Kiss Me One Last (Lemuel Bros. #2)

Kabanata XXVII

"Noong nakaraang taon ko lang nalaman, hija. Nagkatapatan kami ni Tomas at... at... bigla ay umamin siyang baog pala siya. Kaya't alam niyang hindi ka niya tunay na anak. Then that only meant one thing... That you're mine, Tatiana. Sa tindi ng pagsisisi at bigat ng kalooban ko sa maraming taon, umamin na rin ako kay Tomas dahil may iba siyang inaakalang posibleng tunay mong ama."

"K-Kinamumuhian ka na ni Papa..."

Marahan itong tumango. "That was expected for Tomas to curse me and never forgive me. That's why I couldn't tell him before. He was my... my b-best friend..."

Napailing-iling ako. My real father betrayed his best friend...

"Ngunit maniwala ka, hija. Kung alam ko lang na anak kita, matagal ko nang inamin kay Tomas at kinuha na lamang kita. Ako na lang sana ang nagpalaki sa 'yo, nag-aruga.

"N-Nagkahinala na 'ko noon pang nagdadalang-tao si Hannah na baka anak kita. Ngunit, itinanggi niya makailang beses habang ipinagbubuntis ka. She told me you are Tomas' child. Naniwala na lang din ako sapagkat isang gabi lang 'yon... Isang gabi lang kaming nakalimot na dalawa ng iyong Mama. Isang gabing natalo ako ng temptasyon. It was only a one time affair."

"Iyon din ba ang pagkakataon na nahuli kayo ni T-Tita Valentina? Noon niya pa bang nalaman na si Mama ang kalaguyo—"

"Oo at hindi. Oo, nahuli niya kami, subalit hindi namukhaan ni Valentina na si Hannah ang babaeng kasama ko. She was too hurt and too angry when she caught us the next morning on my bed, when I was still living in Quiteria. Hindi na nagtanong pa si Valentina. She broke off our marriage immediately. At pinagsisisihan ko nang malala lahat ng iyon, Tatiana..."

The godfather I used to look up to cried in front of me.

"Hannah was always sad and alone while Tomas was busy with his businesses. He's working hard to give everything to your mother, but he forgot to give her time and attention. Your mother loved Thomas so much, Tatiana. Pero masyado na siyang malungkot at... at..."

"You took advantage..."

"I was only tempted—"

"Kaibigan mo si Papa!" sumbat ko, kahit na humagulhol pa siya sa harapan ko! "Matalik na kaibigan mo si Papa! You shouldn't have took advantage of his neglected wife!"

"I'm sorry... I'm sorry. I know. That's why I kept this guilt for so long. So long... It's an endless torture. Sa tuwing nakikita ko si Tomas at kung paano niya 'kong pinagkakatiwalaang lubos, the guilt was eating me up.

"I messed up everything! I betrayed my best friend, I lost Valentina and our c-child... I caused Hannah's unfaithfulness... Pinagsisisihan ko lahat. Pinagsisisihan ko, anak! Alam ko, wala akong karapatang lumigaya dahil sa lahat ng iyon!"

Mas humagulhol si Ninong at napasadlak sa sahig ng hotel room. "P-Patawarin mo 'ko, a-anak... Patawarin mo 'ko..."

Bumibigay ang puso ko, naaawa. Pero masyado nang masakit lahat. Namamanhid na 'ko sa sunod-sunod na rebelasyon.

Everyone... Everyone I admired and loved kept secrets that would entirely shatter my heart and soul.

Una, si Alvaro... It scares me, disgusts me... I'm not sure anymore if he's truly the man I admired, loved, and married!

Then, Ninong... I couldn't even call him my father!

Hinanda ko na ang sarili kong malaman ang katotohanan sa pagkatao ko, pero nanunuot pa rin ang sakit sa bawat himaymay ng kalooban ko.