Competition

After Class

Emma's pov

I open up my calorie tracker, lovely MyFitnessPal. My fruit and veg smoothie was about 150 calories. My fruit salad was about 120. The green smoothie was about 70, certainly not enough. So for an after school snack I made a mini apple pie and ate all 320 calories of it over two hours. Made a delicious matcha latte and slices of veggie pizza for dinner.

I don't count calories for concern about weight, I mean I've never been concerned about my weight ever. It's just a control sort of thing. I'd just like to know how much I'm eating and easily be able to look back at what I ate a few days later. You know, I like to be aware of my choices I mean some people clog there arteries just because they aren't aware f how much saturated fat is in there food, cheese especially.

Looking through my diary of the day I fell comfortable with what i've eaten but when my Dad comes home with matcha bagels I have half of one with him. He knows matcha will forever be my weakness.

" How was school Emmie?"

" It was decent, we invited someone new to hang out with us at Regina's house on Friday" I take a bite of my bagel, " But other than that nothing interesting."

" I hope you have fun Friday doll. " He says as he gives me a kiss on my forehead. As he heads up stairs, probably to his office.

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Cate's pov

I can't really purge at home so I just restrict my food. I walk inside say hi to my mom and two younger twin bothers.

" Hey everyone !!" I say when I walk in. Quickly kicking off my Birkenstocks.

" Hey sweetie!"

" Hey Cate"

" Hey Cate"

Dinner is already made, rice, fried shrimp, and salad. I'm not a fan of my options so instead I make myself lettuce wrap burritos, lettuce, bell peppers, onions, and tuna. I log it in Mynetdiary and go change for gymnastics. Honestly I'm just not big on anything fried.

Plus I don't like to eat a ton before gymnastics with all the running and tumbling rice doesn't sit well with me.

I used to hang out with my my family and brothers a lot, but all my brothers do is video game and eat food. They always want me to eat with them or cook them food. it's annoying and the food stresses me out so we hang out less now. It's sad but I need space.

My mom is hardly ever home. Always so busy with work. So she would never know that my brothers and I spend less time together. We do however still watch tv together every Thursday. Just a casual movie night for the three of us. It used to evolve butter popcorn, chocolate, soda and ice cream. Now I just eat skinny pop while they enjoy other snacks.
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Lee's pov

I change for track practice in the locker room. A simple lulu dress, it's actually really practical given the weather and it's cute which is always my first priority.

As an added bonus my arms are out and ready to be flexed.

Saying hi to some track friends as I start the warm up. The coaches have instilled starting the warm up at exactly 3:30, one lap around the track, the 100 meters criss cross, 100 meters with arm swings, 100 meters running back wards and the last hundred sprinting.

Then we have line drills of a,b and c skips coupled in with two 50 meter sprints.

I'm excited for the lifting part of the workout and power through the ins-and-outs coach has us do. Every day we lift is really just a show off day for me.

An hour and a half later after weight lifting I get back in the car and munch on an apple as I head home. I can't Survive without an after workout snack. My hunger cues go crazy and if I always ignored them in the long run is end up loosing muscle. Or when I was anorexic I'd just end up bingeing.

Thankfully I already logged the apple in the morning I just log all the food I've packed for the day in the morning saves me time and this way no one at school knows that I track calories, I'm not the only person who does it of course, but I've always been naturally thin in fact I used to get picked on by grown adults during primary school because of that. I always experienced other girls being mean to me because I was pretty or well dressed or articulate. Something little white girls hate to see in little black girls. So know I tend to alienate myself from people because I refuse to let jealous people be my friend and then later be jealous.

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Rebecca's pov

Another episode of Real housewives wives of Dubai comes on as I open up my fifth Twinkie. Twinkies and house wives go together. Well not real house wives. Yesterday I finished up the most current season of housewives of Atlanta so I gladly move on.

" God she is so thin" I say as I suck out the cream, the ladies on these shows have one of two bodies stick thin, or slim thick and I am neither. I pause the show take a picture of her and send it in the Snapchat GC. I caption it with:

" I wish I looked like her 😭"

I do wish I look like her. I hate how I look right now, I mean I hardly even belong in these spaces and sometimes I feel like I can't have an ED.
I never fast
I don't restrict my calories
I don't purge
I don't take laxatives
I don't work out other than soccer
I never have salad
I never skip meals
I don't want low calorie versions of food
I don't detox

And all that is basic eating disorder criteria. I mean all I do is eat sugary gummy candy, monster energy or rockstars if I'm feeling it. I love smarties, KitKats , twix candies , fruit flavored memntos, ramen, grilled cheese, and fried chicken.
As I type that out I take a big gulp of milk to wash down my last Twinkie.

I can't stop eating and is only 4:30 pm. Looks like tonight is another delightful binge. It's such a strange thing I'll feel the pasta start to taste like shit and instead of stopping I just move onto a pile of scrambled eggs and sausages.