Don't Listen In Secret || Joshua Hong

rejection

joshua pov:

isn't it better to just find things pretty?

everything becomes complicated once people are involved.

i called jihye pretty but i couldn't have stopped myself when those words were so desperate to come out. the way she appreciates everything around her and the way her eyes are so full of love when she looks at cats or flowers. she looks so beautiful.

i wish i could just hug her and tell her how much i love her.

now that i have stopped denying it, it seems as if my feelings for her are inexhaustible. i just want to have her and never let go. but i caught her text mingyu a lot of times and it wasn't helping my case. 

mostly because jihye rejects all my subtle attempts to express how i feel. the moment it seems we are getting closer to understand each other, she mentions jeonghan again as if she is indirectly reminding me that he is the only reason we are together.

her reluctance was confusing me. it was almost as if she was deliberately ignoring the emotions that were building up between us.

we came so close yesterday but she was pretending as if nothing happened. perhaps she was just embarrassed or maybe she was really having second thoughts about it.

the feeling of her soft palm on my hand was calming me down otherwise i would have stressed out with all these thoughts running through my head.

we were talking about movies and i didn't even realize when we reached the halfway point. there was some space there. with benches to rest and admire the beautiful view and shops for refreshments.

joshua: should we stop here?

jihye: what are you making for dinner?

joshua: i will make whatever you want me to. but let's take a break, jeonghan and scoups are probably too ahead already.

we sat on a bench and even though jihye was claiming she wasn't tired, she melted down completely. i wanted to adore her so much. i wish i hadn't heard her talk to mingyu last night. maybe then i would've made a move already. 

jihye pov:

?: you get too tired for a young lady

i sat up straight immediately as an old woman who was sitting at a bench beside us commented. 

joshua: she is a little lazy

i stared at joshua open mouthed as he chuckled along with the judgmental grandma. 

jihye: how can you say that?

i crossed my hands across my chest and looked away from him. joshua laughed at my tantrums and circled his arm over my shoulder. i was flustered and he took the chance to turn me towards him.

joshua: we only have a few days don't fight

i gulped as i realized the sincere intentions behind his words. he has been so sweet and flirty. but i just can't accept it so easily. i was constantly worrying about why he isn't telling me what his feelings are. 

jihye: i am not trying to fight

joshua: yes you are. every time we are getting closer you start to get grumpy

jihye: no i don't. 

joshua tilted his head as if he was inspecting my eyes. i looked away from his discerning gaze. he smiled softly but their was a cautiousness in it as if he was afraid i would be mad at him again.

joshua: your pout says otherwise.

he poked my cheek suddenly which made me almost jump away. he giggled, closing his eyes as if he had seen the funniest thing ever. his voice sounds so soothing to me. it calmed me down. it breaks through the whirlwind in my mind, triggering a familiar feeling for just a split second. and then then it was back. the need to protect myself and to shut out everyone who tries to come close. 

i don't intend to make it easy for him. 

he will have to be more confident in his feelings if he wants me to acknowledge them.

grandma: god! young people these days only come at hills for the romance.

i rolled my eyes as the judgmental woman spoke again. there was nothing romantic going on but i wanted to kiss joshua just to piss her off.

only if this was the last time i was seeing him, i might have dared to do it.

the woman got up to continue her hike but before going she looked back at us one last time.

grandma: you look cute together

jihye: we-

joshua: thanks

my head snapped towards joshua in shock. he was just grinning politely to the woman without acknowledging my perplexed stares.

jihye: why didn't you deny that?

joshua: because i am cute 

i wanted to give a reply but ended up chuckling softly. he does look cute today. it's just that face card that never declines.

joshua: and you are cute too so we look cute together.

my smile faded away on it's own. joshua has changed so much in the last few days. just a little over a week ago he said we were impossible and now... 

everything is happening too fast to get my head around. i almost feel dizzy thinking of all that happened. it's too much.

if he doesn't give me answers soon i might go crazy.

joshua pov:

i noticed her smile fade away as soon as i said we look good together but i won't assume what it means. i don't want to give up. i could get through her defensiveness yesterday and i can get through her stubbornness too. 

joshua: let's get ice cream

she stopped zoning out at the mention of ice cream and looked back at the stores as if to confirm i wasn't lying about it.

jihye: but we will catch a cold.

joshua: i will keep you warm

for an instant i saw a hint of warmth in her eyes but it was soon replaced by the same cold look. at this point it seems like she is deliberately testing me.

jihye: i am the one with a jacket shua. you will catch a cold.

joshua: then you can keep me warm.

jihye: let's just share one. is chocolate fine?

joshua: anything you want is fine.

jihye: you are being too sweet

joshua: i am always sweet you just reject my sweetness.

jihye blinked as if she couldn't understand me and walked away to get ice cream but i caught her smile to herself.

she rejected me once again but i know i just have to show her that i love her. truly. without any doubt. and this time, without any regrets.

it's so hard to keep trying but i don't want to give up this time.

i want to untangle the mess that everything is between us. the mess that started with lying about my name and kept getting more and more twisted until it became like a labyrinth. 

but, there's always a solution.

and i am not gonna stop until i find it.

A/N:

girl is holding grudges. she won't give in that easily. 🤣🤣