GETTING TO KNOW MS. ANGER | MaColet

19 OPEN UP

YVES

Tinutok ko pa ang flashlight sa mukha niya at tumawa. "Ang OA naman ng 'iiwan' nasa kabilang kwarto lang ako. Sumigaw ka na lang pag may nakita kang multo" I joked, trying to lighten the mood.

But instead of laughing, she looked at me seriously and said "You can stay here."  Umisod pa siya para magkaspace ako sa tabi niya.

Eh?? Tabi kami matutulog?

Ganyan pala siya pag may sakit— And for a brief moment, naisip ko pa, masama na ba akong tao pag hiniling ko na sana wag na muna siyang gumaling para ganito kami palagi? charr!

"Sure ka ba?" I asked, still unsure if this was really happening. "Pwede naman akong dito na lang sa baba" tinuro ko pa yung sahig, hoping to give her an out if she changed her mind.

Pero tumapik siya sa space sa tabi niya at muling nagsalita. "Dito ka na." May lambing sa boses niya na bihira kong marinig, at hindi ko mapigilang mapangiti.

"Don’t worry, wala naman akong gagawin sayo" she whispered, na hindi ko masyadong naintindihan kaya hinayaan ko na lang.

I turned off the flashlight, letting the room be enveloped in darkness except for the occasional flash of lightning from outside. "You scared of the dark?" I asked, lying down next to her, our bodies just inches apart.

"Hindi sa dilim" she murmured, turning slightly towards me. "Sa kidlat."

Tumango lang ako, choosing not to ask why, respecting her silence. Baka ipaalala lang sakin yung rule number 2.

"Pwede ka nang matulog, hindi ako aalis" I reassured her, my voice gentle as I gazed at her face, the soft light from the lightning outside casting shadows across her features.

Tumalikod siya sakin and I carefully adjusted the blanket over us, making sure she was comfortable.
 
For the next hour, hindi ako makatulog habang ang bagyo sa labas ay patuloy na lumalakas. Every few minutes, I found myself subtly checking her temperature, dahan-dahan kong inilalagay ang kamay ko sa kanyang noo. Naramdaman kong unti-unti nang bumababa ang kanyang lagnat.

Another 30 minutes passed ng dalawin na ako ng antok. Bago ko dinamayan ang antok, I leaned over one last time to feel her forehead, just to be sure na bumaba na ang lagnat niya.

Tumalikod na rin ako sa kanya and closed my eyes, finally letting sleep take over.

Wala pa sigurong ilang oras akong natutulog ng makarinig ako ng mahihinang paghikbi at pag-iyak. Unti-unting dumilat ang mga mata ko at napansin kong unti-unti nang sumisikat ang araw sa labas, at ang malakas na ulan ay humupa na. Umupo ako at tumingin sa katabi ko.

"Ma…" she whispered over and over, her voice trembling with each sob.

Dahan-dahan kong inalog ang kanyang balikat. "Uyab, nananaginip ka" I whispered softly.

Unti-unting dumilat ang kanyang mga mata, at agad siyang bumangon, her breathing uneven as she tried to steady herself.

"Gusto mo ba ng tubig?" I asked gently, placing a comforting hand on her back, hoping to ease her tension.

Hindi makapaniwalang tumingin siya sa akin. "Hindi mo ako iniwan" she said, almost a whispered.

"Walang dahilan para iwan kita, uyab" I replied softly, my words carrying the weight of my promise to her.

Her gaze held mine, and in that moment, I could see so many emotions swirling in her eyes—loneliness, pain, love, guilt.

“Gusto mo bang ikwento kung ano ang panaginip mo? Ilang ulit mong tinawag ang mama mo"  I asked, my voice gentle, not wanting to push her too hard but needing to understand the pain she was carrying.

Hindi siya umiwas ng tingin, and for a second, nataranta ako ng may maalala.

"Rule number 2, sorry muntik ko pang makalimutan—" I began to apologize, realizing I might have overstepped, but she cut me off.

"Iniwan niya ako" she said, her voice breaking as the first tear slipped down her cheek. "Siguro masama akong tao dahil yung nag-iisang kakampi ko sa lahat ng bagay kinuha sakin. My mom died nang wala akong nagawa. Masyado pa akong bata noon, sobrang lakas ng ulan para makahingi ako ng tulong."

Kitang-kita ko ang malalim na sakit na matagal na niyang dinadala, ang bigat ng konsensiyang matagal nang nagpapahirap sa kanya. Ang luha na pumatak mula sa kanyang kaliwang mata ay patunay ng sakit na matagal na niyang kinikimkim sa loob.

Without thinking, I pulled her into a tight hug, wrapping my arms around her as if I could shield her from the pain of the past.

"You’re not a bad person, uyab. Hindi mo kailangang sisihin ang sarili mo. Kung nakikita ka ng mama mo ngayon, she’s proud of you dahil napalaki ka niyang matatag." I murmured, trying to offer her some comfort, to let her know that she wasn’t alone in her grief.

Kumalas ako sa yakap, cupping her face with both hands, my thumbs gently brushing away the tears that continued to fall.

"Iiyak mo lang lahat yan. Hindi kita iiwan." I said softly, my voice barely above a whisper.

"I’ll be your new kakampi, uyab"

As soon as the words left my mouth, she threw her arms around me, burying her face in my chest as she sobbed. I held her close, feeling her body shake with each tear, and I knew then that I would do anything to keep her from feeling this pain ever again. This was more than just comforting her; it was about being the person she could rely on, the one who would never leave her side.

Nasa ganung posisyon kaming dalawa—ako nakaupo sa gilid ng kama, siya naman nakahiga, nang maramdaman ko ang bigat sa aking balikat. Sa dahan-dahang paglingon ko, napansin kong nakatulog na siya, ang mga mata niya ay sarado, at ang hininga niya malalim at payapa.

Maingat kong inilapat ang kanyang ulo sa unan at dahan-dahang inihiga. Kinuha ko ang kumot at dahan-dahang itinakip sa kanya, ensuring na komportable siya.

Tumingin ako sa wall clock—6:00 AM na. Nais ko sanang bumaba para magluto ng breakfast para sa amin, pero ayokong magising siya na walang makikitang ako sa paligid.

The shock was still there—surprised that she had finally opened up to me, or maybe it was just because she wasn’t feeling well?

I shrugged that idea away. At least now I knew something more about her.

Ilang minuto ko siyang pinagmasdan, ang payapa ng mukha niya habang natutulog. Hanggang sa dahan-dahan siyang nagmulat ng mata.

"Good morning" I greeted her with my sweetest smile.

"Morning" sagot niya, halata pa ang antok sa boses niya.

"Nakatulog ka ulit kanina after mo... magkwento" nagdalawang-isip pa ako bago banggitin yung huling salita, not sure if she remembered what she had shared.

"Thanks for being a good listener" seryosong sabi niya, parang nabasa niya kung anong nasa isip ko.