GETTING TO KNOW MS. ANGER | MaColet

46.5 GUILT

I woke up early—or maybe I didn’t really sleep at all. Paulit-ulit kasing nagrereplay sa utak ko ang nangyari kahapon sa parking. Every time I closed my eyes, I saw it again.

And now, I didn’t know how to bring it up, how to talk to her.

I headed to the kitchen and made two cups of hot chocolate. I tried to distract myself kaya nagluto ako ng almusal—eggs, bacon, and toast.

As I set the table, I heard her footsteps behind me. "Morning." she greeted at dire-diretsong naupo sa mesa, avoiding eye contact.

Huminga ako nang malalim bago ko dinala sa mesa ang almusal na inihanda ko.

I forced a smile as I sat across from her. “Good morning, Uyab.”

She gave a quick nod at mabilis na sumulyap pero agad ding umiwas ng tingin. Her attention fixed on the plate in front of her.

We began eating, but I could barely taste anything. Every bite felt heavy.

I cleared my throat. "Ang aga mo yatang gumising?" tanong ko, sinusubukang basagin ang katahimikan.

But there was no answer.

I looked up, and that’s when I saw it—she was staring at me, her fork hovering mid-air, her lips slightly parted as if na parang may gusto siyang sabihin, pero naghehesitate.

"Do you... have something you want to tell—"

"Wala." mabilis niyang sagot at binalik na ulit sa pagkain ang atensyon niya.

And so we continued our breakfast in strained silence. Ang tunog ng kubyertos sa plato namin ang tanging maririnig.

Ramdam ko ang mga sulyap niya sa akin, kahit hindi ako tumitingin pabalik.

Matapos naming kumain I stood up, excused myself and headed to the bathroom for a quick shower. The cold water did little to wash away the unease building in my chest.

I stared at my reflection, wondering if I was overthinking everything.

Maybe I was. Maybe I wasn’t.

Once I was dressed and ready for the day, I stepped out of the bathroom. I had two subjects to attend today, a morning and an afternoon class.

But her... she was still suspended.

After I finished getting ready, I grabbed my bag and car keys. As soon as I stepped out of my room, I saw Uyab standing in the hallway, leaning against the wall with her arms crossed.

"Akin na yung susi." malumanay ngunit seryoso niyang sabi.

"Huh?" I frowned at her, confused.

"Ihahatid kita." sagot niya nang diretso.

Nagtataka man pero binigay ko na rin ang susi ng kotse ko. Tahimik lang kami habang naglalakad papunta sa sasakyan.

Pinagbuksan niya ako ng pinto as she always does.

The drive was quiet—too quiet.

This time, ako naman ang palihim na sumusulyap sa direksyon niya. Wondering what was going on in her head.

She was focused staring straight ahead, her grip on the steering wheel a little too tight.

Even though I knew she was hiding something from me, I couldn't bring myself to hate her.

Pagdating namin sa school, ipinark niya nang maayos ang kotse and turned off the engine.

"Thank you." I said softly, unsure of how else to break the silence.