Competition

Rebecca's binge

Rebecca's pov

After soccer practice I'm feeling a bit hungry, but practice was fun. I had such a great time I felt strong, drills went by smoothly and we ran through some new formations to prep for next Saturdays game . But it was a bit tiring. I'm tired, sweaty and honestly need a shower but it's 7:42 and I'm beyond tired. Besides if I sleep I won't be hungry.

I decided not to eat and to go to bed instead. I'm to tired to even think. I crawl under my covers and tell my Alexa to play my lofi playlist. Exhausted I doze off.

Yawning sticky, hot, and hungry. I check my phone, it's 10pm. I slept at least two hours, but honestly I needed it. I've got 12 notifications from my ed group chat.

Elizabeth said "Guys, today was such a boring day. Whenever I fast (hour 60) I feel like everything is boring"

" So relatable whenever I fast I just sit bored in my room, and when I get hungry I go on a 30 minute walk and then an hour long bike ride. If I get even hungrier I take some melatonin and sleep."

I refuse to read the rest of the texts, they just make me hungry. And since I'm still fat I still feel incredibly guilty. I feel disgusting so I run into the shower. Trying to be quiet because my mom is sleeping. I squeeze myself into the shower and begin scrubbing up with my mint body wash. It's nice to feel the sweat scraping off my body. Removing all the sweat and stink off my body. But as I stand there washing the cleaner I get the more apparent my hunger gets.

I squeeze out of the shower, put on an Elvira graphic t in size four x and head to the kitchen. Maybe somerfe cakes will fill me up, every body in my Ed group chat raves about them.

I open up the cupboard and grab some green apple rice cakes. I snap a picture and send it to the group chat. I eat three just plain and log it into MyFitnessPal. I've already had 2,370 I still have room for a few things in my defecit. But as I feel the gnawing pain in my stomach I know I need more than a few rice cakes.

But I still feel hungry. I grab the almond butter my mom bought and converd three more rice cakes in it. Munching down. But I still felt painfully hungry. I trudge over to fridge and pour myself a giant glass of milk. Almond milk of course, it's all we have. I start guzzling that down and then I see the chocolate quest bars my mom bought.

Honestly they aren't even that good, they taste a bit dense and "fake" chocolatey, I close the cupboard and open up the fridge again. I still feel,so so she hungry. I find a plum but I still know that won't be enough but I eat it anyway. I have absolutely no idea how Emma survives. I log it into MyFitnessPal with a sigh.

" God it was a mistake to have mom buy all this healthy food, now I have nothing but rabbit food to eat and I'm starving!!!" I groan as I look at ,y options.

I think to myself as I bite into a plum and feel the juices drip down my chin. Gosh these plums are so small I grab two more. There are so delicious, gosh I need to figure out how I can make a plum smoothie. But making one know would be way to loud. I keep munching on the plum till I find a box of wheat thins to eat. I cover each wheat thin in low fat cream cheese. I don't want to log this,

"if I don't then it's basically like I didn't eat it" I say aloud as a bite into another wheat thin. Halfway through the box I grab a sprite zero to wash some of my snacks down. I check the time on my phone 10:45.

Standing the kitchen munching on more wheat thins, honestly they are starting to taste like crap. But I still eat them. I think to myself.

" I can eat whatever I want tonight and I'll just start over tomorrow no one will know if I don't tell them. " With guilt I finish my wheat thins and open up the dairy free berry ice cream my mom bought at the store. Berry ice cream isn't even my favorites I mean who wants to eat ice cream that taste like fruit when you could just eat fruit. But I dig into the ice cream either way.

At this point I'm chugging down each bite without evening tasting it. The texture and coldness comforts me each swallow is like an eternal hug. I'm just do hungry and need to eat as much as I can within the next hour. Next up on the Becca binge I allow my next victim to be eight pieces of naan bread with pork and low fat cheese happily housed in every piece.

I soak up the fatty juices and delicious tender pork physically moaning as I eat every bite. Gosh it feels so good to just fill myself up. And on delicious pork and naan at that, I seriously need to eat less chicken and more pork my tounge is a actually in heaven. Screw the hunger cues calorie defecit and weight loss bull shit. I just want to eat.

I look at my phone and it's 11:43 I have 17 minutes left. I'm still starving I want to fill my body, I want to be satisfied, full, fat and happy. I will start fresh tomorrow I'll skip breakfast and dinner just eating lunch with the girls.

" Fuck it" I reach up and grab the chocolate quest bars stacking three on top of each other and biting into them. Yep chalky , thick and kind of Gross. Chocolate cake would taste so much better. But that doesn't stop me from taking a giant bite and finishing them off. To wash it down I finish off my milk, and the rest of the full size tub of cream cheese.

As I see my stove clock hit 12 am I sit there and think to myself.

" I have to hide this" I grab a trash bag and toss the Ice cream bin, wheat thin box, finished cartoon of almond milk. Quest bar wrappers, the wrapper from the rice cakes, followed by the tub of cream cheese, three pits from my plums, four sprite zero soda cans, and lastly the whole empty container of almond butter in the trash bag. I toss the trash bag over my shoulder and head to the trash bin outside. Before I didn't really feel the need to hide my binges but now my mom is trying to help me and is so supportive I HAVE to get rid of the evidence. I feel so guilty.
I don't want her r the girls from school to find out, and I'm definitely not talking about this in my slim wins group chat. God I know everyone in there is trying to loose weigh t maintain there already low weigh but after seeing the only other obese girl loose weight bingeing makes me feel terrible.

What's crazy about this whole situation is this is still one of my better binges. Most of what I ate could technically pass for healthy. Headed back inside and back into bed I text my school friends in there group chat telling them I binged. Just in case any of them are up, and I'm not in the mood to be judged I put my phone on Do not disturb. I pull my weighted green blanket over my head and rather quickly fall into blissful sleep.