Competition

Cate and Emma

Cate's pov

Friday we are hanging out at Regina's , I want to look great both for her and for me so I plan on fasting Friday, but eating light Thursday (today).

I started of my morning with yoga, yet here I am once again in the bathroom about to purge. I've been doing yoga in one way or another since I was little my dad and I used to do it together. I slide a popsicle stick down my throat and feel myself gag as the cookie and fruit snacks begin to slide up my throat.

Finally after what feels like a year I feel done. I chug the second bottle of water I brought along. I sit there waiting for my vision to come back into focus, waiting for the black spots to go away. I took a page out of Emma's book and brought a smoothie and a yogurt for lunch today instead of my typical soup, hopefully it fills me up.

I leave the stall and look in the mirror letting my hair down, putting a bit of my rare beauty blush on and a dab of kosas concealer. One thing about purging that I can't avoid is the slightly dead look after. I leave the bathroom and run into Emma in the hallway.

"Hey Emma !" I smile and look at her blonde hair, a curled half up half down today.

"Hey Cc, you look great ! " She says as she hugs me.

Sometimes I feel like she knows I'm bulimic, everytime she has seen me after I purged she tells me I look great. I know she's in therapy for orthorexia but how does she know my secret?

" Thank you! Rare beauty blush, H&M and GARAGE deserves the credit!" I joke back at her as the bell rings.

" Bye cc" she says waiving.

"Bye Em"

I sit next to Rebecca in class. She's once again in a hoodie in sweats.

" Cate, I wanted to say thanks for inviting to hang out with your friends the other day, but I wanted to ask you something?" She says timidly.

"Shoot!" I responded as Mrs. Taylor passes out the results from last weeks test.

" We all do sports, Emma and Regina do ballet, I play soccer, lee runs track and lifts weights and you do gymnastics, I know we all eat different amounts but how do you all stay so thin?"

This is a dreaded question for me, I mean you can't just tell someone your bulimic. I feel the color drain from my face and my heart stops. It's such a bold and bizarre question also why did Bex just interject herself into the group like that,  who is "we". I invite her out once and this is what I get?

" Well honestly we watch when we eat and we are dedicated to our sports, but if you are really curious you can ask ask again tomorrow!" I try to say the with a smile on my face but still being cool calm and collected.

" Does anyone have a specific problem to focus on?" Mrs. Taylor inquires.

I glance at my test, 100% my mom  will appreciate that, but I raise my hand and say number three anyways. Sometimes I joke on Tumblr that all the calorie counting I do makes me good at math.

As I sit through the rest of class I'm stuck there thinking how do we stay thin?  I purge and fast, lee works out, is naturally muscular and loves intermittent fasting,but I've never really observed her try to stay thin. Emma works out a ton and only eat healthy food and Regina, well she's naturally skinny. Still has her curves but I give credit to her latina genes sometimes genetics are the ticket.

I think all of us, except lee, want to be like Emma, she happily eats clean, she happily gets up at four am and works out for two hours. She does these things yes to watch her weight but also because she wants to. All that any of us really have in common is that we track our calories, I'll talk to the  girls about it today I guess.

Class comes to an end so I stop Bex, she's a nice girl and not totally ugly, although she could use some help. Indian, thick dark hair, big brown eyes, sometimes she comes to school with henna on her hands, great potential I just feel bad for her.

" Honestly I understand why you might ask me that but everyone's body is different what works for me might not work for you, bye!" Then I rushed out the door.