Competition

fasting

Emma's pov

We are all going over to Regina's tomorrow and there will probably be food and swimming in her pool.

As I sit in my English lit course I decided I'll fast tomorrow, I haven't fasted in awhile and I do want to lose three pounds so maybe I'll do a celery and beet juice fast. I like celery, I have a juicer and beats are okay.
I do juice or liquid fasts every once and a while mainly when I want to tighten up.

I open up my phone, scrolling past Snapchat, my lulu mirror workout app, MyFitnessPal and my calendar app. Opening up TikTok I search

" Celery juice cleanse."

I'm no stranger to a juice cleanse or juicing but I want to see how other people do it and mistakes they make. As I scroll through the video I notice that a lot of women are mixing things in with the juice in reality if you do that's it's less beneficial but I won't complain.

My course finishes and I get in my Jeep to drive home, take off my outfit and change into my bright red size two lulu hotty hot shorts.

" I might get into a size zero on the juice cleanse but really that's not my focus I'm doing this cleanse to feel clean " I Think as I step into my ballet room to warm up and practice before class.

I'm able to restrict what I'm eating without loosing control or having it be about wanting to immediately drop three pounds. Yes this fast is restricting however the juices make me feel good and I have variety.

Being orthorexic I want everything I eat to be clean and healthy I want to make it myself and be aware of where it came from. That's why I make my own everything and take vitamins for nutrients I might be deficient in. I'm not as restricted as I once was but I still think alot about what goes into my food.

" I'll make my juices tomorrow before school, this will be a short health kick fast. Besides I need a cleanse anyway. " I say to my reflection. It's not a relapse I'm only doing it for a couple days.

__________________________

Lee's pov

I'm spending time with myself after track practice in the gym thinking about tomorrow. I love spending time with my friends sometimes I feel like we might all be in secret competition with one another, who's the smartest, thinnest, preetiest, but with new goals for my body that competition has been something I've stepped away from.

As I rack the weight for my deadlift I ponder about how when I was heavily anorexic I would have spent Wednesday and Thursday fasting to prepare for the pig out at Regina's Friday. But I'm not going to do that. I'll eat 150 calories less today than I normally do but that's it, I'm not doing it to make a weight difference I'm doing it so I have more space for whatever I eat tomorrow. Plus even though whatever Regina has someone else make, will be balanced I still want to stay in my defecit.

I don't need to loose any weight, I'm lean I look great and my muscles are fire. I look masc in my body and feminine in my clothes, I don't need to change anything about me just because someone else says or thinks so.

Other than that I'll eat and lift normally. I might add another gym session to my week if I eat tons of greasy food at her house but that is incredibly unlikely. At that thought of peace I start my set.

______________________
Rebecca's pov

I'm going over to Regina's tomorrow and I'm not ready Cate texted me the address and Regina is rich, like mom drives a Bentley dad's a lawyer rich.

I sit down in from of my bathroom mirror and being to oil my dark thick hair, I'm Indian dark thick hair is in my genes, and not just on my head.

I'm listening to a YouTube video about binge eating while I do it.

" You aren't eating an insane amount of food because you are hungry, you are doing it to not face the heavy emotions that are bothering you. Sure it's possible you might not have eaten enough during the day so you are hungrier than usual, but that's not what made you eat an entire large meat lovers pizza "

" Damn I feel attacked. " I say aloud.

" What was that babi?" My mom yells from downstairs.

" Nothing" I responded back. I swear that woman has ears of steel, if ever tried to purge she'd hear me from miles away.

After listening to that portion of the video I think to myself.

" Normally I'd be so anxious about hanging out with new people I'd eat anything in sight, but today and tomorrow I'm not going to do that. I'm not eating again until I'm at Regina's house."

" Those other girls are so skinny they are probably doing the same thing as me anyway." I smile at my reflection.

Feeling confident in my conclusion I finish oiling my hair and text my mom saying I don't feel well and don't think dinner will sit right with me. If she looks me in the eyes she'll know I'm lying. It's not really a lie if I eat a little bit I'll just end up eating the whole kitchen till I'm sick.

___________________________________

Cate's pov

I know we are going over to little miss stick Regina's on Friday. I already know she's going to have tons of healthy food but that doesn't rest my concerns. Regina's ingredients are good no doubt. I mean her family shops at whole foods. She always has fun new recipes but I'm still worried.

Of course I have the option to just throw everything up in her downstairs bathroom but i don't want to get caught. Especially if she serves food I eat normally. Then she'll be like " I picked Cate's favorite foods especially so she won't be sick" then when I'm be t over in the bathroom it'll turn into a whole thing.

As I sit on my bed painting my toenails and watching killjoy on YouTube. The thought of fasting creeps into my head.

I try to fast at least once every two months. I don't do it often because it typically ends in a binge but it's a great way for me to feel like I've cleaned my system out. I could do a dry fast from now till Friday night? I know lee used to do them. However she also thought drinking water broke your fast. Not only us that not true but it's actually dangerous to not drink water. A day and a half isn't a big deal. But anything more than that can lead to dehydration.

I'm going to busy the next couple of days and I can just tell everyone I ate at school. My mom knows I pack lunch for school so I can just lie and say I packed some. Then I could study in the library during lunch so my friends wouldn't see me not eating. Plus you aren't allowed to eat in the library anyway.

Well now I gave the plane I just need to execute it.