Growing Up - Jenna Ortega x Fem Reader

40.

Jenna's POV

The days after I cheated on Y/N were a blur of regret and self-loathing. I couldn't believe what I had done, and the weight of my actions pressed heavily on my shoulders. Every time I closed my eyes, I saw Y/N's face, the look of betrayal in her eyes when she found out. It haunted me, making sleep impossible.

If you ask me why I did it, I still couldn't quite put a finger on it. I felt trapped in the relationship, insecure, being younger than Y/N sometimes scared me. I knew her ever since we were kids; we basically grew up together. I'd never fallen this hard this quickly for someone before.

The fact that I was in a homosexual relationship and happier than ever scared me because being in the public eye is always daunting. In the days leading up to my betrayal, I wondered if maybe Y/N was too perfect for me. She did everything right, we barely argued, and I took it for granted—only now realizing it after I've fucked up big time.

Lily was just there, flirting with me the whole night. It wasn't her fault; nobody knew I was in a relationship, well, except for Gideon, but thankfully she kept my secret. When Lily leaned in, it was like my mind went blank, and I let her kiss me.

Throughout the kiss, when I felt Lily's hands on my butt, this horrible feeling filled me—regret and disgust with myself. I pulled away and told her I was in a relationship and that what we did was wrong. I looked around, and nobody was in sight, so I resumed my night as if nothing had happened only to realize Y/N was no longer at the party, so I assumed she just left, being the introvert she was. I understood.

It was only when I went back to our hotel room that I learned she had caught me cheating. Ever since that day she walked out of the door and out of my life, I've never seen nor talked to her again.

---

October 2nd

I was still in London, trying to escape the mess I had created. Gideon and Lily were with me, offering their support. We decided to go out, hoping that the change of scenery might distract me from the pain I was feeling. The city was bustling with life, but all I could think about was Y/N.

As we walked through the city, the cool evening air did little to soothe my troubled mind. Gideon glanced at me with concern. "Jenna, you need to stop beating yourself up," she said gently. "You're only human. You made a mistake."

"But it was a huge mistake," I replied, my voice trembling. "I hurt the one person who truly loved me."

Lily, walking beside me, put a hand on my shoulder. "We'll help you get through this. Just take it one day at a time."

I sighed, feeling the weight of my actions pressing down on me. "I don't even know where to start. I don't know how to fix this."

Lily hesitated before speaking. "Jenna, I'm really sorry for what happened that night. I didn't know you were in a relationship. If I had known..."

I shook my head, stopping her. "No, Lily, it wasn't your fault. You didn't know. I should have told you. I should have stopped it before it happened."

Lily looked relieved but still concerned. "I just feel awful about it. I don't want to be the cause of your pain."

"You're not," I assured her. "I am. I was the one who made the choice, and now I have to live with the consequences."

Gideon nodded, her expression serious. "Jenna, you're strong. You'll get through this. And we're here for you, no matter what."

As we continued walking, the conversation lingering in the air, I spotted a paparazzi lurking nearby. I gave them a death stare, hoping my sunglasses would conceal the redness and puffiness of my eyes. Thank God I had them on, or else I would have been captured looking miserable.