Don't Listen In Secret || Joshua Hong

Love yourself

haewon: jihye is this a monster or something?

i gasped dramatically and slapped her arm. i worked so hard to decorate the cookies, how can she not tell?

jihye: it's a rabbit.

juhee: it looks straight from hell.

why am i the only one who thinks it's cute?

yeah. the teeth are too big and the eyes are too scary. but it's still a cute little bunny. my phone buzzed and i grinned as i saw the text.

jihye: juhee your husband is coming.

juhee: my what?

haewon: what did i miss?

we were interrupted by a jingle suggesting someone entered the shop. i ran over to the front door with juhee and haewon following me. 

mingyu's face lit up as soon as our eyes met. i heard a squeal behind me and i already knew juhee was going insane.

mingyu: uh- are they your friends?

mingyu looked weirded out by juhee and haewon's overdramatic reaction. i looked behind me. haewon was holding juhee up while the latter was hiding her face with her hands but her red ears were still visible.

i chuckled and squeezed juhee's shoulder. it took her a while to calm down and she removed her hands from her face slowly. she couldn't meet mingyu's eyes and ran inside.

haewon: so cute

jihye: i will go now. bye 

haewon: you won't say the b-word today?

i shushed her and we hugged each other before i joined mingyu. he was there in his own car this time. we talked about casual stuff like the ghost in their practice room until we reached the han river. 

mingyu: i found a new noodle place here. it won't be too crowded.

while we waited i told mingyu about everything that happened after last night. just telling him everything made me feel as if the thing i dread the most is happening. i am losing myself once again.

 mingyu: why are you so scared of falling for him again?

am i scared? yes. it's unrefusable. 

jihye: yeah. i am scared. it sounds stupid right?

my face was devoid of any emotion. perhaps i have exhausted all my tears already.

mingyu: no it doesn't. 

jihye: all my life, i have been told that i am just not good enough. jeonghan was always everyone's favorite but i didn't care because he was my favorite too. and then he became a trainee and i became the childish one who just wanted to have fun. when i liked joshua, he liked someone else and my mom never left any chance to tell me how much better yeri was. i was used to it and i thought i was all okay. but now that i think about it, i am not okay.

at some point the noodles were served but mingyu's attention didn't deviate from me and i was grateful because if i am interrupted, i may never speak about this again.

jihye: after 3 years of nothing, suddenly everything happened at once. i did what you told me and joshua said we are impossible so i tried to get over him and just when i was feeling better, i found out he would be at my home for a whole week. 

perhaps that's the reason everything is going wrong. it all happened too fast. just in 2 weeks my whole world was turned upside down.

jihye: he never even looked at me before but now he wants to be friends. how do i trust him with my heart so easily? especially when i have already been hurt so many times?