Competition

Wednesday morning - Emma

Emma's pov

Once again it's 4 am and I'm up. I turn on the lulu mirror in my beautiful pink and gold bed room, I grab my mat and do a bit of novice level yoga just to stretch my muscles for about twenty five minutes. I fill up my Stanley with water and runchy ice as I make my way down to the gym. I love having a gym at my home, I love my dad and all he does to provide for me.

I'm running on my treadmill listening to an Abbey sharp video/ podcast, she's a decent YouTuber certainly not my favorite but she offers good advice. Honestly I just like to listen to something to avoid having to be alone with my thoughts.

Really I haven't been doing doing much of anything, or rather nothing interesting has been happening to me. That's both good and bad, I need to relax stress and an a sence of control triggers my orthorexia. But then again I like fun hectic life, I like something to be happening in my life I like to be busy and active.

I've been dedicating more time to ballet lately. Yesterday we all did official interviews with Rebecca for her English lit project. I've been practicing healthy eating and cooking with a bit more variety as of late.
Last night after school and dance class I came home showered went out for a massage and was back home in bed by 10:30. I enjoy my life being relaxed as of late, my skin is clear my skin is healthy and I'm happy.

Abbey is rudely interrupted by a phone call from lee, I check my watch it's about 5:16 a bit early for her to be up but I answer happily. Just hearing her voice delights me. I'll never be able to pick between her or Regina.

" Good morning princess Emma!" Lee says with joy, while outside? On a hike, in Lululemon sneakers, well this is a change?

" Good morning your outdoor highness, what on earth are you up to?" I remark while biting back a giggle, and pushing through my jog.

" Well I've been feeling very busy af not grounded in my life, so I'm outside reconnecting with nature, listening to my Bible, talking to a beautiful girl you know." Lee smiks at me.

She has never been shy when it comes to flirting. That's one thing I love about her, Lee is gay. However she'd flirt with a piece of Bacon just to prove she can.

" That's good, and don't think I didn't catch that, I've been feeling the opposite very grounded very routine very happy. I've been eating right, my dance technique is Sharpe and my Forever mood candles came yesterday!" I smile at my phone forgetting for a moment she can't hear me.

" That's great Emma, I love Forever mood, track has been going well for me to I'm constantly dropping time off my 200. But still time outside is good for the soul I try and be outside at least once a week. " I hear lee panting a bit. I don't want to seem like this is an easy day for me so I up my speed on the treadmill.

" I agree completely we all need time alone, time to reflect. I had an A.P history test Friday and studying for that has generally been my alone time. Thank you for checking on me during your alone time though. "

I hear lee laugh a bit. I hope she falls over a rock, to a painfull death.

" Of course I would have just sent a message through the group chat but I'm sure that after talking about your eating disorder Monday you needed some special attention."

God I love this woman. Sorry for wishing she fell over a rock. My bad.

" Thank you dear, it's 5:38 and I still have much to do. All my love bye-bye." I quickly say before I tear up. Lee makes me feel amazing no matter what my body looks like she complements me, she always has something positive to say about everyone. She's actually the one who pushed me into recovery.

Recovery and being impatient was a crazy experience especially because I had orthorexia an eating disorder that isn't typically calorie restrictive. Outside of the food portions being crazy so were the people. They were two trans boys in the female ward and they were terrible people to be around. One of them Max would try and make everyone else feel inferior and the other one Nova, was just totally weird and didn't have any aspect of his personality figured out. But when Lee would come visit me it gave me someone to talk to about how toxic Max was.

" Bye doll." Lee says just as I hang up and Abbey's voice fills my ears. Abbey is a smart woman, she has positive thoughts about food and always reminds me I can eat what I want without eery bite having to have been maxamized and calculated to host the most nutritional value. Something in patient therapy and constantly being around the annoying, self centered Max all the time.

I keep running up until 6 am, then per usual I grab my smoothie and begin to take my vitamins for the day.

Zinc ( I don't eat enough meat)

Once I took since without eating anything yet and I swear the cramps stomach pain and nausea almost popped my body into an early grave.

Iron ( I don't eat enough meat)

Birth control ( for my period)

Vitamin c ( I'm always inside so I'm slightly deficient )

Fish oil

And a women's one-a-day. (Who doesn't take a women's one a day?)

I gulp down my smoothie with each capsule and prepare to get in the shower. I'll have to try pear smoothies next week I saw them on Pinterest.

I grab my honey butter body scrub and body wash as well as my vanilla shampoo. My absolute favorite smells all rolled into one hot shower.
As I prepare to shower I abandon Abbey and instead listen to A "Diary of a CEO episode" I love a think piece to start of my day, stupidity is a quality of ugly people and Im far from ugly.