Especially you

You're really pretty, you know.

Chapter 3. "You're really pretty, you know"

I was so embarrassed, the cheerleaders started to say hi to me in the halls. They knew me as the wired drunk girl. Good way to kick off the second week here, I thought. Other than that, I overheard a rumor about me dating Rob. To my own surprise I didn't erase his number, yet.

Chloe walked beside me, she was in another headspace. She had this big maths test that she spend the whole night preparing for, almost not getting any sleep. I could never be a straight A student, I thought.

- I'm going in to my test, see you later.
Chloe basically ran inside the classroom, I could sense her stress even from outside.
- Good luck Chlo, I yelled after her.
I saw her blow me a kiss inside the classroom, before sitting down at the bench.

Was she flirty with me? Was I flirty with her?

Sometimes it felt like it. Did that mean I was into girls? I didn't know. The feeling scared me. But I didn't recall liking the kiss with Rob, that's for sure.

Later that night I started making pancakes for me and Chloe. I knew she would be home soon, stressed out about her grade. It felt natural doing her a favor, she had done so much for me.

Even if this was nothing like me to do, ever, I still did it.

Just as she walked through the door I was done setting our small wooden table. She walked into the kitchen, and her eyes sparkled at the sight.
- You made me pancakes? She said in a baby voice.
- Yeah, kinda, I said nonchalant.
- Awww, you're so sweet! She said, walking round the table, pulling me into a tight hug. She held me for a long time. I felt so safe from her touch, so relaxed in her arms.
- Let's eat, she said with her childish grin.

The pancakes was actually pretty good, and currently Chloe was laying in my lap, watching TV on the couch. This also became a natural thing, us cuddling sometimes. I hesitated before letting my fingers trace her pretty curls. She relaxed.

I loved this way too much to be straight, I thought. But did Chloe really feel the same? Maybe I was only a good friend to her. I was too afraid to ask, and I wasn't sure I would wanna know either. Anything about Chloe made me anxious, afraid of rejection.

Suddenly Chloe shifted position, sitting up and facing me. She stranded some of my hair behind my ear.
- It was so sweet of you, making me dinner! Thank you Red.

I blushed, and had to look away for a moment before answering.
- No problem. I looked shyly into her eyes, and she replicated. We sat like that, I bet she could hear my heartbeat.
- You're really pretty, you know. Chloe says.

I sit in awe for a moment before getting a wired impulse. I turn forward to cup her chin, I trace her jawline with my finger. She looks at me with confusion, but doesn't move. I slowly connect our lips. Chloe shuts her eyes, and I could feel her breath hitch. I pull away and look into her big brown eyes, looking satisfied but yet confused by the action.
- What was that Red?
- I really don't know.

-

Let's just say things got awkward from here. We didn't talk about the kiss, we just ignored it. I was nervous around Chloe all the time, avoiding her as much as I could. I couldn't tell if she was as nervous as I or simply thought I was wired.

It was a week after the kiss and we were sitting next to each other, doing our project in class. Suddenly someone taps on my shoulder. It's Rob.
- Hi gorgeous, you never answered my texts.

Chloe rapidly looked up from her computer, staring at me and Rob. Thinking I wouldn't notice.

Rob walked around, now standing in front of me, smiling.
- Ehhh, I totally forgot! Was it something important? I ask.
- You and me, dinner, Friday night? Sounds good? On me of course.

I could see Chloe's mad expression in the corner of my eye, she wanted to kill him. She bit her lip, having a mad expression all over her face, almost crushing the pen she was holding.

- Eeeeehhhhhmmmmm,
I panicked, what would I say? I didn't even know if Chloe was into me, she ignored me just as much. I took a deep breath, taking a last look at Chloe's mad expression before turning to Rob.
- Yeah, sounds good.
I regretted it the second it left my mouth.

Chloe looked disappointed down at her computer again, my heart was racing. What did she think? I stared at her, before realizing Rob was still in front of me, talking.

- Red? Hello? Can I pick you up at 8?
- Oh yeah, that's fine. I need to start working again, busy times. I let out a nervous little laugh.
- Oh okay, see you Friday! He winked and walked away.

I didn't even realize I was holding my breath this whole time, I slowly breathed in before turning to Chloe.

- Chloe I-
- You what? She spat out, still with the expression.
- I- I- I don't know, I stammered.
- There's a lot you don't know Red.
- Why do you even care? I blur out harshly, maybe too harsh.

Chloe stares at me, her eyes big and scared.
- I care about you Red, I don't want you to end up with some scumbag.
- That's the only reason? I ask, biting my lip in anger.
Chloe takes a deep breath, before muttering a "yeah".

Maybe I was wrong, maybe I was the only one getting butterflies, not the other way around.

-

The days went by and Chloe and I barely talked. I was getting ready for my "date" with Rob. As I was on my way out the door Chloe bursts inside. She stopped right when she saw me, eyeing down my body. We stood in silence.
- You look very pretty, Chloe says, looking down at the floor.
- Um, thanks.
Chloe takes a deep breath.
- Have fun.

Rob's car was a shiny new black bmw. He opens the door for me, and drive us to a nice restaurant in town. He leads me inside to a table.
- Red?
- Yeah, I look up at Rob.
- You seem really off today, did something happen?
- No, No, definitely not, I try to look smiley and happy.

He looks at me, like he doesn't  believe me at all.

I sight,
- I got in a big fight with Chloe.
- What about? He asks, curious.
- I don't even know! I don't even know what she's thinking 90% of the time! And she won't tell me anything! I almost scream out.

- Well have you asked her? He states.
- Well- No- But-.
- Then ask her Red, don't be a coward. You have to ask to get what you desire. Look at us right now, I asked you and it worked. If you want her back as a friend just ask her what wrong! Ask her what she feels, it's not that hard!

I look up at Rob, and ask myself why. Why was I so afraid of what she was feeling? Why were I so afraid of my own feelings?

After a while we ordered some pasta, eating in silence. There was too much going on in my head.  I decided that I needed to talk to Chloe, now!

I told Rob I was tired, and he drove me home. I rushed up the stairs, almost knocking the door down to get inside fast enough.
- Chloe? I shouted.

Chloe sat in the sofa, with her headphones, looking utterly shocked.
- What are you doing home already?
- I need to talk to you!
- Okay, she says, taking off her headphones.

I sit down beside her, looking into her eyes, all glowy and innocent.

- I'm sorry I'm such a dork, I really like you Chloe.
- You're not a dork Red, I totally ignored this subject too.
- Why? I ask.
She breaths deeply,
- Because it felt too embarrassing asking a straight girl if she liked me back.

I think my heart stopped.

- You like ME?
- Yeah girl, isn't that obvious?