddenly elbowed me. he was staring at me curiously. when i didn't regain consciousness even after a few seconds, his curious pout transitioned into a smirk.

mingyu: someone is having second thoughts.

jihye: definitely not me.

mingyu: you have been marinating the same piece for the whole time.

i gasped as i realized that i messed up. i glared at mingyu before passing the steak to scoups. i noticed how jeonghan and scoups stopped talking as soon as i was close to them. 

are they gossiping about me? or they are talking about something unholy?

mingyu was grinning to himself as he cooked stir fried dumplings and as soon as i started working beside him, he started teasing me again.

mingyu: jeonghan said you two went on a date today.

he said what? 

perhaps i am due on a lecture on why all men except jeonghan and my dad are shit and i shouldn't date until i am 30.

my brother loves being ridiculous.

jihye: it wasn't like that all.

mingyu: so did you kiss finally?

jihye: why are you obsessed with kisses?

mingyu: i just want the tea.

i chuckled and slapped his arm playfully. mingyu giggled as if he was finding the whole conversation strange.

mingyu: i will cook some ramen inside

he tapped my hand as he said so and i took it to mean he was looking for an excuse to get some privacy so we can talk.

jihye: i will help you.

we smiled at each other and came inside side by side. he gave me the task to boil eggs and peel them which he said is the easiest thing. 

thanks to my mom, who likes it when i am wasting time so that she can taunt me, i haven't really cooked much.

i told mingyu everything that happened today except joshua catching me call mingyu sexy. i don't want to be teased for the rest of my life. 

 in the beginning he was laughing at it but somewhere near the end, his expression became more sombre. the part where joshua asked me to dance with him to be exact. 

mingyu kept his attention at the noodles as i narrated every thing to him and at times i was tempted to leave out all the parts he could misunderstand to be romantic. but despite all that i told him everything honestly.