SYMPATHY FOR THE DEVIL, J.HUGHES

FIFTY FIVE

Birthdays are kinda weird, y'know? It's like, the day everything changes. Some people are all hyped, like it's their happiest day on earth, and for others, it's just this heavy reminder of... whatever. For me, it's kinda both, but mostly, it's like this huge revelation. I mean, today, I realized something—like, it just hit me—that you only get 365 days to make the most of your age. After that, poof, it's gone, and you'll never be this age again.

It's kinda wild, isn't it? Like, you're never gonna be as young as you are today. That's a fact. And we just... let that shit slip by like it's nothing. One minute you're blowing out candles, and the next, you're like, 'Damn, where did all those days go?'

It's funny 'cause when you're a kid, birthdays are all about the party, the cake, the presents, right? But now... now it's like a timer ticking down. You start thinking about all the stuff you haven't done yet, all the things you wanted to be by now. It's not just a day anymore; it's a checkpoint.

When you're a kid, birthdays are pure magic. You're all excited about turning another year older, like it's some badge of honor. And every year, you think, 'I'm one step closer to being a grown-up!' And that's all you want, right? To be older, to be bigger, to be something more.

Then you hit your teens, and everything gets all complicated. You're still looking forward to getting older, but now there's this pressure, like you're supposed to have your shit together. You're figuring out who you are, trying on different versions of yourself like outfits in a dressing room. Some fit, some don't, but you're still just playing dress-up, pretending you know what the hell you're doing.

And then... bam, you're in your twenties. You're supposed to be an adult now. Like, congrats, you've made it, right? But no one tells you that being an adult is just a series of 'What the fuck am I doing?' moments strung together by caffeine and late-night freak-outs. You're out here paying bills, trying to build a life, and you realize that all those stages—being a kid, being a teen—those were the lucky parts. Those were the times you didn't have to worry about anything real. 

"SUPRISE, motherfucker!" Ethan shouts right at the end of our big, grand reveal. The word echoes off the walls like it's got nowhere else to go, and we all turn to him like, really? That's how you wanna play this?

Nico's already bending over, laughing his ass off, with his hands on his knees. "You guys are so bad at surprises," he manages between chuckles, his grin wide enough to light up the whole damn room. "I knew it the second I walked in."

I roll my eyes but can't help grinning back. "At least we tried," I say, clinking my glass with Dougie's. "Effort counts for something, right?"

Dougie smirks, raising his drink. "Yeah, we're definitely better on the ice than at planning surprises."

"Speak for yourself," Dawson butts in, all fake offense. "I was all about the surprise. But then Ethan had to go and fuck it up."

Ethan shrugs like the chaotic idiot he is, completely unapologetic. "What? It was funny."

"Only you would think that," Bratt mutters, shaking his head, but even he's smiling. We're all a mess, but we're a fun mess, and honestly, that's what makes nights like this bearable.

Timo takes a sip of his drink, chuckling. "Just glad I'm not the one who ruined it this time."

Nico finally straightens up, still laughing, and gives Ethan a good-natured slap on the back. "Seriously, though, thanks, guys. This means a lot."

Jack catches my eye from across the room, and I can see that light smile playing on his lips. Things have been...well, not perfect, but pretty damn good. I'm holding it together, and that's more than I could say a year ago. Yesterday's doctor's appointment confirmed it: "You're going to survive, Morgan. You did it once, you can do it twice." And damn right, I believe them. I'm tougher now, stronger. I've got a better shot at beating this thing at 25 than I did at 17. I'm lucky as hell, and I'm not taking that for granted.