Competition

Caught- Emma and Cate

Cate's pov

"I've always been thin, but I felt like I could be thinner. For me now being 17 I've had issues since I was 14 " I'm at Emma's house, well mansion. God this girl is rich rich, beautiful arch ways tons of pink accents and expensive art litter the hallways. There are tons of vases full of real flowers but her bedroom is the real specimen. A king sized bed, pink sheets with a strawberry comforter. A giant mirror right a Ross from her bed. A sofa and two chairs not to mention her stunning vanity. I turn to my left stepping on a mink area rug as I sit down across from Emma.

She said she wanted to talk to me, I was five steps inside when she asked me if I was bulimic. She said something about noticing my puffy cheeks, constant water drinking and sneaking off to the bathroom.m

" I haven't purged in a few days, or binged to be honest with you. But I still want to be and look healthy all while remaining thin, I don't weigh myself regularly. I still count calories but I'm eating full proper meals. " Emma brings me a glass of cucumber water while she tucks into a celery juice.

" I understand, I've always been thin I mean you knew me in elementary school. I've never been the fat kid. However I was always a picky eater. I was never anorexic like Lee was. So any weight I did loose was not intentional and lost in a slightly healthier way. I would eat as long as the food was healthy, nutrient rich, and of course looked nice as I ate it. So that helped me avoid of Ed symptoms like constipation or gas, mainly because I ate so much fiber. " She pauses to readjust her Alo leggings.

" I had rituals related to my food. I would make my food cook it all up but wouldn't eat till the dishes I used were all clean. My entire meal couldn't weigh more than ten ounces. I was constantly weighing things, honestly it was never about weighing less I was just watching so many food documentaries and I wanted everything to be perfect , weighing my food was a part of that. Honestly the food documentaries are full of true information but it's important not to get obsessive. " Emma looked at me as I listened to her words and absorbed them like gospel.

" Me personally is it about weight, but also asethtics I'm a beautiful girl. I don't eat greasy hot dogs, dripping steaks fatty grill cheese sandwiches or anything like that. In fact if I eat over 800 calories at once I would force myself to purge it up. I carry a popsicle stick in my purse for that purpose exactly. I don't want to ever be overweight I mean what's the point of being bulimic and being fat? "

I take another sip of water. I'm stressed having this conversation with her, even though she isn't trying to fix me. It still is raising my anxiety.

" I know that sounds kind of contradictory because why would a pretty girl vomit? I mean it's definitely disgusting. However I don't see it like that, I feel like other bulimcs never actually talk about the actually throwing up part of purging. I mean I'm constantly drinking water not only to remain full, but also it makes purging much easier if I ever get the urge. You know then I can just pop into a restroom and go. " I sigh and take another gulp of water.

" I understand Cate, really I do, however I do want you to be healthy. I'm recoverd and in therapy I'm still slim, beautiful, and I eat clean. However I encouperate meat and protein powder. I promise you Lee was onto something with that. It's okay to eat meat or other slightly processed foods, especially for our sports our bodies need fuel. "

We both laugh for a moment, before Emma drabbles on.

" I know part of bulima is binges and my eating disorder has never included that, I mean thrbnot whd orthorexia is. I'll eat what ever I want, in any quantity as long as it's healthy you know? Maybe a fruit salad, wheat thins. Pasta, fruits and oatmeal, chicken salads. Fruit or veggie plates. Vegetable stir frys, matcha cookies, or random viral TikTok recipes." Emma shrugs and finishes up her green juice.

" Well I'll be honest Emma I know it's not discipline and it's an eating disorder but I still admire you for it. See me I have been eating healthy and balanced lately I'll treat myself to a chocolate chip cookie maybe with almond milk and dark chocolate so it's lower calorie before bed. It fufills my sweet craving and keeps me from bingeing." I push my braids behind my back before carrying on.

" I also keep a video diary, honestly I think everyone should. It keeps me busy and distracted when I don't want to eat. It also allows me to truly understand the thought in my head. I can happily express my thoughts, you know thoroughly I can process my emotions around food. " I move closer to Emma across her plush pink couch.

" Maybe you could keep a video diary ? You'd be great at it and eventually could post on YouTube." I smile at Emma with hope.

I sit there thinking, I haven't had to many problems related to my Ed. I mean sure my arms and legs are bit hairy and when it's cold I'm a touch silly but I never delt with constipation problems. Honestly whenever I see that it's from people who don't eat vegetables, don't drink water and try to OMAD junk food, gummy sharks, a donut, or taco bell. Don't get me wrong I did tell Rebecca to take laxatives to loose water weight but she's morbidly obese, maybe I should suggest she get a colonic.

" Oh I love YouTube, I take so much inspiration from there I love Abbey Sharpe, the allure channel, Luxeria, Vita sidorkina. I worship her what I eat in a days. Hmm I also enjoy Jubilee's debates. I love lean beaf patty lee put me onto her and HealthyGamerGG. Who are your favorite YouTubers?" Emma inquires intently.

" Well I love TheWizardLiz, fern I act just watched a video from that channel it was called " The dirt business behind caffeine." As well as karemlita Fox, I also enjoy Of Hearbs and Altars, Elle literacy, Zoe unlimited and Romee Strijd. They give me so much inspiration or just talk about interesting things and I blindly tune in, but I also like vita to! You and her look a lot a like!" I gently push her shoulder which sends Emma reeling into laughter.

" Aww thank you, I love any and all models YouTubers and maybe I'll give your video a try. I want you to keep control of you purging if you want to purge whatever you ate maybe go on a walk instead burn the calories? I have an old waling pad you can have. Or do some other kind of activity I know you crochet, or maybe draw instead, paint me something or organize a digital collage and print it out to add to your celling?"

She looks at me with joy, God she knows everything about me but those are useful tips. I swear her intuition is phenomenal. As I look at her h lightly flips her straight blonde hair and gently scratches her neck with her beautiful blueberry milk nails.n

" Okay, I'd love your old walking pad!" I respond with enthusiasm.

" M'kay I'll have Ella grab it later."