FIRE ON FIRE ( cato hadley! )

chapter forty-one

——☆ FIRE ON FIRE
chapter forty-one: weight of absence

LILIA CONWAY COMPLETELY shut herself away after that. Days passed, but it all felt like one long, endless nightmare. She didn't eat. She didn't sleep. She barely moved. The girl sat in her room, curled up on the small bed in the quarters they'd given her in District 13, staring at the blank walls. She refused to come out.

Cato tried. Finnick tried. Johanna tried. They all knocked on her door, calling her name, but she never answered. The silence was safer. If she spoke, if she opened her mouth, she would break all over again.

Every once in a while, she would catch sight of something that would pull her back to memories she couldn't bear to remember. Like her father's laugh at the dinner table. The way her mother's hands always felt so warm when they brushed her hair. Maya's bright smile as sat on the ocean shore together.

She remembered that night, last year, two days before the Reaping, where they had all eaten her mother's seafood pasta and listened to Adrian Reed talk about the "monster" fish he caught.

"You won't believe what happened today," Adrian began, running a hand through his dark brown hair.

Lilia raised an eyebrow, "Oh, this should be good. What happened?"

"So, there I was," Adrian continued, gesturing with his hands, "out on the boat, minding my own business, when I hooked this fish. And I swear, this thing was a monster. It felt like I'd hooked a shark or something."

Beside him, Maya giggled, shaking her head, "A shark? Really, Adrian?"

"Hey, I'm serious!" Adrian insisted, though his grin gave him away. "It was fighting me with everything it had, pulling the boat, nearly tipping us over!"

"I don't believe it," Maya replied.

"Oh, come on!" Adrian spoke, turning to the boy beside him. "Finnick, you believe me, right?"

Finnick smirked, leaning back in his chair as he took a sip from his glass. "Depends. Did you actually catch this shark?"

Adrian chuckled, throwing up his hands in defeat. "Alright, alright, you caught me. It wasn't a shark. But it was a huge fish."

The entire table joined in laughter, the sound echoing throughout the room. As Lilia glanced around at her family and friends, she felt a warmth spread through her chest, a sense of comfort.

Lilia Conway knew she would never feel that sense of comfort again for the rest of her life. The comfort of being with all of her family and friends, sitting at the dinner table together and telling stories about their day. They were gone.

Gone. All of it. Gone.

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On the seventh day of her self-isolation, a knock came at her door. It was quieter than the previous knocks, gentler.

"Lilia? It's Johanna..." her voice trailed off, muffled behind the door. "I've brought you something."

The blonde girl didn't reply.

There was a brief pause before the door slid open, Johanna peeking inside. She saw Lilia sitting on the edge of the bed, staring blankly at the wall, her shoulders slumped.

"I didn't want to barge in," Johanna continued, stepping into the room and setting a tray of food on the small table. "I just thought you might be hungry."

Lilia didn't move. She didn't even acknowledge she was there.

The girl took a deep breath, walking closer. "Look, I know you're hurting. But shutting everyone out...it's not going to help."

A single tear slid down Lilia's cheek, then another. It was the first sign of emotion she had shown in days. She didn't move, she didn't speak, but she listened.

"You know, after I won the Games, the Capitol..." Johanna began, pausing for a brief moment before continuing. "They killed my family, too."

Instantly, the words caught her attention, and Lilia quickly looked to the girl. That was not what she was expecting to hear.

Johanna's voice trembled slightly as she continued, "They wanted to make an example of me. They wanted to show that no one could stand up to them, no matter how strong they were. So they got rid of every single person that I loved."

Lilia's heart sunk as she listened to her words. She had always seen Johanna as strong and unbreakable, but now she saw the cracks, the scars that went deeper than she had realized.

"And now, I have no one left."

"I'm sorry," Lilia said softly. "I didn't know."

Johanna gave a small, sad smile. "Of course you didn't. It's not something I like to bring up, obviously. But, I just wanted to let you know that I get it."

Lilia nodded. "I didn't think anyone else could understand."

Johanna reached out, placing a comforting hand on Lilia's shoulder. "We've all been through hell, Lilia. One way or another. But that's why we have to stick together. Because we understand what it's like to lose everything."

Lose everything.

Lilia nodded again, feeling a strange comfort in Johanna's words. For the first time since she had isolated herself, she felt a connection with someone who truly understood her pain.

"Thank you," Lilia said, her voice clearer now. "For sharing that with me."

Johanna nodded.

Lilia took a deep breath, her shoulders relaxing slightly. The pain was still there, still overwhelming, but Johanna's presence made it a little more bearable.

After a few minutes passed, Lilia watched as the door closed softly behind her, leaving her in the quiet room once more. The food sat untouched, and for the first time, Lilia reached for it and began to eat.