Competition

Emma

Emma's pov

I've been up since 4 am. Before the sun has risen and everyone is still asleep. Honestly I really don't have to eat up till 6:30 because school doesn't start till 7:45. Yet here I am, up running 3 miles on the treadmill in my families home gym. I love it though, exercise makes me happy, being up early gives me energy. I feel awake, healthy and alert during the day.

It's my routine, I live for consistency:

4 am wake up

Dream journal

Tidy up room

Cup of green tea

Thirty minutes of yoga / stretching

Run 2-6 miles

15 minute stair master

Have my smoothie

Shower

Style hair/ dress

Practice my french

Another cup of tea

Drive to school ( with podcast)

On the weekends I move that wake up time to 6 am.

At 5:45 I get a face time call from my friend Regina. I love this girl, she's got it all naturally slim, cute brown hair and is just as althetic as me.

"Hey Em, I decided to do my running this morning outside!"

" That's fine with me, I stayed on the treadmill though, it's to routine for me to just change you know?"

" Yea I guess, what's your mile pace right now ?" Regina asks me.
We both do ballet and we are both great at it. We are best friends always have been but we are kind of in althetic competition with one another. Even if it's just little things.

" 7 minutes at the moment but before 6:30 I'll try to push for a six minute forty five second pace, what about you Regina ?"

She glances down at her apple watch.

" I'm sitting at about seven minutes twelve seconds, I'll do two more miles and try to stay at seven minute pace then head home and get ready for school! Shouldn't take me to long. "

" That's great, I'm going to do one more mile, push for six forty five and then get ready, bye! Love ya!"

" Bye love you babe!" She says with a smile and a kissy face.

As I hang up I start to blush, I love Regina without a doubt as a friend and as a bit more. Whenever she calls me babe it lights me up. We've never, been more than friends and to be honest I'm not sure how to act if we were ever to become more than friends. But I also know she's probably bummed my mile pace was faster than her's, but she'll be over it by health.

At 6:10 I finally hit six minutes forty five second mile pace and get of the treadmill. Nothing like a morning run to wake you up. I'm glad I hit my ideal pace but Im not excited or surprised, I'm so obsessive about my goals once I tell people Im going to do something. I stop and look in the mirror.

My long blonde hair is definitely sweaty but still cute my black lulu set looks great on me, I take off the jacket and take a low light picture that I post to my story. Low light, lulu, home gym and me are an elite combination when it comes to Instagram photos.
I caption it.

" Greatness never sleeps!"

As I leave our home gym and grab a premade fruit and vegetable smoothie I think about how true that is. I'm always awake studying, working out, doing ballet, running, therapy. Oh that's right therapy, I've been in therapy for three months for orthorexia. My therapist is nice and slowly I've opened myself up to foods I didn't like but I'm still thin, toned, and able to do the sport I love so I'm happy.

Well, maybe not happy but consistently positively motivated. I feel great , people on Ed twt still use my pictures on thinspo honestly I'm just happy being me and being looked up to. Although edtwt is a hellscape I blame it on the adult disordered people shaming the younger disordered people because they don't understand us. As well as I feel like the intertwined nature of shtwt and edtwt. Sh is a terrible life shattering addiction no one should be engaging in but coupled with an eating disorder and the environment is just crap. To me self harm always ruins the more than likely beautiful body weight loss has created. How can I wear short flowly shorts to show off my thin thighs without being insecure if they are covered in scars?

I finish my smoothie, take all of my supplements and head to the shower to prep for school. I'm very particular about my appearance and very obbesive over my routine. That applies to everything, school ballet, my friends, the food I eat. Everything has to be perfect. It's that mentality that led me to develop orthorexia. My skin care includes the ordinary products, kosas, Haus labs makeup, Jade rollers, bubble, Summer Fridays, Rhode and Drunk elephant.

My body care includes exploration of every calorie I eat so I get the most nutrients and energy as possible ( that's good ole fashioned orthorexia) self Tanner, body oil, massages, and Lazer hair removal.